Ian fiddled with a padlock and then slid one of the doors aside. A dust cloud blew out of the dark interior, and I squinted and turned away for a moment as it stole my breath.
»This is my thank you. For everything.« Ian pointed inside, and I took a step forward before he caught up and stepped on something hidden under a white tarp.
»What is this supposed to be?« I asked, and Ian’s grin only grew wider.
»Are you ready?«
»I’m not sure,« I said, and Ian pulled the tarp aside anyway. The shiny chrome paint was the first thing I saw. A rusty grille, four round headlights, a scratch on the hood.
»A Buick Riviera,« I said, and my surprise was followed by laughter. »Where did you get this old clunker?« I walked over and ran my hand flat over the paint.
»It’s your old clunker.«
I looked up, and Ian nodded encouragingly. »That’s right.«
»My Buick?« I looked over the car again. The worn steering wheel, a dark stain on the bench seat that seemed more than familiar to me. »That’s impossible,« I muttered and opened the driver’s door before sliding onto the seat. Reverently, I ran my hand over the dashboard. Ian sat down beside me and rested his arm on the side window.
»Pretty cool, huh?«
»This is just a replica, right? A pretty good one, you even got the stain just right.«
»No, Max. It’s your old car, I swear! Did you know that old Mrs. Fleming snatched it up when we...« He didn’t finish, but I knew which day he was referring to. And I never wanted to think about it again. »She kept it for us until we returned. Can you believe it?«
I pressed my lips together, not knowing what to say. »Why were you at our old house?«
Ian sighed. »Lizzy thought it would be a good idea. To find closure.«
I stared at the steering wheel, trying to control my breathing. Every now and then, that feeling from the past would haunt me again. Over the years, it had weakened and occurred less frequently, but it was still there. Deep inside me, it clung and rattled its bars. »It felt kind of good going back there. You should try it too, so that...«
»Stop.« Silence spread between us. I had no idea if it was good that Ian was processing our past in this way, but my path was different. Suppression remained undisputedly in first place.
Ian leaned forward and opened the glove compartment. He produced two cans of beer. »Even the old cooler still works,« he said, handing me one. I held it in one hand, following some condensation droplets with my eyes. A disbelieving laugh escaped my throat.
»Beer. Hopefully not from eleven years ago.«
»No!« Ian laughed, and finally, the atmosphere wasn’t dampened by old memories anymore. »I put new ones in last week. Listen, I wanted to show you the Buick on the first night, but it didn’t feel right then. Think of it as your island to retreat to when things get too stressful here, okay?« My brother knew me better than I had assumed. »And of course, you can take it with you when you go. It’s your car.«
»Keep it,« I said, opening the can and holding it out to him. Ian clinked his against mine. »It fits better here than in a New York parking garage. Show it to your kids.«
»Thank you,« he replied softly, as in the end, it wasn’t just about the car. I was sure I had finally accepted that Ian was with Lizzy and that she had helped him more than I ever could have. Maybe I hadn’t only been worried that Ian could relapse... I realized I had been jealous.
As we took a sip, we sealed our new vow. This car shouldn’t be burdened with old memories; it deserved to create new ones. Beautiful ones.
»And of course, I’ll be your best man,« I said, and Ian let out a happy gasp.
»I knew you’d pull through,« he said, and when I looked at him, his grin was wider than in the days following my arrival. He deserved to finally be happy.
I nodded towards the glove compartment. »I hope there’s enough beer in there to get me through your extravagant wedding?«
He laughed. »It’s a bit big, isn’t it?«
»Minimally.«
Ian sighed, but not without a smile on his lips. He leaned his head against the headrest. »Lizzy had this crazy dream, and after that, there was no stopping her. I would do anything for her to be happy. Even wear white linen suits for a week.« He looked down at himself, and I couldn’t help but laugh as well.
»That’s the hardest part of it all, right?«
»You have no idea how hard.« His gaze wandered into the distance as we sat in the Buick of our youth, drinking canned beer like old times. »But I love her so much that it almost hurts. She’s the one.« He looked at me, and I recognized the truth in his eyes. »My heart races just thinking about her being gone, you know?«