Page 50 of If I Were Yours

My moans come long and loud as the simmering heat within my core coils tighter and tighter.

“Such a horny little girl,” he taunts, grabbing my hair and yanking my head back, sending sharp needles of pain into my scalp. “Show me what an obedient sub you are and come for me.”

I have no idea whether it’s his words or the pain that sends me over. It doesn’t matter. I come apart, shuddering and convulsing as the orgasm rips through me, taking away everything except his control. My orgasm spurs on his release, and I wail and moan as he drags on my pleasure.

When he finally pulls out of me, I’m spent. Exhausted, yet entirely at peace, and when he pulls me down and curls me up against him, I feel a sense of belonging deeper than anything I’ve ever felt.

— CHAPTER 17 —

CLARA

Come morning, I’m torn between the deep submission Grigory stirred in me last night and the oppressive feeling of having a pivotal life decision forced upon me.

I need some space to think and time alone to call Markus and hear what the hell is going on—find out if he’s truly in on this.

“Can I go to the university and practice?” I ask once I’ve showered and dressed. Grigory is already leaving tomorrow morning, so I should spend whatever time I can with him, but I can’t be with him until I process all of this and talk to Markus.

Grigory consents to my request, and as soon as I have eaten breakfast—on his order—I leave.

I’m restless and jittery once I shut the double doors to the rehearsal room. And angry, to be quite frank. The two men went entirely behind my back with this decision—this major decision that will change everything. They didn’t even ask what I wanted.

Instead of going straight for the piano like I usually do, I take out my phone to call Markus. I’m too worked up to sit still and immerse myself in music.

I’m pacing the small room, biting the back of my finger when he finally picks up.

“Hi, sweetie,” he says. “Perfect timing. Our conductor just called a break.”

I must have learned a thing or two from Grigory because I dive straight into the frustrating matter, skipping all pleasantries. “Are you really okay with this plan about me quitting my studies and applying for the conservatory?”

“Yes.”

“But I can’t just quit my studies here. This plan is so far-fetched—”

“You’re not going to quit them,” he cuts in, voice taking on a stern edge to counter my frustration. “You’ll put them on pause. There’s a big difference.”

“What happens when I don’t get into the conservatory and I’ve missed a whole semester’s worth of classes?Andthree exams. How am I supposed to catch up on that?”

“You’ll take the exams in the summer. We both know you don’t need the classes to pass. You’ve aced exams for classes you’ve barely read a single text for all semester.”

I breathe a heavy sigh. He’s right. When I put in the effort, I have no problem doing the academic work. At least in the small amounts required to do an exam. But it doesn’t change the recklessness of this plan. I can’t just put my studies on hold for a wild dream.

“I haven’t even given this reading routine of yours a chance,” I say.

“Sweetie, you were exhausted after three days. And to be frank, I should have seen this coming. You’ve always struggled with the academic texts. I should never have agreed to this master’s program in the first place, but you were so eager to get back to music that it seemed the best plan at the time.”

“If you think I have an actual shot at the conservatory, why didn’t you suggest it back then? Or is this all Grigory’s doing?”

Markus’s tone becomes razor-sharp. “I’d never let Grigory sway me on a matter like this.”

“I’m sorry,” I quickly say.

“I never mentioned the conservatory before because you weren’t ready. But now you are. You’ve made tremendous progress after Grigory started teaching you. So when he suggested the conservatory, I was on board from the moment he said you had a shot at getting in.”

I feel terrible for even suggesting he’d let Grigory sway him. But it doesn’t change that I’m goddamn mad about them making this decision behind my back.

“I just hate that you didn’t even ask me,” I say, plopping onto a chair in defeat.

“Sweetie, there’s no doubt that this is the right thing for you. I didn’t need to ask. And there was no time. Grigory came to me with this idea two days ago, and we had to make a quick decision since you need all the time you can get to prepare.”

---