Page 38 of Keep Her Safe

“There’s a lot of things you can do yourself that I like doing for you.”

I can’t hide the smile from finding my face as he pours some on a new cotton pad and continues his task. “Letting you talk to Cooper at midnight would just raise a whole bunch of questions about what we’re doing this late. Especially because until recently you never spent much time alone with me.”

He nods in understanding and it makes me wonder if he wasn’t thinking clearly earlier. Was it a knee-jerk overprotective reaction? “I’m sorry if my being in the picture makes things difficult.”

“Why are you sorry? I called you over.”

“I hate that you felt you had to.” I shrug and he nods towards my huge walk-in shower. “You mentioned showering while you were on the phone.”

I nod, knowing where he’s going with this. We are both still naked and I smile at the look he’s giving me. He opens the glass and reaches in to turn on the water and it shoots down from the rain showerhead. He moves around me and grabs where I usually keep my shower caps and hands them to me.

“Okay first, how do you know how to find my things so quickly?” He cocks his head to the side, shooting me a look, and I roll my eyes realizing that he probably has every inch of my bedroom and bathroom memorized in case anything is ever out of place. “I’m never going to be able to keep anything from you.” I take the shower caps from him and set them on the counter. “Normally yes, but I have to wash all the product out of my hair that my stylist put in for the gala and I’d like the first time we shower together to not feature the unsexiness of a shower cap. Give me a break.”

I’m through the glass door when I feel a hand around my wrist and I’m yanked against a hard chest. “You are sexy in everything.” He takes a step and runs his gaze down my body for the hundredth time tonight and then back up. “And nothing, god damn.”

I watch as the water hits the muscles of his chest and glides down his body to his dick. “I could say the same thing about you.” My eyes dart to each of his tattoos and I move around him, running my fingers along all of the ink on his back as well before moving to his front again. “I have a thing for guys with tattoos.” I bite my lip. “Will you tell me what they all mean to you?”

“A lot of them date back to when I was in the military.” He swallows. “They represent people or times. Some of them don’t have much meaning” He grabs my hand and presses it to his chest to the compass. “Mine points North, which means you’re on the right path. North will always guide you home.” He drags my hand to his shoulder where there’s a wolf. “Wolves mean protection and loyalty.” He moves to his forearm to the Latin words.

“Where there is life, there is hope,” I whisper and he smiles before giving me a nod. “I looked it up when I saw it. I love that.” I run my fingertips over it. “I spent a lot of time thinking about what that means in the context of what I’ve been through…” I trail off. “Someone who has dealt with so much loss.”

He nods. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. “No.” I look up at him. “And I don’t mean I don’t want to talk to you about it, I just mean not now.”

He nods again and moves to his other arm to the cross and gives me a sad smile. “The two initials are for men we lost in my last tour overseas.”

“I’m sorry.” I rub the ink and push my body into his, wrapping my arms around him and giving him a tight hug.

I feel his chin rest on the top of my head and then he moves my face and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “I’m sorry that you understand this feeling. That you understand loss on such a visceral level. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” He pushes me against the tile and I hiss as the cool marble hits my back. The steam in the shower clouds the air. “I was planning to leave you,” He tells me and I frown at his words. “Before you lost them, I was planning to resign as your head of security.”

Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of not having him for the past five years. “Why?”

“Because of this.” He points back and forth between us. “There was an attraction between us and I was worried what that meant for being able to protect you efficiently. But then you lost your parents and the way you clung to me the day you found out and the weeks following…you didn’t want anyone within three feet of you except for me, and I just couldn’t leave you. Not like that.” He swallows and hearingwhat could have beenhas me shivering despite the warm temperature of the shower.

“You wanted to…leave?” The water slides down his body and I follow the trails, unable to look him in the eyes while I’m feeling this vulnerable.

He rubs my upper arms gently before his index finger finds my chin and gently raises my face. “But then things changed between us. I saw you as this person that I wanted to protect for more reasons than it was my job, and I didn’t trust anyone to keep you safe.” He cups my face and rubs his nose against mine. “I put my feelings aside because you needed someone you could depend on.” He swallows.

“And…now?”

“You can still depend on me but I don’t think I can put my feelings aside anymore.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt?”

“Because I still worry about how I’m going to protect you. How this…changes everything.”

My usual alarm for five-thirty in the morning goes off, and normally, I’m someone that gets up immediately. I rarely need the snooze button, but given that I’d slipped out of Shay probably only an hour ago, the thought of prying my eyes open right now is the last thing I want to do. Shay moans in my arms and I can feel her waking up. “Turn it off,” she groans into my chest while simultaneously pushing herself closer to me. We are in the center of her king-sized bed and I look at my phone that’s not exactly within arm’s reach on her nightstand. I try to move and she whimpers and pulls me closer. “No.”

“Let me get my phone.”

One eye opens and she lets me out of her grasp so I can grab it and silence it before moving back to her. “I need to get up.”

“No, you don’t.” She presses her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. “What time is it anyway?”

“Five-thirty.”

“What!” She groans and snuggles further into her white duvet that, to be fair, is very comfortable. “What are you doing up this early?”

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