Page 46 of Finding New Dreams

Wincing, I nodded. I’d hoped against instinct that I was wrong. That would’ve meant that maybe he wasn’t just a serial dater or player.

Plus, his choice of prize had sent shivers of desire through my body.

“Well, my last relationship ended right at the six-month mark…when I proposed.”

My eyes widened, and I almost reached for him again but held back. Again.

Flynn continued, “Nobody knows that but me, her, my agent, and now you.”

“What happened?”

“Lorraine and I knew each other for a few years, always hung out in the same circles. She wasn’t an artist, just a fan. We started dating about a year ago, even moved in together. I’d never been in a serious relationship before, and I thought it was going great. So I thought I’d propose on our six-month anniversary.” His lips twisted in a bitter smirk. “She laughed. Then was horrified I wasn’t joking. Turns out she’d never thought of us as serious. Said I’d never be able to hack it in a long-term, committed relationship. She sure couldn’t. She’d already been planning her exit. Found her next fun guy, too.”

My heart ached for him. “I’m sorry, Flynn. That must’ve been terrible.”

He shrugged. “If I didn’t want people to see me that way, then I shouldn’t have worked so hard on that reputation.”

I chewed on my lip. “Was that about the same time that you stopped painting?”

His eyes met mine over the few feet of space between us, but the heat in them made him feel much closer. “Yes.”

“That makes sense. A broken heart and all.”

“Broken? I wouldn’t say that. I have no residual feelings for her. I’m not even sure that I loved her. It was more like…for once in my life, I wanted something I could count on. I’ve always felt somewhat adrift in my life, and I liked it that way. Especially since it was the opposite of what my parents wanted. No future mayor here,” he added with a wink.

I smiled. “No, I can’t really see you presiding over town committees and settling voting disputes over who had the best cardigan at the Casseroles, Crafts, and Cardigans event.”

“Oh, man, they still do that one? Best holiday party ever. Where else can you eat tater tot casserole and create a scrapbook while wearing your most impressive cardigan?”

We both laughed.

Then I grew serious again. “I know what you mean though, about having something to count on. As a foster kid, stability was pretty hard to come by. I’m sure that’s part of the reason for my list. The other part—” I drew in a deep breath and looked past him to the rain dripping down the window. “The other part was because of a guy. One I met in art school in New York.

“His name was Ian. He was hot, popular, and could smooth-talk his way around anything—bad grades, misdemeanors, my better judgment. He was the bad boy from all the romcoms, and every girl wanted him. But he wanted me. I couldn’t believe my luck. I’d never really had a boyfriend before. One in high school, who was more a boyfriend of convenience than of romance.

“Anyway, I ignored all the signs at first and accepted his excuses. He’d forgotten his phone. That girl was lying. That cop was just out to get him. I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and he never wanted to let me go.” I sighed, the memories washing over me. But thankfully time had numbed me to them. “When I caught him having sex with one of the girls he’d repeatedly lied about, I wasn’t even that surprised. But that didn’t stop it from being one of the more painful moments of my life.”

I risked a glance at Flynn. His gaze hadn’t wavered from me, and his features were like stone.

I hurried to wrap it up. “One of the ways I made my peace with the whole mess was to start a list of what I really wanted in a man and a relationship. That I’d never be taken in by pretty words or a pretty face again. That while my fantasies and my art and my books are safe places to dream, real life needs rules. Stability, like you wanted.”

“Yet you still included ‘gives me the romance of a lifetime’?”

“Well, yeah, a girl can dream. My parents have that kind of relationship. My dad still brings my mom little gifts on random days, like her favorite raspberry macarons or a handful of flowers he picked from their garden. She sings for him at night and watches his old TV shows with him.”

His warm smile chased away the cold remnants of memory. “They sound lovely.”

“They are. And I want that. I also want that feeling of being the center of someone’s universe. Being sought after. For real this time.”

The air changed as Flynn leaned toward me. His voice deepened. “You want a man who can’t resist you from the moment he lays eyes on you. Like gravity. He’s the earth and you’re the sun; he’s the tide and you’re the moon. A man who can’t keep his mind off you because he knows how perfectly you fit in his arms. Who knows how sweet the taste of your kiss is. Who craves the feeling of what it’s like to be the center of your universe.”

I wasn’t breathing. My heart wasn’t beating. My cold-butter emotions from earlier had melted into the most glorious, golden warmth that spread through my body.

He was so much closer. Or I was. All I felt was his heat, his breath. My skin yearned for his touch.

“That kind of man?” he whispered against my lips.

My eyes fluttered shut. “Yes,” I whispered raggedly, my breaths coming back in soft gasps. My heart suddenly felt like a wild thing, charging around my body.

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