Page 213 of Filthy Royal

Before, at least, she’d existed in this same galaxy. Four planetary rotations ago, he’d known she was out there, living her life, looking at the same swirling stars and planets. What’s more, he’d never lost the belief that he’d see her again. Touch her again—in anger, pain, or need. A part of him had always known he’d find an excuse to make his way back to her.

But this…

His mind staggered away from the doc’s words.

This looming abyss was more than he could bear.

He’d always believed he was strong, but he didn’t know how to be strong enough to handle this.

He could not lose her.

She was his axis. His light and his colors. His heart and his soul and his breath.

And without her? There was only darkness.

He’d wanted to give her the world. The galaxy. The universe. To put her on a pedestal and worship at her perfect feet. To take away all her burdens and make her life easy. To be her guard and gatekeeper. Her Alpha, her shield, and her protector. He’d wanted to make her scream with pleasure and then laugh just as loud.

Always and forever.

He’d wanted it all.

Chest rising and falling fast, he scurried backward until his spine struck the wall. He sat there, blinking wildly as the pressure on his chest increased.

Elbows planted on his knees and head between his arms, he tried to catch his breath.

He needed to get up. Fight. Swing at something. Talk to the doc. Make a plan. Be there when Scarlett awoke.

But he couldn’t seem to make himself move.

He’d been a youngling when their father was cut down in front of him. Then, only a few planetary rotations later, he’d watched their mother burn, grieved the twins, witnessed Nikolai and Maxheim grow harder as they struggled to keep the family alive, endured when his brother Alexi was taken and then returned to them a different male. And through it all, he’d been too small, too useless to do anything about any of it. So he’d grown up and vowed never to be powerless like that again. To battle anything and everything that threatened those he loved.

But how the fuck was he supposed to fight this? The very body of the female he loved and worshiped, the very body that made him crazed with lust and tenderness and possession, was the same body that threatened to take away what mattered to him most.

Crushing pain stomped on his chest. Darkness pressed in.

Damien fought to raise his hands to swipe at it, to battle it away, but for once, his fists wouldn’t rise, his body wouldn’t take the bait.

When he needed to be strong for her, he was weaker than he’d ever been.

“Take a deep breath.” A body slid into a seated position beside him, mirroring his pose. Another took up sentry at his other shoulder. One more crouched in front of him.

He was so lost in whatever the fuck this was that he hadn’t even noticed their approach.

But now, he felt them: solid, comforting, steady. His brothers’ strength. Surrounding him. There for him, as it had always been. He’d worked so hard to prove to them that he was as tough as them, that he wasn’t the damned kid everyone had to worry over, but right now, he didn’t give a shit about any of that. Right now, all he wanted was for them to make everything okay.

“I can’t lose her.” His voice emerged as a croak.

“We’re here for you.” Nikolai gripped his shoulder.

“We’re not going anywhere.” Maxheim settled in close.

There was no pretense. No promise they could save the situation and make everything turn out okay. And yet, oddly, it helped. It didn’t make Damien feel better, but it did give him the courage to turn the horrific pressure on his chest into words.

“How can I watch the most important thing in my life slip away? I already lost her once. I-I don’t think I can bear it.” He knocked his head back against the wall and found the strength to face them despite the telltale wetness around his eyes and grimace of agony on his face.

Him ripped apart. Exposed.

But when he stared into his brothers’ eyes, he saw the same pain, the same weaknesses, the same anguish that was in his chest, and it was suddenly so clear that there’d never been any need to prove anything to them. They were there for him one hundred percent, whether he was the baddest Enforcer around or the weakest, most broken, lovelorn soul in the galaxy. They’d each had their demons, their pain, and his brothers knew exactly how much joy and peace the omegas in their lives brought, how critical they were to their very being. Which meant they knew just how badly it would destroy Damien to lose Scarlett.

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