Flynn listened through to the end, grunting in certain places so that I knew he was still listening. After I finished, there were a few beats of silence, which I measured by the ticking of the office wall clock.
“That’s why you stopped drumming,” he finally said.
“That’s your takeaway, really?” I couldn’t help the bitterness that colored my tone. I’d been holding onto it for so long, for him leaving me in that position, even though I knew it wasn’t entirely his fault.
“Of course that’s not my whole takeaway, Chloe,” he said gently. “I’m processing. I just always wondered why you gave it up. You were so good the few times I heard you practicing with your friends. I thought maybe you’d be a kind of artist like me. You know, express your emotions through music like I do with art.”
My throat tightened. “I like my job, Flynn. I’m good at it.”
“I know you are, Chloe. I’m not saying that. Ugh, I’m not good at this stuff. You know that. Okay, let’s give this a shot: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you in a shitty situation and for not being a better brother when you needed me to be.” There was a pause, then he added so quietly, I didn’t think I was meant to hear: “You were always the strong one.”
My throat tightened further until it felt like I’d swallowed a hammer. “I’m not mad, Flynn. Well, not anymore. Sad, yes. Bitter, maybe. Missing you, terribly. You were a good big brother. Not the best,” I said with a teasing laugh that barely made it out of my constricted throat. “But I love you. And I think it’d be amazing if you came home.”
He let loose a relieved breath. “Thanks, sis. Now, can we be done with the sappy stuff and move on to how I’m possibly going to survive the move from LA to Minnesota?”
I laughed, more easily this time. We talked for a few minutes then said goodbye. A weight that I hadn’t even known I was carrying had been lifted away from me. Maybe I should’ve had that talk with Flynn a long time ago, but it’d never seemed like the right time. Or maybe I hadn’t been ready until now. Something about being as happy as I’d been the last few days made me want to push off anything weighing me down. Anything that kept me from soaring to the heavens. And I felt like I finally had the courage to do it.
Right at that moment, Hunter poked his head into my office, his tousled golden-brown hair falling over his forehead, wearing a tender smile that was only ever directed at me. “Hey, you want to take a break?”
“Sure.” I stood up, tucking my phone in my pocket. “I was thinking we could order some takeout and eat at the park with Arwen.”
His face brightened. “Monty’s?”
“Of course.” I grabbed my jacket and locked the office behind me.
“Great, because there are some bomb pancakes I want you to try.”
We picked up Arwen and got our takeout. Choosing a park bench near the playground, we ate our lunch. Arwen waited with patient blue eyes and a quivering nose until Hunter slipped a sausage to her. He pulled out his phone to take a picture of her gobbling it down. A thought crossed my mind like a passing storm cloud. What would become of Arwen once Hunter was gone? She’d be heartbroken. But maybe he wouldn’t leave. Maybe.
I glanced at him, munching on his pancakes and rubbing behind Arwen’s ears. Was I getting too attached? Should I be asking more questions like Sarah seemed to think?
Frowning, I picked a chocolate chip off my pancakes and melted it on my tongue. Asking questions could lead to answers I wouldn’t like. I could lose what I had. We had less than a week before the stipulation was resolved.
If I were being totally honest, a thread of desperation was starting to stitch itself into my thoughts. I kissed Hunter a little harder and held onto him a little longer before falling asleep. I could’ve sworn he’d been doing the same the last couple of nights as well. I’d woken last night to find him staring off into the darkness, absently caressing my hand, a worried frown dragging his lips down. I’d said nothing about it and pretended to stay asleep. But sleep had evaded me.
“Do you like the pancakes?” Hunter’s voice broke through my thoughts.
I quickly shoveled in another bite of them and nodded enthusiastically.
He smiled. “Monty calls them pancakes a la Sal because she’s the only one who orders them that way. I always used to love them growing up. I’m surprised I still do.”
I chewed and tried to swallow. Dear lord, how big of a bite did I cram in there? I tried to chug some of my to-go coffee.
Hunter continued, looking at the playground instead of at my chipmunk cheeks. For which I was grateful. “I should apologize to her. I left on poor terms at lunch the other afternoon.” He shot me a quick, nervous glance. “Because she was trying to push me about my plans.”
My stomach sank. Was he working up to something bad? Had he bought me pancakes to soften the blow? I swallowed my mouthful of pancakes, which now tasted like a ball of cement.
He fiddled with his phone, flipping it over and over in his hand. “She got me thinking though. That I need to figure a few things out. And with you. But I—”
He broke off suddenly when his phone rang. A sudden scowl tightened his face when he saw the caller ID. “Sorry, Chloe, I need to take this. Just one minute?”
I nodded, my heart trying to join the cement pancakes in my belly. Hunter walked a few yards away with Arwen and answered the call, but I couldn’t hear what he said. And that was the opportune moment my mother picked to round the corner by River Roots Salon. Sudden, irrational fear made me want to upchuck everything I’d just gulped down as my eyes darted around for an escape. They stalled on the playground, and I figured I could make a break for it before she saw me.
Glancing back at Hunter, I guessed he’d be safe since he was on the phone. I, on the other hand, had about thirty seconds before she noticed me. Dumping my takeout on the bench, I jogged to the playground and nearly wept in relief when I saw Dom clambering around on the monkey bars.
“Dom! Dom!” I waved my hands like a crazy person, talking in a whisper-shout.
His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise, and he looked around for a moment as if hoping there was someone else I was signaling like a rabid fangirl. Warily, he jumped down and walked toward me.