Page 121 of Giovanna

“Okay…well, I don’t think love is on the cards for us. He’s funny and charming, but he doesn’t want to be married to me any more than I want to be married to him. He um…doesn’t do monogamy and I’m quite keen on it.”

Sandy takes it in and thinks quietly for a few minutes. “You’re in love with someone else,” he states.

Shit. What if he asks me who it is? I exhale. “Yes. But they don’t feel the same way so it doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll have a word to Elio about monogamy,” he states.

“Um, thanks. But I won’t hold out too much hope,” I shrug.

I get Sandy out of the pool and onto the outdoor lounge suite. He rests his head back and soaks in the sun's rays.

“Can I get you anything?” I ask.

“Just a cold glass of water, thanks,bella.”

Fuck. I was hoping he would say he didn’t need anything. Now I’m going to have to go into the house and see Giovanna.

I wrap myself in a towel, cross the patio, and jog up the few stairs toward the house. I’m nearly at the wide open threshold, but obscured by a potted palm tree, when I hear my name mentioned.

“Why the fuck do you care how Francesca is? You said it was just sex.” Massimo’s voice is angry and defensive.

I pause, remaining behind the palm fronds.

“It isn’t for you to ask why, little brother! If I ask you a question just fucking answer it,” Giovanna is even angrier.

“Okay, You wanna know? She’s barely sleeping and eating. She won’t talk to anyone except Dad when she’s doing his rehab. She’s like a scared fuckin’ animal who thinks everyone is going to hurt her. So stay the fuck away from her because I swear to God if one more of my dickhead siblings hurts her I’m going to lose it.”

Huh. I thought I was doing a good job of concealing how much pain I am in. Apparently not.

An awkward silence descends over the room and I emerge from behind the palm to enter the house just as Giovanna decides to respond. “Jesus Christ, Massimo. We just fucked. It’s not my fault that she’s a stage 5 clinger. She means nothing to me beyond needing to get her and Elio down the aisle.”

Massimo and Bluey are staring horrified at me. I’m a few steps inside the house and I’ve frozen. Every one of her words has sliced through me and buried its way into my heart. My knees want to give out, but I force myself to stand up straight.

I rush past them into the kitchen and grab a glass. I’m vaguely aware of Giovanna saying my name, but I just shut her out. I’m dead inside. She has killed me.

I carry the glass out to Sandy and then with as much dignity as I can manage I walk past them all to go upstairs pausing only to ask Massimo to tell his mum that Sandy is finished in the pool.

Tucked into a ball on the floor of my shower, I finally allow myself to cry. I’ve never been hurt by words so much in my life. I’m so pathetically desperate to be loved by her that I’ve left myself raw and exposed to being hurt.

The door creaks open and Massimo crouches down next to the shower.

“Oh Ches,” he sighs. “I wish you didn’t hear that.

I shake my head. “Better to know the truth.”

He takes a deep breath and looks like he is battling himself over what he should say. “It’s not the truth though. Not even close. You know that.”

“No, I don’t. She’s been more cruel to me than Elio ever has. The difference is that I’m not in love with Elio.” A new wave of sobs wracks my body and I’m too distraught to even think about the fact that I’m naked and crying on the floor of the shower in front of Massi.

He rubs a massive hand over his face. “What a mother fuckin’ shambles. Come on, babe. Let’s get you out of there.”

He turns off the shower and holds up a fluffy white towel. After gathering me up off the floor, he flicks the toilet lid down and sits on it, pulling me between his legs so he can dry me off.

“Lucky I’m gay. Imagine the dramas if you had to deal with me as well,” he teases.

“It would be easy if you weren’t gay. I’d have married you already and avoided all this bullshit,” I murmur.

“True,” he agrees softly.

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