Page 73 of The Nanny

“I don’t think she’ll ever doubt that for a minute.” I reach over to run my fingertips along the chain around his neck. “Is that why you keep those two rings on this chain? For Isla’s sake?”

He reaches for the rings, holding them in his hand for a moment before shaking his head. “No, not for Isla. These are for me. They’re the wedding bands Kinsley and I wore for the first part of our marriage when we were still pretending it wasn’t all a huge mistake.”

I wince. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring the conversation back to her.”

“No need to apologize.” He lets go of the rings and slips the chain back under his shirt collar. “I want to be reminded. That’s why I wear them. It’s my way of telling myself not to let anyone in, not to get too close. But here I am, spilling my guts to you anyway. I guess some lessons have to be learned the hard way.”

There’s so much I want to say. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to be so guarded with me, that I’m nothing like Kinsley and I won’t ever try to hurt him like that. I want to tell him it’s okay to let people in, that the only way we get to experience the good feelings is by opening ourselves up to the bad ones as well.

I don’t say any of those things, though. Instead, I tip my head back as he leans in. His lips brush against mine and I close my eyes, melting against him. I’m finally starting to understand that it doesn’t matter how many times I try to tell him I’m not like all those other girls he’s known.

He won’t believe me until I show him, until I back up my words with actions. That’s what I hope I’m doing now—showing him that being close to someone doesn’t always have to end badly.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-SIX

KEIRAN

I wake up feeling hungover and disoriented, like I’ve just been out all night drinking. Unfortunately, the truth isn’t nearly as exciting.

I haven’t been drinking at all, but I have just spent the entire night slumped over on the sofa with Ella nestled against me. Definitely not complaining about that part, but I’m way past the age when spending the night on a couch could be considered comfortable and refreshing.

Looking down at the floor, I can see that Isla is still sound asleep in her makeshift pillow fort, so I still have some time to untangle my arms and legs from Ella’s and make my way to the bedroom where I can at least change clothes and take a quick shower before I have to get the day started.

Still trying not to wake Ella, I reach for my phone and squint to read the news alert that’s flashing across my screen.

Lord Grayrose in bed with the nanny? Scandalous sex tape leak!

Fuck.

Fuck.

My chest tightens as I re-read it just to be sure.

No. This can’t be happening. Not to me. Not today. Not with my daughter still sleeping five feet away.

So much for letting Ella sleep in. “Ella,” I nudge her gently but urgently. “Ella, you need to wake up. We have a problem.”

“What?” She stretches and rubs her eyes as she looks around the room. She’s probably just as disoriented as I was a few moments ago, but there’s no time to let her adjust. “What’s going on?”

I wish there was an easy way to break this to her, but there isn’t. “The sex tape has leaked. It’s out there in the public now.”

Her breath catches in her throat as she bolts upright on the couch next to me. “What? Shit!”

I press a finger to my lips and nod in Isla’s direction. “I’m going to pick her up and tuck her into her own bed. Turn on the TV and see what they’re saying on the news stations.”

She nods and jumps into action while I scoop up Isla from the floor and carry her to her bedroom, thanking my lucky stars the entire time that she’s such a heavy sleeper.

Two minutes later, I’m back in the living room with Ella. “It’s all over the news,” she says, pointing to the TV in front of her without looking up from her phone. “And I’m already getting messages from… everyone. Everywhere.”

I want to take her into my arms again and reassure her that everything is going to be fine, but honestly?

I’m not sure it’s going to be okay. Our nightmare scenario has just come true. We’re only five minutes into the crisis and it already feels like my whole world might be crashing down around me.

My sister is going to see these headlines. She’s going to get asked uncomfortable questions about my love life. Hell, my parents are going to get asked those same questions.

I walk over to my phone and ignore the incoming messages as I scroll through my contact list. There’s so much to do and no time for any of it, but we have to start somewhere. I’ll lose my mind if I don’t start doing something productive. “We’ll have to put out a statement. I need to call my lawyers and my PR firm. They’re gonna earn their fucking money today.”

“I don’t understand how this happened,” she sounds miserable and looks even worse when she makes eye contact with me again. “My dad has called a dozen times already. What am I going to tell him?” She dashes at her cheeks as tears start to spill down her face. “What am I going to do, Keir?”

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