Page 89 of Sins of the Son

It was then I remembered I had Cesare’s phone. It had been in his pants pocket. Easily guessing his passcode since he hadn’t changed it from when we were teenagers, I opened it and found Gabriella’s number. The moment she realized it was me calling, she insisted I come to her home immediately, no questions asked.

Not even when I asked her not to tell Cesare or any of the other Cavalieri men where I was.

She had laughed. “Darling girl, but of course! We can’t make these things too easy for them!”

* * *

What Gabriella called the guest bedroom was larger than my old apartment. It had a luxurious, old-world European feel. The walls were painted a beautiful dark blueish-gray with intricate molding highlighting beautiful gold-framed pastel watercolors. A long sideboard displayed a massive gold bowl filled with white hydrangeas and roses, hints of glossy green leaves tucked among them. Almost afraid to touch anything, I moved across the thick, plush white carpet to an open doorway in the far corner.

As I crossed the threshold, my mouth fell open.

The bathroom walls were papered in a gorgeous metallic gold with a stunning peacock and twisted branch design. The shower was a circular glass chamber in the center of the room, with one of those rain shower heads. It was so decadent and slightly wicked looking.

I closed the bathroom door and undressed quickly. Getting into the shower, I sucked in a shocked breath as a blast of cold water rained down on me before it turned hot. Feeling more than a little on display, I quickly washed my hair and body, loving the jasmine scent of the expensive soaps and shampoos Gabriella offered to guests.

After wrapping a wonderfully soft towel around my head and another around my middle, I emerged into the bedroom to see that Gabriella had laid out an outfit while I was in the bathroom.

It was a simple, yet elegant, backless Miu black silk jumpsuit. With my panties ruined and it being backless, I would basically be going commando. I bit my lip, wondering what Cesare would think if he knew.

Cesare.

Even thinking his name caused my heart to physically ache.

What was I going to do?

I had run. Like a fucking coward, I had run from him. It wasn’t like I had wanted to hurt him. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t fair to blame him for the actions of others. He wasn’t responsible for what had happened to me. It wasn’t his fault if someone had used me to get to him. It wasn’t his fault if I chose not to confide in him afterward. These were all choices we made. Choices that impacted others. Choices that ruined the past and damned the future.

And that was the problem.

I just couldn’t see how we could keep the past from bleeding into the future.

I wasn’t one of those women who thought a man deserved better. Fuck that. I was a fucking catch. I was intelligent, charming (when I wanted to be), pretty (at least I had always been told so), and hard-working. Any man would be lucky to have me. Even a Cavalieri man. And I had long ago learned to tune out what others thought about me.

The problem was, saying all those things, thinking all those things, believing all those things… and living all those things, were very different realities.

It was easy to think I didn’t care what others thought. It wouldn't be as easy to brush off the whispered comments and glares that would surely be leveled at me whenever I entered a room on Cesare’s arm.

It was easy to believe I deserved a seat at the table at Cavalieri Property Management because I was damn good at project management. It wouldn't be as easy to deal with the snide comments and backhanded passive-aggressiveness I would surely face from the staff who thought I was an unqualified gold digger.

I placed a hand over my stomach. It would be easy to fall into the fantasy of having children with him. It would bring me to my knees, though, the day my child returned from school hurt and in tears, saying the other kids were teasing them about their mother being low-class trash.

Cesare was prepared to fight those who hurt me, but he couldn’t fight the entire world.

Love was hard enough without facing those odds.

I sucked in a breath.

Love.

It was the first time I had allowed myself to even think the word in connection with Cesare since before the attack.

Love.

I was in love with Cesare.

I loved Cesare.

I loved a Cavalieri.

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