Page 48 of The Stolen Moments Trilogy

Emilia sighs, her eyes filled with sorrow. “I can’t wait,” she whispers. “I’m working as hard as I can to make sure I get a full ride. Thanks to your dad’s endless speeches, USC is my first choice too. I really hope I’ll be able to join you in two years.”

I look away, hesitating. “Emilia,” I whisper. She looks at me and tilts her head in question. “I don’t know. I miss you, baby. I miss you so much. I hate the thought of being so far away and not even being able to call you mine. We can keep it from Kate if you want, but please, please tell me you’ll be my girlfriend.”

She looks at me with wide eyes and I see the flash of excitement in her eyes. I know she wants to say yes, but then rationality overtakes her. She shakes her head even as her eyes are filling with tears.

“Carter, I can’t. We can’t. Kate has been so vocal about her ending our friendship if I ever dated you. I can’t do it knowing that I’ll lose her. She’s my best friend, Carter. I can’t do this, no matter how much I might want to. And you know your mom doesn’t approve. She’s never asked anything of us before. I don’t think I could live with myself if I went behind her back like that. Could you? I think it’ll just destroy our relationship in the end.”

I feel my anger rise, fueled by my helplessness. “So, you’d rather lose me? Make no mistake, Emilia, things can’t stay the way they are now. I’m not going to pine after you, knowing that you can’t even put me first. I need you to trust that Kate and Mom will get over it. They’ll be mad as hell for a while, but in the end, they’ll just want you to be happy.”

Emilia shakes her head, a single tear dropping down her cheek. “No, they won’t. They won’t get over it, Carter. Kate especially will never forgive me.”

I sigh and throw my arm over my face to hide my despair. “Minx... I can’t do this. I can’t go back and forth with you like this. I can’t keep waiting for you to finally realize how good we could be together. I can’t keep waiting for you to finally put me first.”

She looks at me speechlessly. “What does that mean?” she asks, her voice trembling.

I look away, unsure. “I don’t know, Minx. I guess it just means we move on. If you don’t want us to be together, then I guess we won’t be. I don’t want to, but I can’t keep begging you to be with me. You’ve made it clear where we stand and you’ve made your choice. I’ll respect that, Emilia, I’ll move on. I’ll forget we ever even happened, and with time I’m sure things can go back to what they used to be. That’s what you want, right?”

I’m praying that she’ll say no, that she’ll say that this isn’t what she wants. That she’s changed her mind, and that she wants to be with me after all. But she doesn’t. She’d rather lose me than risk upsetting my family. I wish I could hate her for it, but I can’t. It’s my own family she’s putting first.

Emilia nods, and whatever was left of my heart shatters. “Yes, okay. Let’s do that,” she says.

I nod. That’s it — we’re done. Now I just have to make myself believe it.

Chapter 41

Emilia

I’m anxious, and I hate that I am. I’ve barely heard from Carter in two weeks. If not for the things Kate mentioned, I wouldn’t even know if he settled in well or not. I type and retype a text over and over again.

Emilia: Hey, how are things going?

I wait for a reply anxiously. He doesn’t text back until an hour later. I can’t focus on class at all because all I do is glance at my phone.

Devil: Yeah, good. How are things at home?

I bite down on my lip and stare at my phone. He’s asking how things are at home, he’s not asking how I am. I don’t really know how to keep a conversation going with Carter these days. It was so effortless when he first moved away. We’d text all the time, and he’d video call me before bed every day.

Ever since that conversation we had about calling things off, he’s been distant. He’s kept his word, and he’s moving on. Part of me actually thought we’d stay close and that we’d still text all the time, but it’s quite the opposite. He barely texts and hasn’t called me once. I know I’m not his girlfriend, and I know I chose not to be, so I don’t have the right to complain about it, but still.

I’m filled with regret. Should I have said yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend? Would I be able to deal with the fallout that would definitely follow between Kate and me? Would I be able to live with the knowledge that I did the one thing Helen asked me not to?

Emilia: Yeah, things are good! :) Send me some photos of your dorm! I heard you decorated it a bit?

Carter doesn’t reply again for another hour. I don’t get it — does he send one text and then immediately put his phone away? He always used to reply to me within seconds. I can’t help but overthink things. Eventually he texts me back.

Devil: Sorry, I’m so swamped with training and practice. My new coach is a lunatic. I barely have time to sleep between football and classes. I’ll send you some pics later.

Emilia: Okay, don’t overwork yourself! Speak to you later :)

I groan and drop my head to my desk. This is stupid. All my conversations with Carter are short and awkward. It’s usually me who’s reaching out, too. He warned me he’d move on and I thought I’d be okay with it, but I’m really not.

I sigh and start scrolling through my social media feed. I pause on a photo and stare at it with wide eyes, my heart sinking. Carter was tagged in a photo by some girl. His arms are wrapped around her and they’re clearly out somewhere since both of them have drinks in their hands. She’s smiling up at him and he’s grinning at the camera.

All those evenings I spent waiting for a call or a text, and he’s just been going out drinking and hanging out with other girls. I guess I only have myself to blame — he asked me to make things official, and I didn’t want to. He’s not mine. He’s not my boyfriend, and he doesn’t owe me anything, but it still hurts like hell.

I throw my phone in my bag when the bell rings. I feel stupid. I’m being stupid. Kate is already seated in the canteen and looks like she hasn’t slept in days. I guess Asher being gone is harder on her than she’s admitting.

“Hey,” she mutters listlessly.

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