Josie and I return the greeting and sit down, me awkwardly across from Jasper and Lily.

“Good morning, favorite niece of mine,” Josie says, smiling as she leans toward Lily.

Lily tilts her head to the side and raises a brow, something she probably learned from Jasper. “Auntie, I’m your only niece.”

“Wonderful! That means I don’t have to share my love with anyone else!”

They continue back and forth. Being an aunt fits perfectly with Josie’s personality. My attention goes to Jasper. He has busied himself with his tablet. I feel like I am staring at a completely different person than the night before, focused, well-dressed, and most of all, handsome. He looks up, catching my eyes. I quickly drop my gaze to the food in front of me and start to grab things to put on my plate.

“Josie, can you pick up Lily after work today? I have to meet a client,” he says after a moment.

Josie finishes chewing her bite of food and gulps it down. “Of course, I can! Lily, Elena, and I can hang out together!”

I glance at Jasper. He clenches his jaw in response to the news. He doesn’t look too happy that I will be hanging out with his daughter. Lily, on the other hand, shouts a hooray.

“Can we go to the park?” she asks.

Josie nods, and creases form at the corner of her eyes as she grins. “Of course! Anything for my favorite niece.”

Lily raises a judgmental brow at her aunt. “Auntie, I thought we talked about this.”

Josie and Jasper laugh at Lily’s statement. A small smile forms on my lips, but I’m still too tired from last night’s events to really put any energy into laughter.

“I think maybe I should go job hunting. But you two can have fun,” I suggest. Jasper meets my gaze, but he looks away quickly.

Josie slaps my arm. “You can do that today while we are at work and Lily is at school. Then I can come home, change, pick you up, and then pick up Lily. You don’t want to wear yourself out. Job applications are exhausting.

“Oh, ok, I suppose that will work. Thank you for including me Josie.” I toy with my food, my appetite suddenly leaving me. It feels awkward getting help. I hate asking for it. Growing up, I was always told to do things on my own and figure it out. I guess that’s what led me here, to being homeless with only a few belongings. I never asked for help in the past, and since I had isolated myself from everyone, help was not readily available. I am glad Josie agreed to take me in when I texted her. She didn’t ask any questions, just if I was okay and then told me to come over pronto. How had I let a friend like that slip through my fingers over the years? I need to do better.

“I’m done!” Lily announces, sticking her fork up in the air. She grabs her plates and hurries to the sink. When she sets her plate and fork in the sink, it makes a loud clang noise, and I jump at the abrupt sound.

“You okay, Lena?” Josie asks, setting a hand on my shoulder.

I peer at her and then Jasper, both of them are staring at me. I give a small nod. “Yeah. Just not completely awake yet.”

“Get your backpack,” Jasper tells Lily as she runs out of the kitchen. “I’ll be done in a few minutes.” He turns to Josie as he starts to stand. “Don’t be late picking her up today. You still have the booster seat in your car?”

Josie scoffs. “Of course! I’m always prepared to pick up Lily, you know me. It takes a village, right?” She peers at me for reassurance, and I agree with her, more just so she doesn’t feel alone in her statement.

“I agree with Miss Josie here,” Sheri interjects as she rinses off the dishes. “I don’t know how I would have raised my two boys if it weren’t for my friends and family. You have to have a support system, or life is just going to wreak havoc on you.”

I take in Sheri’s words. She is right. Everyone needs a good support system, but what happens when that support system is conditional? What if the support system only wants to be there for you as long as you are a slave to it? What happens then? Is that really support?

I run my hands through my hair and squeeze. All day long, I sat on my laptop searching for jobs. There were so many applications and websites to sign up for. I think I spent more time making accounts for all these websites than actually applying for jobs. I only applied for two jobs. That’s when I realized I needed to update my resume and create cover letters for the jobs I was applying for. The resume was easy, just a few changes here and there, since I didn’t do much the last couple years. But the cover letters were more difficult. I still haven’t figured out what to say. How do I applaud myself and explain I am the best for a position, when I think just the opposite?

I dropped out of college my last year, thinking that I could make it helping out Bradley with his work, but then I ended up staying home. I’d had a few part-time jobs here and there, but nothing that stuck. Bradley always had something to say about it interfering with our time together. He hated being apart from me, so whenever I started working more hours, he’d ask me to quit. I’d thought this was sweet at first, but now I realize it wasn’t healthy. None of our relationship was really healthy. Just codependent.

I set the laptop on the bed and stretch my arms. People underestimate the application process. They say those without jobs are lazy. I forgot how intense these applications could be. They want all the same information, but want a cover letter designed specifically for their opening. Some jobs even require a quick exam to show that I am fit for the position. Some even have an exam that is an hour long. Then you have the questionnaire where you either strongly agree or strongly disagree with a hundred plus statements that have been provided. Each application can take an hour or more. This should be considered a job in itself.

I need a break.

I get up and make my way to the kitchen. The monotony of today’s applications makes me hungry. If a job can’t fill this emptiness, food can. I open a few cabinets, learning the layout. I had yet to really explore much of Josie’s kitchen. I find a cabinet full of glasses and grab one. It would be better to drink water for now instead of food. Josie will be home soon, and we will probably eat dinner together. I’m not certain, but I know we will figure it out once she gets here.

I take a sip and look around the guesthouse. The furnishings are beautiful and look like they just came out of a magazine. There are even a bunch of throw pillows. I have never been on a couch with throw pillows. Josie and Jasper weren’t rich growing up, and even though their parents made enough money that they didn’t worry about things like food in their fridge, it wasn’t enough to purchase throw pillows. Clearly, Jasper had the money to spare.

I remember when the money the state gave my foster parents ran out each month. The cabinets would be bare. I’d have to figure out what to cook for the younger kids, being the oldest in the home. I had been an addition more to help raise their kids and other kids like myself than actually to be a child. I guess that’s why Josie’s free spirit drew me in, made me want to hang out with her so much. Maybe that’s why I had been so open to quitting college so that Bradley could take care of me. I was tired of responsibility.

I scoff with a wry smile. Of course, this desire bit me in the ass.