Page 159 of Filthy Royal

She stared up at him, at the ferocity stamped on his face, wondering how, after all those nights of pain and longing, her dreams had somehow become real.

But dreams were just that for a reason.

“Damien…”

His hand cupped her jaw. “You are so beautiful, and I missed you every damned moment we were apart.”

Her heart turned over on itself.

“I know you’re scared, baby.” He ran a thumb across her cheekbone. “But it’s going to be okay.”

She already knew that wasn’t true.

“You like it here?” He gestured toward their surroundings but never once looked away or lifted his other hand from her cheek. “I think it’s fitting.” A teasing smile broke out on his face. “I mean, we need to get clean, but it’s also symbolic, so don’t let anyone tell you you’ve bonded to a total Alphahole fighter. I’ve got depth.” He winked. “And girth.”

She laughed.

It was outrageous and unexpected, and such a Damien thing to say, and she knew exactly why he was doing it. To lighten the mood. He’d done that when they were together before, when she was nervous about the tournament or his fights, and it had always worked then. Clearly, it worked now too.

She was exhausted, scraped raw by the honesty of their last exchange, and well aware they’d barely scratched the surface of what she needed to share, but he’d still found a way to get her lips tilting upward before she could stop them.

Was it any wonder she was still truly, madly, deeply in love with him?

There was no one like this male in the entire galaxy. Playful one moment, beyond sweet and romantic the next, and filthy and ferocious the rest of the time.

Goddess, she’d missed him.

But that didn’t mean she could have him, no matter how badly she wanted it. No matter how much she wished to begin again.

Scarlett took a step back. “Damien—”

“No.” The teasing light left his gaze. “I recognize that tone, and the answer’s no. We are not going there. Not ever again.” He stepped closer. “All I want to do now is hold my girl.”

“But I’m not that girl anymore.” She took another step back.

“Then I’ll learn all the ways I like this new you.” He advanced, his voice going low. “And we both know, no matter how much everything around us changes, when we’re here, like this, you’llalwaysbe my good girl.”

Her shiver at his words, the weakening of what she knew was right, only reinforced that she needed to bring this to a close. “You don’t understand.”

“I think you’re the one who’s missing what’s happening here.” Damien reached for her.

She threw her palms up and out. “I-I’m a monster.” The confession, left to rattle inside her chest for so long, finally surged free as she stumbled back another step. “Like Crex, Like Darvish.”

“You’re nothing like them.” He came at her and wrapped his hands around her shoulders.

“I am.” She shoved at his chest. “Just as bad.”

He didn’t even rock back a little. “You are not a fucking monster.”

Scarlett struggled in his hold. “You don’t know. You won’t let me tell you everything.”

“So tell me.”

Oh gods. Oh gods.She’d dreaded this moment for so long. “I… I’ve killed.”

Again, he didn’t even flinch. “Egan?” He clarified, proving he’d been listening. “You killed your handler, Egan, when he tried to rape you, right? Good. Fucker deserved it—and thank the Goddess for your gift.”

Gaze shifting away, she forced out the rest. “Not just him.” Her eyes filled. “Others.”

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