Page 56 of Seductive Sadist

Fury burns a hole in my chest. I reach out and grab Skyla by the neck. She only has one working hand that can claw at my skin. And the joke’s on her because the sting electrifies me. It doesn’t stop me for a second.

She turns her tear-filled eyes up at me. “Was it worth it, Zak? What you did that night? Was it worth everything you lost?”

Chapter24

Skyla

Zak’s jaw tightens to the point where it just might crack from the pressure. Kind of like the way my neck will snap if he doesn’t let up his grip.

“Please,” I croak, clasping my one hand around his wrist. “I can’t breathe. Stop.”

His eyes spit white-hot embers. They singe my skin, the pain and helplessness that swirls in his gaze claws at my heart.

“Don’t you dare question me, Skyla. I did exactly what I had to do for my family.”

He mercifully loosens his hold on me, and I choke down oxygen, coughing and sputtering as my lungs fill.

“It didn’t stop your family’s enemies. You were chasing a rabbit down a hole and they—”

“I know what I did. And I fucking know what I lost. Because of them. And because ofme.”

He lets go of me completely, still holding my gaze captive.

My brain rattles, ears shattering when he bellows the words.

I tentatively reach a hand out to him, placing my quivering fingertips on his bare chest. He recoils like he’s just been shocked, then lowers himself over me, straight dark hair hanging over his eyes.

But his torment can’t be masked. It’s evident in his corded muscles, his clenched teeth, and the vein in his neck that throbs when he’s flooded with rage. God knows, I’ve seen that plenty in the past twenty-four hours.

None of this is new to me. I witnessed it all over the years. I saw Zak at his best, his worst, and everything in between. And every little detail was recorded in the depths of my mind, along with all of my unrequited feelings.

They should have stayed buried forever, tucked away in the deep recesses of my soul so they could never break my heart all over again. Because as much as I hated the idea of marrying Tyson to keep my father’s livelihood intact, the mere thought of having my feelings for Zak exposed again, like wounds torn open to expose the raw nerves underneath, was gut-wrenching.

There’s a very fine line between love and hate and right now, I’m straddling it hard.

The pads of my fingertips tingle as the electrical current flows between us. Our heaving breaths comingle in the air, so thick with lust and need, I could bite through them. He moves closer, veins in his forearms popping under his weight. The tips of his hair tickle my forehead, his turbulent irises pulling me into the deep abyss, daring me to resist.

But I can’t. I never could. And I never will.

“I lost someone, too. I know how much it hurts, how you feel like you blame yourself for not doing enough to stop it.” I slide my hand upward until it grazes his stubbled chin.

“I could have stopped it.”

I shake my head. “They would have found another way, and it may have been even more devastating. You know that.”

For a second, the clouds in his tortured gaze clear and give way to a bright-blue sky, and I think I’ve broken through his anger, reached him on a level I’d only dreamed about. But when his lips twist and the doom and gloom eclipse the sun struggling to shine, I know he’s gone again. Dragged back out to his lonely raft for one, leaving me flailing in the distance with no lifeline to cling to.

But my heart can’t accept that.

Too much loss and betrayal have shredded what’s left of it, and I don’t know if I can fit the pieces back together again.

I never thought I’d be back here again, riding this crazy train of emotion.

Suddenly, memories of my sister and her panic the night of her death pop between my ears like cracking bullets.

Tears sting my eyes, blurring my vision of Zak. A quiet sob bubbles in my chest.

Laney is gone. It was such a senseless death, like a brightly lit candle snuffed out by a gust of wind. So sudden, so devastating. I should have paid closer attention to what was happening at the club and with Tyson, but I was too focused on Zak and the gaping hole he left in my heart.

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