Page 22 of Twisted Secrets

“All right. I’m taking her up,” I tell Crew.

“You sleep with her tonight. She won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“You sure?”

He nods. “Yeah. I’m gonna cook a pizza and probably crash on the couch.”

Crew’s been sleeping on the living room couch a lot lately. The only reason I can ascertain is that he’s playing watchdog and keeping an eye on the door at night. I haven’t asked, but if I did, I’m sure that’s the reasoning I’d get.

If Scar weren’t here, I know he’d give two fucks less, but she is, and for that, he wants to keep her safe. I can’t fault him for that. I’m actually pretty impressed with how serious he’s taking this. His number one priority right now is keeping her safe, as is mine.

After taking off her shoes, I scoop her up in my arms, cradling her like a baby while I carry her to her room. As I kick open her bedroom door, I look down at her. Eyes closed, mouth parted slightly.She’s perfect.

“Crew,” she grumbles, eyelids fluttering.

Crew?There’s a pang in my chest hearing her ask for him.

“No, baby. It’s me.”

Her eyes open slightly. The stench of liquor rolls off her tongue as she asks, “Where’s Crew?”

“He, uh, he’ll be up in a minute.”

For the first time since Scar and I started dating, I’m jealous. Jealous that she’s asking for Crew when I’m standing right here. I’m the one who carried her home and brought her up to her room. I’m here, yet she wants him?

One arm goes around my neck and she curls her head against my chest. “I’m drunk, Jagger.”

“Yeah, you are.” I lay her down gently on the bed and slide off her damp fishnet tights. She must’ve fallen in the snow at least a dozen times. Gripping the corner of her comforter, I bring it up to her shoulders.

When I turn to walk away, planning to go get Crew for her, she says, “Don’t leave me.”

I turn back around, stepping closer to the bed. My fingers run through her hair, pushing it off her forehead. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

She sits up, pulling her dress over her head then lies back down, wearing only her black satin bra and matching panties.

After shedding myself of my jeans and hoodie, I’m in only my boxers when I climb under the blanket with her. Scar throws an arm around me, burying her head against my shoulder, then flings a leg over mine.

I’m staring at the ceiling, the only light coming from her nightlight plugged in beside the bed. The complete silence leaves me with only the screaming thoughts in my head.

Will she ever want me as much as she wants Crew? They have history. He was her first. From what I hear, they loved each other in secret until Neo blew it all apart with his theories. What would they be, had he never done that? More than likely, a solid couple without me as the baggage in her life.

“Is he coming?” Scar asks, her voice muffled by the pillow pressed between my shoulder and her face.

“Think so,” I lie. I could reach down, grab my phone and shoot him a text to get up here, but that sting of jealousy won’t let me do it.

Self-doubt isn’t something I get often, but when I do, it hits me like a fucking tidal wave. Only one person has ever made me feel less than good enough, and that’s my father. If I don’t do things exactly the way he wants, I’m a failure in his eyes. I once got a B on a test and he grilled me like a sergeant. Screaming in my face that my future was on the line and these types of grades will get me nowhere in life. A fucking B! Never got one after that, until now. My grades are slipping lately. I’m too hung up on everything else. This stalker case, being a member of The Lawless…Scar. But what good is any of it if I’m not coming in first place? Is there a place with her? Fuck! I’m in my head too goddamn much.

Scar lifts her head, her bloodshot eyes wide. “Do you think something happened to him?”

“He’s fine.” My words come out harsher than I planned, but damn.

“Hey,” she says, tone low, “what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m here, Scar. Isn’t that enough?” My head shakes in annoyance, and I know I’m being ridiculous, but I don’t care either way. I’ve been told I get reckless and careless when I’m drunk. I tend to take more risks than I would sober and I put my foot in my mouth far too much. I think alcohol just makes you say the things you always want to but aren't brave enough to speak when you’re not under the influence.Then again, I don’t think I’m even drunk anymore.

Her eyebrows pinch together as her face hovers over mine. “Of course it is. Why are you even asking that?”

“Maybe because he’s all you’ve asked about since I carried you in here.”

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