Page 5 of Nanny for the Single Dad Player

Her head lifts so her gaze can find mine, and although the sheen in her eyes remains, her expression turns a little more serious, which I’m surprised she is even capable of at this moment. She holds a hand out, pointing at me with her index finger as she states. “No. Just Alex. No Alexandra.”

I’m not surprised by her words. It isn’t the first time she has corrected me when I referred to her as Alexandra. When she is sober, she gets a look in her eye, one that is so brief that I would think I imagined it, but it’s obvious she doesn’t like being called by her full first name. It only piques my curiosity, but it’s not a question to be asked right now.

“Lock the door behind me, Alex,” I reword, grabbing the door handle. “Goodnight.”

Her head tilts, watching me with blue eyes. Her expression softens into a smile, just a small one. “Goodnight, Leo.”

* * *

In the morning, I am not surprised when Alex wanders into the kitchen about an hour and a half later than she normally does. She looks completely put together, not like she drunkenly stumbled home at two-thirty in the morning, other than the obvious tiredness in her eyes and mild paleness in her cheeks. But as soon as she catches sight of Lilah and me having our breakfast, I see the change in her expression.

Embarrassment coats her features, adding some color to her cheeks as she shuts the door behind her. “Good morning,” she says quietly, which has me pausing with my cup of coffee halfway to my mouth. In the time since she started working for us, I don’t think I have heard her speak so quietly.

I wonder if she remembers last night—if she remembers that offhanded, drunken comment she had made about us. God fucking knows I spent most of the night thinking about it myself.

“Hi, Alex,” Lilah says, waving enthusiastically from her seat.

Alex flashes a smile at my daughter, but I can tell she’s pointedly avoiding my gaze as she walks further into the kitchen. My jaw works, aiming for things to be casual as I tell Alex, “There’s more coffee in the pot.”

I’m assuming she already had her morning cup, but the relief on her face tells me it wasn’t enough as she walks over to the pot on the counter by the stove. My gaze tracks her movements as she pulls a mug out of a cabinet and pours herself some coffee. Without even looking at her face, I can tell she flinches as she brings the mug up to her mouth to sip from it.

Despite myself, amusement trickles through me as I find myself asking, “Did you have a good night last night?”

I tell myself I’m not looking for any kind of particular answer—or reaction. I remind myself I’m not trying to see if she remembers what she said. But my gaze is intently fixed on Alex as she turns and leans her lower back against the edge of the counter, cupping the mug in both hands. Next to me, Lilah eats her bowl of cut up fruit after finishing off her pancakes, an iPad propped in front of her as the sound ofCocomelondances through the kitchen.

“Um,” Alex says with a small smile, nodding slowly. “Yeah, it was good.” She straightens a little, her throat working as her gaze meets mine. I see an apologetic look cross her gaze, and I stiffen in my chair, fully expecting her to address what she said. Instead, Alex blows out a breath and says, “I’m so sorry for coming in late. I slept through my first two alarms and—”

Part of me relaxes. “Alex,” I cut in, effectively silencing her as she clamps her mouth shut. She looks at me, blue eyes swimming with guilt, and the sight of it feels wrong. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You had a late night. Being a little late isn’t the end of the world.”

Her throat works and she nods slowly. Her cheeks are still a little pink, but I’m just relieved to see some color in them. “Okay,” Alex says, chewing her lower lip, and I have to force myself not to hone in on the sight. She stares at the floor in front of her, eyebrows pulling together before she tilts her head and, without looking at me, she asks slowly, “Were you, er… did you help me out last night?”

My expression doesn’t give anything away, sitting comfortably back in my chair. “You dropped your keys outside,” I tell her nonchalantly. “I just came to unlock the door for you.”

Alex considers me for a second before letting out a sigh of relief and nods. “Alright, that’s not too bad,” she says with a breathless sort of smile that seems to strike me directly in the chest. My grip on my mug tightens as she adds jokingly, “Glad I didn’t do or say anything too embarrassing.”

I press my teeth together and school my expression, taking a long sip of my coffee to keep myself from giving anything away. Obviously, she doesn’t remember the little comment she made, and I tell myself that since she doesn’t remember, I should do my best to forget it, too. So, I give her a quick smile and say, “No, you’re in the clear.”

Alex lets out a quiet laugh, nodding in relief. “Do you have practice today?” she questions.

“A gym session, and then a few meetings after,” I inform her. I glance at Lilah just as she giggles at whatever she’s watching, mushed up pieces of strawberries sticking to her face. “Do you two have anything planned for today?” I ask, looking back at Alex.

I see her also smiling fondly at Lilah, and it spreads warmth through me. It’s always nice and comforting to see Alex so obviously endeared by Lilah, and I’ve seen that happy, delighted look in Lilah’s eyes as well whenever she is with Alex. The two of them get along really great, and it’s one of the main reasons as to why it’s been easier than I initially expected to get used to Lilah having a nanny.

“I was thinking we’d have a swimming day today,” Alex says, her grin widening when Lilah gasps excitedly, eyes already widening. “We’ll read some books and swim, then we’ll have nap time, and then maybe we could bake. How does that sound?” she asks Lilah.

My daughter is already nodding enthusiastically, and I can’t help but chuckle. The weather may be kind of cold outside, especially since we are in Chicago, but that isn’t a problem because of the heated indoor pool room at the back of the house. The pool outside is covered up for the winter weather, but the indoor one functions all year round.

“So fun,” Lilah answers Alex with a smile. She then pushes her empty bowl away and says, “All done.”

“All done?” Alex repeats with a grin, putting her mug down and pushing away from the counter. “Let’s get you cleaned up, you messy munchkin,” she laughs, walking over and making grabby hands. I hold the back of Lilah’s chair as she excitedly pushes up to her feet and stands on it, her arms already up and allowing Alex to easily scoop Lilah up in her arms.

I don’t allow myself to take a breath when Alex is so near, unless I want to be hit by her familiar lavender scent that is sure to make my head spin. I can feel the smile stretching my lips up as I watch them go, an unfamiliar tug in my chest that I ignore as they disappear out of sight. Though, I can still hear Alex and Lilah giggling amongst themselves as they go upstairs, leaving me alone in the kitchen. I take a breath, and I can still smell Alex.

4

ALEX

It turns out, we ran out of vanilla extract and were running low on cocoa powder, so after Lilah and I did our daily reading, I decided we would do a quick grocery run so we can have what we need to bake after swimming. I didn’t want to wait until after we swam since Lilah would be taking a nap, and I don’t want to disrupt that by bringing her along when she should be sleeping.

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