Page 107 of The Payback

“Where are we going? Dimitri! Nik!”

He pokes his head out of the kitchen, sees what’s happening, sighs, and turns around.

He’s in love with Eleanor just as much as I am; that much is clear. The question is, does she love us too? Either of us?

He’s the father of her child, a bond I’ll likely never share with her, and the martyr in me wants to step aside. Let them reconcile and build the family Nik’s been missing since his parents died. But the bigger part of me believes in doing what’s right. And now, what’s driving me is what’s rightfor me.

And Eleanor is right for me.

I take the stairs, ignoring the little jabs she lands on me. I swat her ass on the landing before continuing and pushing through our bedroom door.

With an almighty heave, I fling her over my shoulder. She lands on the bed with anoomph, bouncing with the impact. Before she can move, I throw myself on top of her, her thighs widening and allowing me to crawl up her body.

Eleanor’s breath catches in her throat; her eyes half-lidded with desire. “Dimitri,” she breathes, the word a question and a plea all in one.

“Do you want him?” I ask, nipping the skin of her collarbone before dragging my lips up her neck. She doesn’t answer straight away, so I repeat myself. “Do you?”

“In what way?”

“To have. To fuck. To marry. To own—the way you own me. Eleanor, my Sabre, I am yours, but with that comes the responsibility to ensure your happiness. If it’s Nik you want... If you think Nik will make you happy, I will walk away.” The words are painful to admit, and just seconds ago, I argued with myself that she was right for me, but I can’t help the guilt I feel when I think about how much Nik adores this woman.

I pull away, not wanting to influence her choice with my touch. “You are mine, but more than that, I amyours. It is a selfish man who puts the desires of his wife aside in pursuit of his own, and I am not that man, Eleanor. So, tell me before I go mad with wondering.”

Her soft hands land on my cheeks, cupping my jaw and tilting my face upward. “I, ah, hell. I want both of you. And not just for now.” Those words echo the first time we were in this bed together, her saying she was minefor now.

“Both of us?” I ask, cocking my brow.

She nods. “Like you said when we talked about Bella.”

“Not just for now, as in?”

“As in, we take it day by day and see where we end up, just like anyone who dates. Dimitri, nothing is guaranteed in this life; you know that more than most. But somehow, when I looked into your eyes on our wedding day, I knew you were the man for me. It rocked me to my very core. Your silent strength, your steadfast determination. All of it calls to me in a way I can’t explain. But Nik—”

“There it is.”

“You asked; I’m answering.” She runs her thumb over my bottom lip and keeps her eyes on mine, never wavering. “I can’t deny there’s more between Nik and me. There always will be, and not because of Bella.”

I nod. She’s spent the night with him a few times, and while I’ve hated having her away from me, I knew if I tried to keep her in my bed always, she would resent me.

“If that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll have. Assuming Nik agrees, but I doubt an atom in that man’s body could refuse you. And we will not justdate. After all of this ends, we need to have a plan—a destination—and it should be one we agree on together.”

She looks contemplative, and I see the moment she decides. “Deal. But you’re not mad at me? Or think I’m selfish for wanting my cake and eating it, too?”

“So long as I get to be the one to eat you, I don’t care, Eleanor. For so long, I’ve been lost. Uncaring, unmoved by anything. I’d forgotten who I was until I picked up a paintbrush again, and even now, half the time, it’s just an outlet for my anger. But with you, this deep sense of calm overwhelms me. You’re more than capable of handling yourself, and Christ knows I’ll likely be the last person you listen to on so many things, but the challenge doesn’t just excite me. It gives me a reason to keep fighting when all I want to do half the time is lie down and die, letting the rest of the wolves fight it out when I’m gone.”

“Don’t, Dimitri. Don’t you dare say that. Close this chapter and move on. Find what you want out of life when it’s not dictated by someone else. I will welcome you with open arms and a safe place to land if that’s me. But if it’s someone else—somewhereelse—I want you to take that risk and jump. You’re going to fly, husband dearest, and I can’t wait to watch you soar, whether from nearby or afar.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I keep her close, not giving an inch. “I want you with me. I have been overtaken, Eleanor. Body and soul, I am yours, and it will be a cold day in hell when I stop loving you.”

She doesn’t look surprised by my admission. If anything, the tension she’s been carrying for the last few days seems to melt away. And just like when I suggested we find a destination together, I see the moment she decides.

“I love you, too, Dimitri.”

At her words, I push closer, laying on her and finding my purpose for life in the space between our bodies. As I take her lips with mine, I groan into her mouth when she meets me with the same fervour I can’t keep at bay.

We’re a torrent of shredded clothes and flailing limbs as we free ourselves and clash like two thunderclouds intent on drowning the world.

I grip her neck, pulling her close as our lips war. Her tongue strokes mine, darting in and withdrawing before she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and grips it tight. She pulls back, and the bite into my flesh has me seeing stars. The pain and the pleasure, her scent, the feel of her soft skin on mine, her hands soothing and bruising all at once.

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