Page 78 of The Gilded Survivor

“And I want you to know that I really am grateful… for earlier.”

“For earlier?” I asked.

“For saving me,” he replied flatly.

I nodded slowly. “You don’t need to say it again.”

There was a moment of silence, and then Antonio continued. “What do you want?”

My brows furrowed. “What?” The sleeping bag from my pack was wrapped around me like a blanket, and I was luxuriating in the warmth.

His intense, beautiful brown eyes met mine. That same monumental force of presence I’d come to know followed. “What do you want in return for saving me? This morning I was telling you how the lower classes are being slowly drugged to their deaths, and you called me a monster. Then you turned around and saved me? You did it for a reason.”

His words were heavy, but they made sense. It took me a minute to formulate an answer. “I didn’t do it for you to be indebted to me,” I drawled. The more time I spent with Antonio, the clearer it was that he was not evil like some Élites.

He was a human with flesh and blood. Maybe that made him more dangerous to me. “You were going to die. Your life is more important than me being petty.” I put my hands out in front of the fire.

He scoffed, and a puff of white escaped his mouth. “My mother and father taught me that the only thing that matters is whether you can manipulate others better than they manipulate you.”

He stared into the flames like they were dancing reincarnations of his deceased father. “I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who would save me without expecting something in return.” He looked away, his eyes darkening. “It’s hard to trust people in this life.”

My nose scrunched. “Élites are barbarians. You were raised by the cruelest creatures on the planet. No one should live like that.”

“No one should have to,” he said finally. He looked away reticently, and then back again, a fire light shining off his face. “But I did.”

Again, we were on the subject of choice. He was so solemn that I thought he might cry. That softness inside of me whispered to reach out and touch him, but I would never do that.

I shifted in place, and then he spoke again. “You’re different,” he said, his voice low and almost too quiet.

My mouth went dry. Somehow, I felt like I had an ally in my hatred of the Élites. I felt like he understood me more than I expected. “So are you.”

He took a bite from his meager meal. “How did you turn into something so good in this shitty world?”

I stared at the dancing flames, thinking about Flamenco for a moment. “I’m not that good. The best I could say is that I’m independent.”

“You are a much better person than me. But you are too slow to ask for help.” His words were carefully thought out, almost jilted.

He was like this on rare occasion. A memory of him giving a speech in Puerto Dolores, watching from a cold orphanage floor all those years ago, flashed through my mind. Right before the bombings.

I forced my mind to focus on Antonio’s face, not wanting to relive the disaster right now. Then I continued.

“You don’t understand—I wasn’t born this way. I was made.” The words struck a chord inside of my soul. The trust that was blooming to us must have been a trauma bonding.

Once I had shared, it was hard to stop. “Instead of asking for help, it was easier to find things I sought within myself. No one could let me down. I didn’t need anyone else.” Then I considered my words for a moment. “Well, maybe I need Magda.” I thought of how lonely it had been to sleep alone, not to have someone who understood what I’d been through.

Antonio considered this. “Companionship is important.”

Something strange occurred to me to ask, something I had no right asking, but I didn’t care. If I was going to become… friends with this man, a man I had saved, I should know more about him. “Was your wife your companion?”

He looked surprised, so I added, “May she rest in peace.”

He pursed his lips and waited so long I was sure he wouldn’t answer. His expression was odd. Definitely not that of a person who had worn mourning clothes for much too long.

It wasn’t until I stood up to spread out my sleeping roll he spoke. “What Beleza and I had was a sort of friendship, but I didn’t love her and she sure didn’t love me.”

My eyebrows shot up.

Knowing what I knew now about marriages between Élites, it didn’t surprise me. What surprised me was that he responded.

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