“Daddy! You’re silly. I learned it from you!”
I exhale dramatically. “I guess you’re right.”
I watch her giggle as she grabs a few of her other toys, a miniature pitcher and a net. She is so beautiful with her dark chestnut colored hair. Her eyes remind me of her mother’s, bright and big, always looking at the world with such astonishment, like even the simplest flower has such brilliancy. Caty loved the world, absorbing it, wishing for it to thrive. Maybe that was why she collapsed within herself, decided she needed a break, a break from the world, from her family, from us.
She had taken breaks before, just a day or two to collect herself. It was how she would recuperate. I learned that early on in our relationship, and I accepted it. But things got worse. She would send me a text at work telling me she couldn’t pick up Lily from daycare or just leave Lily alone. I knew Caty could be overwhelmed by the world, but I never thought she would be overwhelmed by our child. I was wrong.
I remembered the time I found her crying in our room. I had gone out to get her food, something she was craving. She pointed to the bathroom where Lily, an infant at the time, had been crying. She begged me to take Lily away, that the crying was too much. She couldn’t handle hearing it, that she had the urge to silence it. That should have been my first sign that things weren’t perfect in our world, but I had been too busy with my company. It was new and finally gaining traction. I didn’t see these signs. More importantly, I ignored Caty’s cries for help and left my daughter in harm’s way. I let down Caty as a husband and Lily as a father.
Chapter Four
Elena
Isigh,wakingupto another long day. I immediately check my phone on my nightstand. There are no missed calls, but I do have a few text messages. I unlock my phone to find six messages from Bradley. He must have finished having his fun because now, his messages are demanding that I return home and letting me know that he doesn’t find this funny anymore. I exit out of the messages, trying not to linger on them too much. I know I can’t ignore him. He won’t just go away. I have to find the courage to face him. To finally tell him to his face that I am done with him and that he can’t control me anymore.
I’m sure he hasn’t been lonely, he has always had a backup plan. Other women are always his backup plan, his go to. But I know when that backup plan no longer satisfies him, he’ll be coming back to me, being more demanding that I return to him. It has always ended up being this way. This constant cycle of promising changes, then going back to the old routines of lies, manipulation, and so much more. I hate this cycle. I hated it the first time he yelled at me. I hated it the first time he hit me, I hated it the first time I caught him cheating. I’m sure he’d done it before, I was just so in love with him that I never noticed.
The abuse happened before I was forced out of Josie’s life. I kept it from her then, we didn’t talk often anyways. However, little by little Bradley made sure I didn’t have anyone to talk to about what was happening. Then I caught him with the first whore for the first time a few years ago, shortly after I stopped talking to Josie. My world came tumbling down. The girl was younger, prettier, what I feared most. It shattered me. Even to this day, that moment hurt me more than any drunk fists or angry words could.
I get up and decide I may as well get dressed. Over the weekend, I spent all my time looking for jobs, even getting a few interviews on the spot, although I left each one with nothing promising. It has been almost a week of searching, applying, and interviewing. How am I to save up money and move out to my own place? I can’t just live here the rest of my life. I doubt Josie even plans to do that either.
I didn’t really get to see Josie, Jasper, or Lily. Now that it’s Monday, they have their routine of eating breakfast together. It feels nice being a part of a tradition, even if I still look in as an outsider.
After checking and taming my disheveled hair in the mirror, I walk over to Josie’s bedroom door and knock. “Josie, time to get up and go to breakfast.”
I hear a groan from behind the door and the stirring of sheets. She curses a few more times before opening the door. She looks at me, her eyes barely open and her hair in complete disarray. “I’m skipping out today. I was called into the hospital last night for an emergency. And we are short-staffed, so I have to be back in later this morning. I want to sleep a few more hours. It’s going to be another long-ass day,” she explains groggily.
Seeing her as a professional physiotherapist still surprises me. I wonder if any of her patients know how chaotic she used to be. The fact that she has control of other humans wellbeing blows my mind. Josie used to complain about school, skip classes, and didn’t like to listen to her professors, yet somehow, she was able to pass with flying colors and now is responsible for making sure these people are able to return to the very best quality of life. “Oh, okay. I’ll let them know,” I tell her.
I walk over to the main house and open the door to the kitchen. Lily immediately greets me with a hug. “Hi Elena! I missed you this weekend.”
I touch her cheek softly as her words warm me. I always imagined I would have a child by now. “Awe. I missed you too,” I tell her.
She releases me and looks back at the guesthouse. “Where’s Auntie Josie? Is she coming?”
I shake my head. “No. She had a long night last night and needs to sleep some more. You know how your auntie gets when she doesn’t get enough sleep.”
Lily nods slowly. “Oh, I know,” she says as she makes her way back to the seat next to Jasper.
He keeps his gaze on the tablet in front of him, I am noticing this seems to be a usual morning routine. I am uncertain of what he is doing, but I can only assume he is reviewing his schedule for the day. I sit down across from Lily and start to pile some fruit onto my plate.
Sheri sets a basket of biscuits between us. “Do you want butter, jam or both?”
“Jam,” both Lily and I say simultaneously.
I smile as she giggles. “Jinx!” she bellows. “You owe me a coke.”
“You know you’re not supposed to have soda,” Jasper interrupts, his eyes never leaving the tablet.
I give her a small wink and mouth the words, “Maybe later.” She nods and pulls a biscuit from the basket. I really did enjoy my time with Lily. She is a sweet girl. She reminds me a lot of myself, independent and a little lonely.
Sheri sets a jar and knife between us and asks, “Want some help with that, little lady?”
“I got it. Thanks, Sheri,” Lily answers.
We all watch as Lily sticks out her tongue as she scoops some jam with a butter knife and slowly begins spreading it on her biscuit. She does it quite well, only dropping a few clumps onto the table. I set my biscuit on her plate. “Will you do mine for me? You do it so well,” I say.
Her answering smile lights up her eyes. “Sure!” She picks up my biscuit and repeats the process, slow and meticulous.