Page 38 of My Fake Lover

»I don’t know why we’d owe anyone an explanation besides Ian and Lizzy,« I replied, relaxed. But inside, it was a different story. That’s why I kept my distance from people. Because they stuck their noses in things that were none of their business far too often.

As if on cue, Ian and Lizzy came laughing to our table. »So, what did you think?« Lizzy asked excitedly. Happiness was written in rosy signs on her cheeks.

»Oh, it was wonderful!« Chloe cooed, and I suppressed an eye roll. »You look absolutely enchanting, but I already told you that.«

Ian immediately noticed the tense atmosphere. One could say a lot about my brother – that he was a dreamer or unreliable – but he was the most sensitive person I knew. »What’s going on?« he asked me quietly, and I wasn’t sure whether I should really drag the two of them into this annoying matter.

»Nothing.«

Chloe listened intently. »Ian, don’t you find it strange that no one has ever seen Max with a woman, and suddenly he brings his great love, whom he’s only known for a short time, to your wedding?« Ian furrowed his brow. I could tell that he found Chloe’s statement as unappealing as I did. »Christian heard something, and we were wondering if it’s true.«

»I must have misheard,« he mumbled quickly. Spineless. He had a suspicion and couldn’t stand by it.

»Go ahead, say what you suspect so we don’t bother Ian and Lizzy any longer and they can enjoy their wedding celebration,« I replied, bored, waving my hand in the air.

Christian began to speak, but Chloe gave him no time. »It’s all an act! Max and Ivy aren’t a couple; they’ve made fools of us all, especially you two!« Her voice trembled, and I wondered if she was really still so vindictive and hurt because I had rejected her. Yes, Chloe was a woman from a wealthy family who had always gotten what she wanted. But even I hadn’t expected her to ruin her cousin’s wedding out of revenge.

Every eye was on me, but Ian’s gaze burned the most intensely. I could have gotten tangled up in explanations at this point, trying to somehow soften the blow, or I could simply admit it and stand by it. I hated lies. We had spent our entire childhood lying, and I had sworn never to become like our parents.

»It was my idea, Ivy has nothing to do with it. But yes, our relationship is not real, it was and is all an act.«

Ian furrowed his brows, and Lizzy took his hand. I had never seen him so angry before. Normally, I was the sensible one, always having to forgive Ian again and again. But this time, the roles were reversed.

»You’ve been lying to us? The whole time?« His voice trembled, and I slowly nodded. »I don’t believe you, everyone can see what you feel for each other. You’re only fooling yourself, but what may have started as a fake has evolved.«

I clenched my jaws and let his words seep into my brain for a moment. »No, Ian. It started as a deal and will end as a deal.« My voice was cold, and even I was surprised by the intensity of my words. Perhaps this realization had been missing all along, but now I knew. I couldn’t keep Ivy away from a life she deserved. No one should have to drag me along as dead weight. A guy who had trouble admitting even the slightest spark of emotion. Ivy was full of light, full of feeling, and full of passion. She needed a partner who complemented her, not one who dragged her down into darkness.

A grin spread across Chloe’s face, and she fixed her gaze on something – or someone – behind my back. I knew that with this statement, I had ruined it once and for all with Ivy. Even if it was for the better, it felt like someone had removed my heart from my chest with a blunt razor blade.

Slowly, I stood up and turned around. Ivy’s gaze was frozen as if someone had removed her batteries. I couldn’t describe how wrong it felt that I had to hurt her like this. But deep down, we both knew what our relationship was leading to. It was better to get it over with now before someone really developed deep feelings for the other.

»I had to tell them.« My voice was soft and weak, a pitiful attempt at an explanation, unfair and cutting. Ivy had treated me well all this time, trusted me. And all I, the asshole, could think of was to stab her in the back when she couldn’t defend herself.

»Of course you had to,« she replied bitterly, but never looked at me once. »After all, you never lie.« Her gaze was fixed on the floor, and I wished I could see the radiance she had given me over the last few days just one more time. To feel once more what it felt like when my heart beat with just one glance, one single laugh. She had every right to be angry. Of course, I had to tell the truth now, but I had actually started our visit here with a lie and had not been true to myself. How could I continue with a clear conscience now? I had to stop it. Now.

Lizzy approached Ivy, whispered something to her, and turned to Chloe. »Have you gotten what you wanted now? I want you to leave our wedding immediately!«

Chloe looked surprised and took a deep breath. »Excuse me? The two of them lied to everyone!«

»Your envy will eventually consume you and make your exterior as ugly as you are inside.« Wow, I had never seen Lizzy like this before. Gently, she pulled Ivy behind her, and the two disappeared into Ian and Lizzy’s tent. I could hardly breathe as Ivy vanished from my sight.

»And you come too,« said Ian, turning away. I followed him into the barn. It felt wrong to return to this place now. The last time, Ivy and I had really grown closer here. We had exposed ourselves to each other in a way that was more than just sex.

This time, it was Ian who sat in the driver’s seat. I slid into the passenger seat and suppressed a sigh. The hole inside me grew larger with each passing second. It devoured everything it could find, leaving behind guilt, pain, devastation, and loss.

»You’re a real idiot,« my brother said, and I couldn’t deny his statement. I probably would have called myself worse. »Why did you do it?«

»I didn’t want to disappoint you. I know you worry because I’m still alone, and I wanted to spare you those worries on your wedding day,« I replied honestly.

»We’re brothers, and we’ve damn well always been on our own. It’s natural for us to worry about each other. You didn’t have to lie to me.«

»I know,« I sighed. »I’m sorry.«

»But the worst part is that you’re lying to yourself.« He was right. I knew it all too well. Still, I couldn’t change who I was. »You’re lying to yourself and hurting the only woman you’ve ever truly loved. You’re more than an idiot. A lovesick idiot.« When I glanced up, I saw Ian’s grin. »You’re completely smitten, and instead of owning it, you break your own heart and Ivy’s along with it. You two are crazy about each other, anyone can see that. Screw Chloe, that venomous snake! I’m glad my girl finally saw that fake serpent for who she is. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have invited her, and I’m glad you turned her down back then.«

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. »I’m scared, Ian.« Damn it, I had never said it before, but I had to now. »I’m scared of becoming like our useless father. Scared that I’m too messed up for Ivy and that she won’t be happy with me. I’m complicated, moody, and emotionless.«

»You’re not emotionless, big brother. I won’t argue with the other points, but you feel more than many others.« Ian placed his hand on my shoulder, and I looked at him. »No matter what you think of yourself, Ivy turns everything around. With her, you’re happy and bursting with love. It’s almost disgusting!« We both laughed, but mine died away immediately.

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