Page 80 of Better Together

Colt counted to three and pushed away from her. If he didn’t put space between them, he’d give in to that urge to confess everything. Instead of pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless the way he wanted to, he focused on gathering blankets. Who could care about the stars when the best thing in the universe was right here with him?

Chapter23

Remi

Abby wiggled close and rested her head on Remi’s chest. “I love snuggling.”

“Me too,” Colt said, pulling Ben close. The four of them were wrapped up in blankets and resting on pillows on the front porch, and the stars were showing off in the dark sky.

Ben pushed away and huffed. “I don’t. I’m too old for snuggling.”

“Well, I’m not.” Colt turned onto his side and laid an arm over Abby and Remi. The weight on her middle grounded her to reality.

Abby shivered. “Can we sleep out here?”

Remi could agree that Colt’s idea to hang out on the porch and watch the stars was a good idea, but the hard porch floor against her back promised at least a few aches in the morning.

“Maybe in the summer,” Colt said. “It’s supposed to stay below freezing all night.”

“But we have the heater. It’s warm. And I have Bun Bun.” Abby poked the head of her stuffed bunny out from beneath the blankets.

“I want to go camping,” Ben said. “Are the stars like this in the summer too?”

Remi looked up at the dark sky. She hadn’t appreciated the show God put on every night until she came to the ranch. In fact, she’d been here six months before her therapist had suggested looking for happiness in nature. Until that point, she’d been too focused on making it through each day without relapsing to notice anything at all.

“The stars are like this all the time, but we can’t always see them. Sometimes, the clouds get in the way.”

“I don’t think the stars were like this back home,” Ben said.

Colt rolled onto his back and inched Ben closer to his side. “They were. You just didn’t notice.”

“We didn’t go outside a lot.” Ben’s confession was a whisper, but Remi heard it loud and clear. Missing someone brought up a mix of good and bad memories, and guilt was usually close behind.

“Your mommy and daddy worked a lot,” Remi said. At least, Colt said Mark and Brittany were often looking for jobs, and that was a full-time job in itself.

“You work a lot too, but you still let us have fun,” Ben said.

Remi turned her head, letting her chin rest on top of Abby’s head. Colt was looking back at her. Hurt and indecision colored his shadowed expression. It wasn’t the first time the kids had opened up about their homelife before their parents died. They remembered a lot of good times, but they also wondered why their parents had done things the way they had.

She and Colt weren’t perfect. They’d forgotten lunchboxes, Ben had been late for school, and they’d fielded cries and complaints when they forced the kids to take baths or eat the dinner they’d made. As fun and challenging as parenting was, finding the balance was something they hadn’t mastered, and it seemed Mark and Brittany hadn’t either.

Abby let out a contented sigh. “I’m glad we get to live here, even if Mommy and Daddy can’t. I wish they could see the stars.”

Colt’s hand slipped into Remi’s that wrapped around Abby, threading their fingers together. A sharp buzz tingled over the skin where they touched and rivaled the chill of any Wyoming winter night.

“I bet your mom and dad saw the stars. I used to camp in the backyard with your dad when we were little.”

Remi squeezed Colt’s hand. She’d slept outside a few times when she was young, but she wouldn’t call it camping. It was easier to drag her blanket and pillow out onto the back porch when her mom had a fight with whichever boyfriend was her flavor of the week. They never looked for her out there, and her mother usually yelled for her when the fighting was over. They’d pack up and leave, usually ending up at the closest cheap motel.

Had Colt used camping to get away from his dad? The man had a problem with alcohol, but had Colt and Mark ever been in danger of abuse?

Remi had lived that life, and she bore the scars. Not on the outside, but there were times when a quick movement had her jerking back. Then came the memories. They were attached to those instincts. The searing pain after a grown man’s knuckles collided with her cheek. The sting in her scalp after getting jerked to the ground by her hair. She couldn’t predict which of the painful memories would follow the fear, but the hits always hollowed out her chest.

That couldn’t have happened to Colt. Even the thought made her stomach turn.

“Did you live somewhere cool like this when you and Daddy were little?” Abby asked.

“Nah. Nothing as cool as this.” Colt’s answer was barely a whisper.

---