Last night I’d been tense, and I’d snuck out of the fence to take a long walk. I hadn’t come back until the sun was well over the horizon, and all I’d found waiting for me was Summer and Lucan. They’d been to the market already and were curious as to why I hadn’t, but other than that they were fine.
Everything was fine. All was as it should have been. As it should be.
Kaiden, Dex, Umber, and Zander were gone, and I’d left the village, and everything was fine.
Ever since I realized that, my mind had been racing with a single solitary thought. A thought that had always lingered somewhere in my consciousness, but until now I never allowed myself to truly entertain it.
I wondered what would happen if I left.
Not if the men took me with them, but if I left. On my own. Without a word or announcement. If I simply gathered what little belongings I had and started off in whatever direction felt right to me at the time.
My mother and father had taken the time to teach us what little they knew about the world. West of here was a mountain range that was rumored to stretch all along the horizon, bordered at the north and south by tall peaks and dormant volcanoes. To the east was the wastelands where there were rumored Skepna villages, and beyond that was the sea. Across it was said to be cursed lands filled with shapeshifters, monsters, and warring tribes that would probably take me hostage or worse.
I swallowed, turning north to where I knew the ruins of a Kavari city were. From what I’d gathered in Kaiden’s letters, if I went there, I’d find Esme.
And what would I do then?
I struggled to come up with an answer, finally settling on the thought that there was really no good reason for me to leave. Perhaps there wasn’t a compelling reason to stay, especially knowing what Kaiden and the others had planned for me when they returned, but leaving offered fewer benefits than staying where I was.
And if things went as planned, the Kavari who claimed me would eventually meet up with the rest of their tribe. After that, they’d march to their city and take it back from that vile king. I was certain they planned to take me with them then, so either way, I’d see Esme and my nephew at some point.
There was no reason to rush that reunion. Not when I wasn’t sure of what to say when it happened.
I let out a long sigh and turned toward the barracks. There was one stall that stayed open in the market most of the day if I got hungry and needed more than the bread and dried fruit I kept near my bed. I expected my men would be back tomorrow, if not today, and I probably should get some rest before they returned.
My chest tightened when I realized how I’d referred to the four of them. My men. My men.
They weren’t. Not yet.
Even if I was slowly becoming theirs.
The barracks were empty when I walked through the door, and I sighed in relief, not wanting to explain my exhaustion when it was barely midday. My bed was calling, and when I pulled my sheets back, I reached under the pillow to find the letter Kaiden had left with me. The one with the picture of Esme and the baby. I wanted to look at it again, like I had nearly every day since I got it. It was a gauge of sorts to see how I was feeling. If my thoughts had changed from anger to softness. From fear to longing. From nervousness to hope at the thought of seeing my sister again.
But my fingers found nothing but cool sheets when I searched, and when I tossed the pillow aside, I sucked in a breath.
The letter and all the scraps of paper I’d stashed there were gone.
“That’s the one.”
I spun so fast my hair whipped around my shoulders, every muscle in my body coiled and ready to spring. Behind me stood purple-clad soldiers, all glaring in my direction. One of them, the captain I’d seen Kaiden talking to a few times, was at the head of the pack, but Hoval stood at his shoulder. I could see amusement dancing in his eyes despite the scowl on his face.
“You’re certain?” the leader asked, and Hoval nodded.
“I am. That is your traitor’s woman.”
The Kavari captain sneered at me then held up his hand, and my eyes widened when I saw the papers clenched in his fist. All the scraps Kaiden had saved for me, along with the hand-drawn picture of Esme. Angry heat rushed through my whole body, and I balled my hands into fists.
“You had no right to search—”
“We have every right if it means keeping the village safe.” Hoval stepped out from behind the protection of the Kavari leader, gesturing angrily at me with a long, gnarled finger. “You would lead traitors back to our village. Traitors who turned on their king and plan to usurp—”
“If you expect me to believe you’re concerned about what happens to that king or to any of the Kavari, you’re an even bigger fool than I thought.”
I moved toward my bed, reaching for the dagger I kept hidden in a notch in the wood. One small enough that I hoped they’d missed it when they searched my things.
But my fingers found nothing, and I’d abandoned wearing weapons under my skirts, thinking I was safe from anything like this.
Because Kaiden told me I was.