Page 57 of The Payback

“No,” I growl, my lips touching hers with the movement—the distance between us is only a hairsbreadth, but it’s still too much.

“Yes,” she hisses back. “You can’t do this. You can’t just take whatever you want, leaving me to pick up the pieces. It’s not fair to me, and I don’t fucking want it.”

I pull back, the hurt in her voice stabbing me in the chest with every word. She’s right. She deserves better, and I am no saint. I was selfish that night. I used our connection as a distraction and exploited it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” she shouts, surprising me with the vehemence in her tone.

“For hurting you. I will not apologise for the rest of it because if we’re talking about the diamond, I needed to do it. And if we’re talking aboutus, about finally giving in even though we’d fought the chemistry for the entirety of our partnership, then you’ll be waiting a long time for an apology. Because I am not sorry for our night.”

“Fuck you,” she spits. Her voice breaks, and before I can give her what she wants and walk away, she’s kissing me like her life depends on it.

Her tongue strokes against my lips, invading my mouth as I groan and clutch her closer. She dips in, teasing me, tasting me, making me want to crush her in my grip just to keep her closer—absorb her until she’s a part of me and can never break free.

“Why are you here, Ellie?” I rasp out when she pulls away to breathe. “Haunting me like a spectre I can’t escape? Tormenting me with every look, every touch, every time you fucking walk past me? Why?”

Ellie flinches in my arms, and I realise I’ve been gripping her too tightly. Angry at myself, at Danil, at Natasha, at the world. Everything I’ve kept boxed up comes spilling to the surface, overflowing until I’m drowning in my past.

“What do you mean,why? I’m Dimitri’s wife,” she counters, avoiding the question and raising my blood pressure. My heartbeat thrums in my ears, and my muscles coil with tension.

My heart pounds in my chest, unrelenting and irregular as the pain of that fact wraps around the useless muscle. And they are legally married, I checked.

I shift her off my lap, and she scrambles to get her feet under her. Heat rises in my body, lighting me up from the inside out. She knows that’s not the honest answer, and I won’t suffer lies. “Go, then.”

“Wh-What?”

“GET OUT!” I roar.

Her face contorts, and pain lances through me. “You know what? For a minute, I thought my partner wasn’t a total lie. That somewhere inside of you, his shadow still existed. But I was wrong, I guess.Again. Why don’t you go help your boss torture Alexei like the good little soldier you are?”

She slaps me, my cheek stinging, but it’s nothing compared to the pain I feel when that first tear falls because of me. Because of my stupid mouth and the lies I’ve spun around myself so tightly they wrap around me like a cocoon.

She bolts out of the room, leaving nothing more than the lingering scent of her perfume as I fall to my knees. What the fuck is happening to me?

My door closes with a soft snick, which feels much louder than a slam. She enters the suite next door, and I’m left alone with my misery again.

Tearing my shirt from my body, I ball it up and throw it into a corner as regret and anguish flood me, lighting my every nerve on fire. Sliding my hand under my mattress, I grab the flogger I keep there and grip the leather handle in my fist until it creaks under the strain. I lied. I stole. I coveted what wasn’t mine. And I tempted a married woman into breaking her vows.

The least I can do is pay for my sins in the only way I know how.

As I flick my wrist, the tails of the leather snap against my back. “One...”

CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO

Eleanor

Dimitri didn’t cometo bed last night—like he hasn’t since the Alexei thing a few weeks ago. He’s been holed up in his little secret lair murder room, and honestly, I think it’s for the best.

The morning light streams through the windows, doing nothing to improve my mood. I was awake until four, working out in the gym downstairs again and working out the moral dilemmas in my head.

I understand why it had to happen. Letting an attempt on our lives go unpunished would only invite more attempts. Showing weakness isn’t an option for Dimitri in his position.

And as far as Nik, well... he’s been in his room every night or shadowing Dimitri as they attend to the various businesses. While Dimitri films everything, I’ve been here, combing through footage and sending it to Agent Kim.

The shining light in the past seventy-two hours is that most of the girls have been returned to their families who have been searching for them. Only three were sold by their guardians, and those girls have been rehomed and given something better than returning to a shit home-life.

It pains me to think someone would reach such a level of desperation that they’re willing to sell their children to make ends meet. I know I’m privileged, and nothing reinforces that point harder than hearing when someone isn’t.

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