Page 116 of Sugar Rush

“Darlin’, I beg to differ.You have spent yourentiretime here making me things.The brownies.The pancakes.The almond cookies.”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

He sat on the edge of the bed.“Open it.”

I carefully unwrapped the pretty red paper.A little cardinal bird fell into my hands, perfectly carved, smooth as butter under my fingers.It was so perfect it could have spread its wings and flown off my hand.A little hole had been carved in the bottom, the edges perfectly curved and smooth.

“Rick!This is stunning!”

“So you remember our little part of the world.And one more thing-” He went back to the bag, took out a long, thin parcel.I unwrapped it to find a wooden spoon.After I exclaimed over its craftsmanship, he showed me how the bird slotted on top of the spoon.“Thought it’d be better if you could take ‘em apart.For cleaning.”

It was almost too beautiful to use, but I didn’t say that.

Instead, I crawled over to him and climbed into his lap.

He held me for the longest time as I listened to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat under my ear.

And I tried to only enjoy him, and not think about how distance, time zones and work schedules and the emotional detritus of life might erode our closeness.

When I woke in the wee hours, Rick’s side of the bed was empty.I swung my feet to the floor.Moonlight bathed the little seating area of the suite, and I found him sitting on the couch, looking out over the city, naked save for his gray boxers.

“Hey.”

He looked up as I approached.“Hey.”He reached for my hand and pulled me onto his lap.

“Couldn’t sleep?”I asked, nuzzling into him.I’d put on his t-shirt before going to sleep and the material was pliable and warm between his body and mine.His heart was beating a fast tattoo.

“Bad dream.”

“You want to talk about it?”

He was quiet for a long moment, and then he settled his cheek on the top of my head.“It’s not really one narrative.More, I just get to relive snatches of things I wish I’d done differently.Moments when men from my unit were lost, or when they received life-changing injuries.”

“I’m sorry.”

He kissed my hair.“I’m working through it in the group.Guy who runs it’s an Operation Desert Storm/Shield vet, so he gets it.I’m gonna keep going.”

“Good.”

His heartbeat had slowed.I kept my hand there, feeling the drumbeat of it, wondering how it would feel to be an ocean away from him.

It was ridiculous, really.I hadn’t even known he existed until around four weeks ago.I’d been in his company only twenty days.

Even so, when I left, I’d be carving off a piece of my heart and leaving it Stateside.

“We should go back to bed,” he rumbled.“You’ve got a long enough journey ahead as it is, without bein’ exhausted durin’ it.”

I shifted out of his hold so I could lift my head and kiss him.“It’s late enough that I would rather stay awake and be with you than sleep more.Make love to me, Rick.”

He scooped me up and carried me to the bed.“You know, it was the first time I carried you that I knew I was toast.”

I frowned as he lowered me.“Really?After the airport?”

He chuckled, moving to brace himself over me, caging me in, leaning on his forearms.The moonlight from the big window picked out the pale copper in his dark blond hair.“Yeah.I tried to wake you up, figured I shouldn’t start raisin’ my voice in the middle of the night, carried you upstairs.It’d been a long time since I’d held anyone like that.”

I slid my hands over his back, gently pushed until his lower body rested flush against mine.He was hot and heavy right where I needed him, and I luxuriated in the sensation.

“I don’t remember much about it, but you made me feel safe.The days before I flew here were erratic, so Ilovedthat.”I cupped his face, stroked my thumb over his bottom lip.He pressed a kiss there.

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