Page 53 of The Stolen Moments Trilogy

Emilia and Carter’s Songs

The Playlist for Illicit Promises

Chapter 1

Emilia

I’m trembling as Kate and I walk up to the apartment that Carter and Asher share. My hands are clammy and my heart is hammering in my chest.

Carter and I haven’t had a genuine conversation in the last year and a half. Every time he came home, he went out of his way to avoid me. If he was ever forced to speak to me, he’d treat me with such indifference I’d barely recognize him. Ever since the first time he came home, he and I have slowly but surely become strangers. Carter now treats me with the same cold politeness that he used to reserve for Kate’s other friends. It’s like he and I were never friends. Like we weren’t so much more than that. I’m terrified of seeing him again. I’m terrified of him pushing me away even further.

I’ve been in a weird state of denial, telling myself that we’re only distant because he’s been so far away, but soon I’ll be out of excuses. I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with the guy he’s become. Carter and I used to be so close, but now I barely know him. All I know is whatever I hear from Kate and Helen, combined with what I see on social media and on the news. He’s a rising football star and based on the photos I’ve seen online, well-loved by the girls at USC. While I know he isn’t the guy he used to be, my heart refuses to accept it. In the few interviews he’s done on his private life, he made it clear that he doesn’t believe in love at all and that he enjoys his bachelor lifestyle. The Carter I used to know wasn’t like that. He might never have said it, but I’m pretty sure he used to love me as much as I loved him.

The door opens, and Asher appears, his eyes lingering on Kate. I know the two of them have been seeing each other on and off again — neither of them able to stay away, though they both keep trying. All the while they’ve done their best to keep it from Carter until they finally decide to make things official, which has yet to happen. For Kate, Carter’s graduation party was the start of something new. It was the night she and Asher finally gave in and acted on their feelings, setting in motion the months of push and pull they’ve gone through. For me, it was the end of the best thing I ever had. The night I spent with Carter was the last night we had together.

Asher pulls Kate toward him and hugs her tightly, his face buried in her hair. When they’re still wrapped up in each other minutes later, I clear my throat awkwardly. Asher blinks and looks at me, confused. Yep. He didn’t even see me standing here. He blushes and steps back to let us in.

“Hey, Emilia,” he murmurs. I roll my eyes and push past him. If they’re going to be this obvious about their affection for each other, they might as well not even try to keep it from Carter. They’re hardly subtle. For a split second, I wonder what things might have been like if Carter and I started dating two years ago. Would we have made it? Would Helen and Kate have gotten over it? Would he be welcoming me the way Asher is welcoming Kate? My heart aches at the mere thought of all the would-haves and could-haves.

“Make yourself at home,” Asher tells us. Kate and I follow him in curiously. The apartment looks so normal. It doesn’t look like the bachelor pad I was expecting. It’s just a regular two-bedroom apartment with neutral colored furniture. It isn’t even messy. The boys can do with a bit of color, but they certainly haven’t done a bad job.

We pause in front of Carter’s bedroom and Kate sighs. “Is he still asleep?” she asks, her mood souring. I check my watch and bite down on my lip. It’s nine am on a Sunday, but he knew we’d get here today. I might not have spoken to him much, but I know Kate has.

Kate rolls her eyes and opens his bedroom door. I hesitate before following her in. Will he be happy to see me at all? Will he be upset if we wake him up? Things haven’t been the same between us in months now, but I’m hoping we can at least become friends again now that we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.

It’s pitch dark when we walk in, and Kate slams her hand against the light switch. Carter’s room is bathed in light and he groans. My eyes roam over his room in surprise. His floor is scattered with clothes and other mess. Carter was never super tidy, but he was never this messy either.

He sits up and runs a hand through his hair, an annoyed expression on his face. The sheets fall to his waist and my eyes roam over his body. It looks like he’s naked and the sheets barely cover him. He looks mad as hell to have been woken up, but his anger drains away once his eyes land on us. He looks at Asher first, and then at Kate.

“Kate,” he says, his voice rough and sleepy. His eyes linger on me for just a few seconds, his expression unreadable. I can’t figure out if he’s even remotely happy to see me. He dismisses me and looks back at Kate. “When did you get here?” he asks. He grabs his jeans from the floor and pulls them on underneath the covers before standing up.

My heart aches at how easily he ignores me. He’s focused entirely on Kate, and it’s like I’m not even here. He hasn’t so much as smiled at me.

“A few minutes ago,” Kate says. She crosses her arms and glares at him. “I told you Milly and I would get here today. Why are you still in bed?”

I look up at him as discreetly as I can. He looks bigger. More muscular and rugged. I’m hit with a familiar sense of longing. My eyes roam over his body and freeze on his lower abdomen. He’s got more than a few kiss marks on his skin and I suddenly feel sick. I bite down on my lip to keep my emotions in check. It feels like someone has stabbed me in the heart and then twisted the knife. It’s been over a year since Carter and I ended things, so why do I still feel this way? I look away, frozen in place.

I breathe in as deeply as I can, my breath hitching. It hurts. He warned me he’d move on, but I guess I was in denial. Carter has done his best to hide his sex life from Kate and me. I always knew, but knowing isn’t the same as seeing. I take a step back and rub my chest as though that’ll soothe my aching heart.

“I thought Asher told you that our orientation is tomorrow. I literally called you last night to make sure you’d be up in time. I can’t believe you’re still in bed,” she says, snapping at him.

Asher clears his throat and puts his hand on Kate’s shoulder. “Come on,” he says. “I’ll show you my room and the rest of the place while Carter gets ready. It won’t take him long.”

Kate glares at Carter one more time and then follows Asher. I trail behind them, not wanting to be left alone with Carter.

“I… uh… I’ll make some coffee,” I say, tipping my head toward the kitchen. I need a moment to pull myself together. Just seeing Carter is so much harder than I thought it would be. It’s like feelings I thought were long gone came rushing back at once. I guess part of me hoped there’d still be something between us. I never got over him, but it seems like he’s definitely moved on. I can’t help but blame myself. I should’ve chosen to be with him while I could.

Kate looks at me worriedly and I smile at her. “Just tired,” I tell her, lying through my teeth. She hesitates, but eventually nods and follows Asher.

I walk around the kitchen numbly, working on autopilot. I don’t snap out of it until Carter walks in. Looks like he didn’t bother getting ready — he’s still in nothing but his jeans, his chest exposed. He leans against one of the counters and studies me curiously.

I push a cup of coffee toward him, a small insincere smile on my face. I’ve been standing here completely spaced out for so long that the coffee is now lukewarm at best. Usually I’d have offered to make him a new cup, but I just don’t have it in me today. My heart feels shattered. Is this what Carter and I have become? Strangers that don’t even say hi anymore?

My eyes drop to the kiss marks on his skin and I’m hit with another flash of pain. He looks down and traces the marks with his fingers, a small frown on his face. I look away and stare at my cup instead.

“Hmm, looks like my friends and I had a bit too much fun last night,” he says, grinning.

I feel sick to my stomach and grit my teeth. “You fuck all your friends?” I ask, my voice harsh and angry. I can’t help it. I promised myself I’d be better than this, but I can’t help myself.

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