Page 41 of The Dark Elf's Secret Twins

It only makes things more difficult for me. Given how he treats me, I so badly want to hate him, but as much as I try, I simply can’t.

* * *

It’s earlyin the morning. I’m standing in the ursula meeting spot with the children, waiting for Lykan’s arrival to allow me to go to work. The kids themselves slept soundly but I didn’t. Tossing and turning all night with my conflicting feelings of love and hatred for Lykan.

On top of everything, a continuous wave of exhaustion presses down on my body. I know it’s going to be a long day ahead. The door opens, inwards strolling Lykan.

“Good morning,” I greet.

“Hello Cyra,” he says dryly. There’s a faint look of curiosity in his face, almost as though he wishes to ask me a question. I guess he sees just how fatigued I am. His eyes light up when he speaks to the kids. “Come with me children.”

They give me a hug goodbye and run off to join their father. As they head back through the way their father came, I feel an urge to call out to them. Ultimately, I bite back on my tongue.

Lykan doesn’t like me anyway, so why should I bother?

An hour goes by. I’m standing on top of a chair in Nasthyn’s library, dusting off the shelves one by one. The air in here is stuffy, doing nothing but making my exhaustion weigh down heavier on me. It’s not just my body suffering for my mind is running rampant with thoughts of my former lover.

No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get him off of my mind. Just then, the door to the library opens, inwards strolling Nasthyn holding a book.

“Hello there!” he calls to me.

“Hi Nasthyn,” I reply.

“Don’t mind me, I’m just returning a book back to its place,” he says with a smile. “Say, how are you and Lykan doing?”

“Fine, I suppose,” I say, trying to focus on my work.

“You know, I’m still in disbelief that he turned out to be the father of your kids,” he chuckles, placing his book on the shelf below me. “So, when will you two hold your mating ceremony?”

“Excuse me?” I quip, turning to face him. “Lykan and I aren’t together anymore, well actually we never were in…” I say but my voice trails off.

Nasthyn stands there with a confused look as I climb off the chair.

“I’m sorry, I’ve said too much,” I sigh. “But if you must know, Lykan and I will not be taking part in any such thing.”

“I apologize for stepping over the line,” says Nasthyn. “I’ll leave you to work.”

Before I can say anything else, he has already spun around and vanished from the library, as though he was never here in the first place. Letting out a long sigh of defeat, I collapse into the chair. I throw aside the cleaning rag and sit there for a while, contemplating my feelings and thoughts.

If I didn't face them now, I knew they’d continuously chase me and push me away from a life of peace. Running a damp hand over my sweaty forehead, I confront the one weighing down on me the most.

“There’s no way I can keep living like this with Lykan,” I mutter. “It’s too unpleasant and the kids are starting to suffer for it.”

I think then of how much happier they seemed when we would all do things together. The first time they met Lykan springs to the forefront of my mind, playing out like a storybook. As if I’ve traveled back through time, I’m overcome with a feeling of joy when I recall how they immediately accepted him.

Colson and Kenji are two very special boys in my life. Others can treat me however they want but they can never give me what Lykan did. He undoubtedly had issues that needed some work but I cannot get over the sight of him and the children together.

For a moment, I think of us all being together again. Specifically, him holding me in his arms, the thought of which immediately makes my body feel warm.

“Damn it,” I groan. “Lykan, you may be difficult to live with… but I need to find some way to fix all of this, so you can see just how much you mean to me.”

21

LYKAN

These last few weeks have been nothing but miserable. It’s had the strangest effects on my mind. I thought that when I invited Cyra to live with me, she and I would spend all our free time together with the children.

Now looking after them feels more like an allowance than normal quality time. It’s not Colson or Kenji that are the problem, in fact they are the only things in my life keeping me from going insane. I just never thought things would get this difficult between their mother and I.

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