Page 8 of The Caress

Somehow, I muster the self-control to hold back most of my anger and all my sarcastic replies for the next several minutes until we’ve been escorted from the SUV to Keir’s private jet. But once it’s just us and the flight crew?

All bets are off.

"What the hell is all this about?" I ask as the plane starts to taxi down the runway. "You’d better be taking me to Manhattan right now, because that’s the only place I want to go." Home.Myhome."

"I’d like to take you there," he grumbles from the plush leather seat across from mine. "Believe me, I really would," she said. "I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to stay with me for a while."

He’s right. That isn’t what I want to hear.

"I can’t deal with this, Keir." I use both hands to rub my tired eyes, then shake my head. "Seriously, I can’t." I’m exhausted. I’m still upset with you over the way you treated me last night. I’m in pain from being chased around by some crazy guy with a gun. Now you’re telling me you’re going to hold me here against my will? for my ownsafety?"

I’ve been trying to hold my temper in check, but I’ve been raising my voice over the steadily increasing engine noise until I’m finally yelling at him.

"I honestly don’t know whether I should thank you or hate you right now, Keir," I continue, still yelling as I stand up from my seat and move to one of the other armchairs across the narrow aisle of the plane. "All I know is that I can’t even think straight because you keep throwing me out and pulling me back in every time I turn around. It’s exhausting, and I’m sick of it. I really am."

He follows me as I try to get away in the confined space, sitting down across from me again and leaning forward until there’s only about a foot of space that separates his face from mine.

"You’re angry. I get it," he says, his own voice surprisingly calm even though I can tell by his expression that he’s barely holding his own emotions in check. "I can’t blame you for being upset after the way I’ve treated you. It’s shitty. I know it’s shitty, and I won’t try to defend myself right now even though I swear I never intended to hurt you."

He pauses to scrub a hand down his face, and I feel a momentary pang of guilt for the way I’ve been shouting at him. just a momentary pang, though. He’s still treated me like shit over the past twenty-four hours, just like he said. Then again, he’s also saved my life.

"What are your intentions now?" I ask, the rational part of my brain taking over again now that I’ve had a chance to tell him exactly how I feel. "What happens when we land? I don’t even know where we’re going, Keir. My family is expecting me to come home, and I feel like they need me there. My dad has been acting out, and my sister is sick. I’m stretched really thin right now, mentally and emotionally, so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t really give a damn what your intentions might have been before. You’ve hurt me, Keir. I have to start protecting my heart."

"I understand," he says, nodding. "All I’m asking for is a little more time to make sure you’re safe." We’ll wait out the inevitable media shitstorm in Malta. I’ll bring Isla and Saffron, so you won’t be lonely. "And," he pauses before clearing his throat. "And you won’t have to be alone with me unless you want to be."

Damn it all.

I can already feel my anger starting to fade. The look on his face and the tone of his voice are enough to let me know he’s sincere. And vulnerable. and too damn handsome.

How am I supposed to stay strong and harden my heart when all I really want is to let him take me into his arms? I want everything to go back to the way it was before he told me to leave. I want the two of us to be happy.

Together.

But I’m not sure if that’s possible anymore. I’m not even sure I have enough strength or patience to keep trying.

"I don’t mind being alone with you," I say, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I’m just tired of being hurt. I'm tired of being angry."

He nods. "I know. And I’m sorry. "I wish I could promise that I’ll never do anything to upset you again, but... He takes a deep breath and opens his arms slightly. "For the first time in my life, I’m dealing with things that are completely out of my control. Kinsley, my parents, my brother, this killer I’m doing the best I can to handle it all, but I know I’ve made mistakes. I’m probably going to make more mistakes as we go, but I’ll still be doing my best. That’s the most I can promise right now.

It isn’t the fairytale happy ending I’ve been secretly longing for, but it’s still something. It’s a sincere apology and an acknowledgment that he’s messed up. God knows that’s more than he’s admitted in the past.

"You’re still not off the hook for the way you’ve treated me," I warn, even though I can already feel the walls around my heart starting to crumble. "And this doesn’t change anything between us." I study his expression for another moment and slowly sigh. "But I guess maybe I’ll stay with you in Malta." I pause again, narrowing my eyes. "For now."

"That’s all I’m asking." For the first time since we’ve been on the plane together, a faint smile spreads across his lips. "For now."

He leans in closer, and I can feel my lips parting as my breath catches in my throat. I’m not even thinking anymore; I'm only reacting as I tip my head back just enough for him to capture my mouth in a strong, insistent, much-needed kiss.

Just like that, my body is ready to forget all about the last twenty-four hours. I'm ready to forget all about the way he hurt me and how I swore I’d never let him get to me again.

Yeah, my body is totally on board with what we’re doing now, even though my brain is still demanding that I hold him accountable for his behavior.

But it’s really hard to stick to my guns when his big, warm hands are on my body and he’s pulling me across the narrow aisle until I’m straddling him on the oversized leather seat.

I’m definitely going to regret this later.

Eventually.

Probably.

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