Page 20 of Deep Gap

I respect her desire to live life on her terms without being judged by her past. She’s content with quiet. Happier with making others feel special. Unwanting of any limelight, or attention at all, for that matter.

When I’m with Greer, her choices are reasonable. Away from her? My dick is in my hand. And one shower is not enough. I’ve freaking come in my boxers by the next morning, after chastising myself for stroking one out the night before.

Fuck you very much, subconscious, for replacing nightmares with wet dreams.

Explaining to Karen and Mac that moving into my spare room was her last option was hard enough on Greer. Not that Karen didn’t offer theirs, but Greer’s too proud to take any more from Ellis’s parents. It’s why she’s punctual. Never complains. Always working like a dog. Continually thinking of others.

Greer even managed to box up the soaps and lip balms she owed me before slipping off to visit her parents. And the vacuum lines in the rug were perfectly parallel! Between the honeyed homemade soap scents and all of her tidying up, I might even forget two dogs live with us.

I’ve got to stop using the F-word, but it’s just so un-fucking-fair that I’m obsessed with a woman who I haven’t got a chance in hell with.

“You’re jumping to conclusions.” Trig polishes off the last swig from his beer bottle. He points to Kimber. “Tell Byron he’s off his rocker, My Love.”

December twenty-fourth and we’ve got barstools attached to our asses at Sweet Caroline’s where his wife is the manager. There’s a tired piece of chewing gum on the rim of my empty. It lost its elasticity on the drive here, making my jaw ache. But without it, I may have ground my molars down to nubs.

Kimber balls up a rag she’s used to wipe down the bar. “I can handle giving advice to customers, but the worst is shining a light up a friend’s butt.”

“What my wife means is—”

“Don’t you put words in my mouth.”

“What about my…”

“Trig Avery!” She tosses the towel at him. “Maybe, if you’re lucky. However, innuendo isn’t helping Byron.” Kimber leans her elbows on the bar. “You both seem indifferent to your age gap. Other than your concerns about pressuring Greer the way the ex-landlord did, nothing strikes me as an argument for Greer not being interested in you. She liked a guy once. So what that she’s attracted to women? Plenty of the dancers and the clientele here are too. Who hasn’t kissed a girl nowadays, even if it was just for fun?”

“Listen to My Love. She’s smart. And I am the steadfast wingman from the cheesy romance on the silver screen that will clap you on the back,” Trig pauses, gripping my shoulder, “and say, ‘There, there, my friend. Everything will work out’.”

“You are cut off, Trig.” Kimber takes a tray of drinks to serve to guests at a table nearest the stage.

“We just got here. This is my first one!”

“And your last,” she sing-songs.

He reaches over the counter, filling a glass with soda water from the plastic gun. “Her hormones are killing me.”

“You guys still trying?”

“For now, yeah.” Trig sighs, rubbing his Temple. “Kimber wants another baby bad. I don’t have the heart to disappoint her. Which means jerking off into a cup and letting her bring it to the doctor’s office.”

“Not a visual I needed.”

“Same here. You’ve basically admitted to rubbing one out over a woman who has friend-zoned you.”

“That’s harsh, wingman.” I chuckle. There’s something a little less pathetic about knowing you aren’t the only one with problems. “What about riding off into the sunset and happily ever afters?”

“Man, this is real life. If it weren’t, I’d have knocked my wife up and you wouldn’t be spending Christmas Day with my dog.”

“Your dog is going to be awesome.”

“She already is. She’s my dog… Really, Byron, what you’ve accomplished with Tallulah is great. I would’ve been glad to take her off your hands months ago. Kimber and I can’t wait for her to be a part of our family.” He nudges me. “Forget about feeling guilty about the kiss. Chalk it up to a mistake. We all make ‘em. Greer isn’t the first lady you’ve laid one on who in the end wasn’t interested. There was that staff sergeant who changed her mind about her divorce.”

“You had to bring that one up?” I guffaw.

That particular woman and her spouse had separated. We dated stateside and when the manilla envelope arrived at her APO address overseas, suddenly saving her marriage was a priority. She was in contact with her husband and attempting to reconcile while emailing me. I’d seen relationships go either way while I was deployed. Some soldiers can’t handle the distance and cut their loved ones off. Others hold on tighter for a connection to what’s safe.

“Did because you dodged a bullet there, man. Didn’t she eventually leave him, anyway?”

“He left her,” I grunt with the smug satisfaction only the jilted can muster. “I’m not looking to dodge anything with Greer, though. Except putting her in a compromising position.”

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