Page 67 of Desperately Seeking Kitty

And gave him blowjobs every single day with happy endings with no requirement for something in return.

Something I hadn’t done last night.

Now you may never get the chance. You know he’s just messing around with you so you can be his stand-in girlfriend to impress his parents.

Impress, ha. More like get them off his back. Not sure him showing up with me would do that but I’d let him have his delusions—unless I could convince him it was all a big mistake to ask me to play the part.

I yawned and refilled Princess’s bowl of dry food before I changed into a pair of fuzzy pajamas and curled into bed. Last night’s decided lack of sleep was catching up to me, and I didn’t know when Clint would be calling.

In the meantime, I’d just take a short nap in sheets that smelled deliciously of cinnamon and crisp, clean, masculine soap.

I snuggled in, yanked my spare pillow against my chest and smiled my way into sleep.

And woke in the dark with a hard, heavy body behind me and soft, warm lips against my neck. Even as I jerked awake, my heartbeat slamming in my ears, his familiar scent and touch and voice wrapped around me.

“A neighbor buzzed me up and you left the door unlocked. But I missed you. I hope it’s okay I’m here. I just need you.” He buried his face in my hair, his cold nose rubbing against my neck and making me shiver.

Then I realized he was shaking against me. Around me. Until I turned over and tried to wrap his big body in my arms and my legs around his so that I could transfer my warmth.

“It was awful. I don’t want to put this…any of this…on you. I handle it. I always handle it. But so many babies dead or dying, and the ones we have, will they all survive? I don’t know. I just don’t fucking know.”

My usual inclination to back away, to retreat to safety, didn’t seem to apply here. All I wanted to do was offer comfort.

“Shh. Shh.”I didn’t know what to say, so I kept trying to shush him into sleep or some kind of relief while he shook against me and pressed his cold face into my chest, right above my heart.

Rain pattered on the window and left silvery tracks on the glass in the moonlight. That was what I felt against my skin. He’d just been outside in the cool, damp night.

It had to just be rain.

In time, he slept. When I was sure that his breathing was utterly steady and his face was as relaxed as I could hope for, I swallowed hard and gently kissed his damp lips.

My chest ached. Simply ached.

“I love you,” I whispered, and this time, some part of me hoped he heard. That he understood in the place inside of him that didn’t need words.

I loved him for his heart and that he cared for all those left behind. And I loved him because he faced the demons I’d run from.

Was still running from.

Most of all, I loved him becauseIwas his choice to come home to. Just as he was mine. Even if it didn’t last between us, if it couldn’t, I’d found a home not in a place but a person. Somehow he was safety and pleasure and a respite, all in one.

Temporary or not, this mattered.Wemattered.

I only hoped I could give him back a fraction of what he’d already given me.

FIFTEEN

I forcedmyself out of bed four hours later to dig through my pile of clothes on the floor beside the bed. I was late. I had to get back.

“No.”

The sleepy voice turned sharp as I continued dressing, tugging on my pants and shirt. I needed a shower but there wasn’t time for it.

Not today.

I was the first one who could get there. Most of the rest of them had families. Wives, husbands, kids. Reasons they couldn’t be on call day and night. I didn’t. I had my job and my cat.

And a family I spent time running from so I couldn’t disappoint them with my presence and the proof I wasn’t what they wanted.

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