Page 78 of Three Times You

And Babi walks in. And so, for the first time, the two women come face-to-face. Gin had seen her often, but only from a distance. Babi, on the other hand, has only seen Gin in pictures. They remain motionless for a moment, eyeing each other.

Then Babi extends her hand. “Ciao. I’m Babi. I’m so sorry to have to meet you in this kind of situation.”

Gin looks at her hand extended in midair in her direction. Then she looks Babi right in the eyes and, in the end, takes her hand. “Can I offer you anything to drink or eat?”

“No, thanks.”

“This is my daughter, Aurora.”

Babi walks over to the crib. “She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks. I know that you have a little boy too. Massimo. In fact, to tell the truth, I’ve seen a picture of him, and I know all about him.”

Babi is about to come up with a reply, but Gin stops her. “I don’t want to argue. I’ve thought it all over, at considerable length. It’s only natural to think that I’d be angry at the two of you, and at you in particular, but in reality, when things like this happen, the people involved can’t see themselves from outside. But I did my best to get that perspective, and I realized that I was at fault, terribly and grievously at fault, because I wanted a person who wasn’t really mine.”

Babi looks at her but says nothing.

Gin throws both arms wide. “You see, I understood this one fundamental thing. Whatever else happens, even if you don’t love him anymore, even if he’ll never be with you, he’s going to be yours for all time. This is the feeling that I envy so badly, but I know that there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not even a defeat. It’s really just the most beautiful nature of things, it’s what I really yearned for, it’s love.”

Babi tears up and turns away to try and conceal it.

Gin continues. “I know that’s how it is. There’s nothing wrong. You’re not to blame. Absurd as it is, you even tried to prevent it, both of you…”

“Yes.”

“But now there’s something important that I want you to do for me.”

Babi turns and looks at her in surprise.

“I want you to make sure that Step is happy, I want you to fill his life with love in a way that I’ve been unable to do. I’d like to be able to think of the two of you together, like a happy family, without shadows or problems. But if that proves to be impossible, if you can’t do it, then don’t waste his time. There, that’s really all I wanted to tell you.” Then Gin sits down in her armchair. “Forgive me, but I’m a little tired. Why don’t you sit down too? If you feel like it.”

Babi sits down on the sofa, facing her.

Gin takes the glass sitting on the table and sips some water from it. “I don’t know if you’re thirsty. I’d pour you a glass but I don’t have the strength. Please forgive me.”

“I’m happy to do it. Don’t worry. It’s not a problem.” Babi takes another glass nearby and fills it up.

“I’m happy you could come by. You could just as easily have refused to meet with me.”

Babi drinks some water and then sets the glass down on the low table. “Yes, I could have been a coward. But that’s not the way I am.”

Gin smiles at her. “There are surely some who might think that it’s easy to say the kind of things I’ve been saying when a person knows they’re on the verge of death. But it’s not. I really think it. I love Step so much, and that has nothing to do with my own state of health. It would have been selfish to make him stay with me in any case. If you really love a person, what do you want for them more than anything else?”

“For them to be happy.”

“That’s it. Exactly. And with you, he can be happy.”

They sit in silence for a while. Gin looks out the window. It’s a lovely day, and she can feel the sun warming her legs.

Babi finally says, “We would have been good friends, you and I.”

Gin turns to look at her. “No. We would have been ‘frenemies,’ I’m afraid, just like in the movies.”

“Gin, I’m so sorry to have to finally meet you this way, and I’m sorry about everything that’s happened. Forgive me. I would never be able to act as you have. You’re a much better person than I am.”

Gin smiles. “Maybe, but not all that much better. Still, it is what it is. Now I need to get some rest.”

Babi stands up and walks toward the door.

---