Page 24 of Deep Gap

I drop the sponge in the sink and flee.

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“I’m taking Karen and Mac up on the offer to move in.” Greer stunned me by saying last night as she rinsed the popcorn bowl.

“Have you told Karen?” I thought she was happy here.

“Not yet.”

“When did you decide this?”

“A while ago. I’ve tried not to crimp your style, but you probably want your bachelor pad back.”

“I didn’t ask you to stay out of my way, Greer.” It came out defensive.

I’m as frustrated as I was when I gave her Karen’s excess beeswax and she didn’t enthusiastically rush to test out the lotion recipe she found online, citing that there wasn’t anyone to give it to and she was waiting until later in the spring to have Mother’s Day gifts.

I leave her alone while she crochets and crafts because she’s got an air of determination while she’s doing them. Proud of the results, I gain a little of her attention, hoarding it the way she is those five pounds.

For Valentine’s Day Greer decorated her bedroom with heart paper garland made from the pages of old books she picked up at the thrift shop. The hardbound cover became a mobile she suspended from the ceiling with honey bees flying out. I couldn’t decide if the curling pages resembled leaves or teardrops. Either way, it was as stunning as she is. She’d traced the insects using the silicone candy molds as a pattern. Some extra sheets turned into a bouquet of calla lilies—again with a random bee on the petal—she’s displayed on her dresser using an old spaghetti sauce jar she rinsed out and kept from dinner as a vase.

I’ll tell you one thing, that woman isn’t wasteful. And another thing, I hadn’t a clue what a calla lily was until she told me. Then of course she launched into bees and pollen, the swarms in the hives becoming more active in the spring, and I sat and listened to her light up.

Bees make her happy.

I don’t.

And knowing I don’t makes me very unhappy.

I’m the fucking drone.

I wish I were as oblivious as they are because Greer leaves me in suspense, waiting to be kicked out of her life. The more patience I have for her, the more evenings I draw her out of her room so we can spend time together, less I have for anything else.

And the innocent bewildered look she gives me, when touching her now is wholly intentional on my part, makes me realize she’s holding me at a distance.

“You got a minute?” Mac leans against the door jamb. He’s eating an apple down to the core.

I shuffle a few things around my desk, letting out a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah…” The hammer is about to come down hard. “Listen, the vet today. I was curt with him. I know better. The dog and the guy are a good match.”

“Not here to talk about that.” He waves me off, getting comfortable in the seat. “Those soldiers have been to boot camp and had physical therapists ride their asses. We train people as much as we do the dogs. Maybe even more so. Sometimes it takes longer for the pair to click. If we have to make an adjustment down the road, it won’t be the first time. The most even-tempered animal takes persistence and a good dose of humility to build a relationship with.”

“So, why are you here?”

“Greer says she’s moving in.”

My jaw ticks.

“Ah, ha.” Mac’s scolding sounds a lot like “You don’t want her to leave.”

I unwrap another piece of gum and stuff it in my mouth.

“You know, Karen forgave Greer long before I found it in my heart to do so? It was Ellis that changed my mind. He was about fifteen the first time I saw it.”

“What?”

“The way Ellis looked at Greer. She meant everything to him. He loved her. He probably loved her long before he ever realized it himself. He dated plenty to make the girl jealous.

“Greer made a horrible mistake. It’s one she lives with because she looked at him the same way. She can’t take back that one misstep, with no malice behind it, that ruined both their lives. Tore apart all our existences and stole every hope we had for their futures. I forgave Greer because that’s what Ellis would have wanted me to do. That’s the man I was trying to raise. If I intended to hold Ellis to that standard, it was high time I grew to it as well.”

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