Page 78 of Better Together

“I don’t think anything is broken. It would hurt a lot more to cry.” He’d broken ribs more than once, and the memory of that pain made his stomach roll when he thought about Abby.

Abby wiped her eyes and grabbed for Remi’s neck again. “I thought I was a goner.”

Colt rubbed a hand over his mouth. Any other time, he would have laughed at Abby’s recounting. Today, the fear was still too thick in his throat. Crouching in front of Ben, Colt jerked his chin over his shoulder. “Hop on.”

Ben climbed onto Colt’s back and wrapped a death-grip on his neck. He didn’t try to loosen the hold. He didn’t need to breathe right now as much as he needed that assurance of Ben’s safety.

Back at the cabin, Remi helped Abby into a warm bath, and Colt directed Ben to change into pajamas. The hero of the day had earned a night without a bath.

Colt gathered Ben’s clothes. A rip in the knee of the small jeans caught Colt’s breath again. Fear had never ruled his life, but it had set up shop and consumed him today. He’d done some stupid things in his day, but Abby had effectively scared the life out of him.

He tossed the dirty clothes into the hamper and rested his hands on the washing machine. The cold of the metal zinged up his arms, proving that he hadn’t been wandering some nightmare.

Was this what it felt like to be a dad? Was it constant fear and worry? How did Mark handle it?

Colt closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Lord, I can’t live with fear like this. I’m not supposed to worry, but right now, that’s all I can think about. How do I do it? How do I trust that the kids and Remi won’t be ripped away from me?” He swallowed hard and rapped his knuckles against the machine. “I can’t live like this.”

The first full breath he’d taken all afternoon slowly filled his chest. He didn’t have to live like this. The Lord never promised an easy path, but He promised to always be near.

Colt straightened as a surge of strength lifted his shoulders. It might only last for a minute, but it was the push he needed to put on a brave face for the kids and Remi.

“Uncle Colt! I can’t find any tall socks!” Ben yelled from the other side of the cabin.

A hamper of folded clothes sat on the dryer, and he grabbed a pair of Ben’s boot socks. “Got them.”

Tossing Ben the socks, Colt turned toward the kitchen. “The hero gets to choose dinner.”

“Spaghetti!” Ben shouted as he bounced into the room.

Colt pulled a pot and pan out of the bottom cabinet. “Remi’s spaghetti is better, but maybe I can get it started and she can jump in when Abby gets out of the bath.”

The kitchen was oddly quiet as Colt started pulling out ingredients. Ben sat at the table looking down at his hands.

“What’s up, bud?”

Ben shrugged but didn’t look up. “I wasn’t a hero. I couldn’t pull her up.”

Colt wielded the large pan, pointing it at Ben. “You kept her from falling, and that was huge. I don’t know if I could have held onto her when I was your age.”

“Really?”

“I’m not just saying that. She was squirming around too, which made keeping your hold on her even harder.” All of the things Colt hadn’t wanted to think about came flooding in at once. Ben had really done something big today. “If she’d fallen, she probably would have broken something–a foot or an arm. She might have hit her head. It’s all jagged rock at the bottom of that crevice.”

Colt put the pan down and rounded on Ben, wrapping him up in a strong hug. “I’m proud of you.”

The bathroom door swung open, banging against the wall. “I’m hungry!”

Colt released the hug and grabbed the meat out of the fridge. “Sorry, your sister is fierce when she gets hangry.”

“I’m hungry too. Can we have that buttery bread like we had last time?”

Colt flung open the freezer and pulled out a bag of pre-made garlic bread. “You’re in luck.”

Abby barreled into the kitchen and jumped toward Colt. He threw out his arms, one holding the meat and the other holding the bread. When she hugged her little arms around his neck, she started peppering him with kisses. They were all over his face, and he closed his eyes against the onslaught and prayed it wouldn’t end.

“Thank you for pulling me up,” Abby said.

“I’ll always be here to pull you up.”

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