Page 114 of Better Together

“I guess so.”

“I know so.”

Remi lifted her head and wiped her face. “After the rehab, Kendra got me a job here. She got me in touch with a good therapist–someone who truly cared. She got me into church, and I gave my life to Christ.” She paused as the truth hit her. “I’m not doing a very good job of being a good Christian.”

“Stop that. Everyone has moments of weakness. Everyone backslides.”

“I know I’m not that person I used to be anymore, but those mistakes still haunt me. That’s what happened today. I know you’re a good man, but I was afraid you’d lived a double life like I had–one bad and one spent making up for the bad. So this is all part of my grand apology for running out on you today when you needed me most.”

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this?”

“Because you would never look at me the same way again. Don’t you see? I’m scared of ghosts. All the people who should have cared about me, they left me. And they left me a little more broken. Then, I was just a mess of what they’d left. The parts they didn’t want. That’s why I couldn’t open my heart and give myself to someone like you. Because I’m garbage–the trash other people left behind.”

He pulled her back to him. “Stop. I won’t let anyone talk about you like that, including you. You’re not those things.” He lifted her chin until she was looking straight up into his eyes. “Don’t you get it? I want your mind, body, heart, and soul. My life is better with you in it, and I’d take a lifetime of torture over a day without you.”

His words sank into her skin, wrapped their letters around her heart, and filled her with the truth of his love. She smiled, feeling the ease of their friendship seep back into the conversation. “That’s very poetic of you.”

He slid his hand up the side of her neck, trailing his thumb over her cheek. His touch was as soft and gentle as a warm breeze. “I love you more than I love breathing. I don’t need air. I need you. My love is unconditional. You need to accept that. I’m not going anywhere.”

Remi bit her lips between her teeth. How could she accept something she didn’t understand?

But she did understand it. Or she was trying to. The Lord loved her despite her faults, and Colt was telling her he could do that too. It pressed against the old ideas she’d held about love and devotion, but maybe it was as real as Colt thought it was. There were many forms of forgiveness and grace that she’d never understand, but Colt was showing her that he could give her the family she never had growing up. He was giving her a do-over but better.

Colt wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in closer. “You’re perfect. I’ve meant that every time I’ve said it, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have faults. It means you’re perfect for me. It means you’re perfect for Ben and Abby. It means you’re a crucial part of this family, and we’re not whole and perfect without you.”

She let her forehead rest against his chest. “I’m so sorry I left today. I left when you needed me most.”

His heavy hand rubbed a circle on her back, soothing the ache of her mistakes. “You came back. That’s all that matters.”

Remi lifted her head. “No. I’m going to keep standing by you through this. I’ll make up for what I did.”

“I can’t tell you what that means to me. It makes me sick to think about hurting a woman, even if it’s Tasha. I want to punch a tree every time I hear her name.”

“Same. She’s trying to take the kids from us, and I just can’t–”

“No. We’re not losing the kids,” Colt interrupted. “Never. You can mark it in stone. We’ll never lose Ben and Abby.”

Remi took the first full breath since the phone call with Camille earlier. Her determination was renewed, standing at attention on the front lines.

They knew what was coming next. Colt might not have seen it before, but Remi had. “We’ll have to fight to keep them.”

Colt smiled down at her, fiery resolve burning in his eyes. “Then we’ll fight together.”

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I hoped you’d say that.”

Chapter32

Remi

Remi stepped out of Colt’s truck and opened the back door. Abby lifted her arms, allowing Remi to unbuckle the car seat.

“Can I get a sucker?” Abby asked.

“Me too!” Ben shouted from the other side of the truck.

“We’ll see.” Remi looked at her watch. “It’ll be lunchtime soon, so maybe we can get one and save it until after.”

“I want purple,” Abby said as she climbed out of the truck.

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