Page 91 of The Bachelor

“Why does it matter where you say it?” I asked. “What’s more important is that I hear it, right?”

He nodded, his hand leaving the gearshift again, this time landing on my leg. “I don’t know when it happened. Maybe when we were twelve. Maybe it was after the first lesson. I’m not sure. But something changed.” His fingers circled around my knee, gripping it, and I could feel the warmth of his skin through my jeans. “This is more to me than just lesson after lesson.”

If I’d thought my heart was pounding fast before, it was nothing compared to this. I was sure it even came through my voice when I whispered, “I know.”

“You feel it too?”

I tried to take in more air. “Yes.”

“Then, it won’t come as a surprise when I say”—his hand moved higher to the center of my thigh, around the side of it, where he wedged his fingers between the seat and me—“I can’t stop thinking about you. That even though I’m not sure how to do this and what exactlymorelooks like since it’s something I have no experience with, it’s what I want.” He went silent, his head shaking back and forth, and with each swipe, I watched him turn just a little more vulnerable. “Because at the end of all this, when we complete lesson five, there’s absolutely no way that I can even fathom letting you go.”

The pounding in my chest turned to an explosion, and for a second, I debated on whether I should make him grovel. If I should remind him of the warning he’d given me about not getting emotionally involved. If I should not reciprocate his confession and let him sweat it out, wondering when and if I was ever going to come around.

But that wasn’t me.

I wasn’t going to look at the man who I’d been crushing on since I was a girl and tell him a lie. I wasn’t going to make him wait to hear my truth.

I was going to take exactly what I wanted—what I’d always wanted.

So, when my lips parted, instead of responding, I moved the seat belt behind my back and threw my arms around him and pulled our bodies as close as I could get them. “Camden,” I said softly.

His face was in my neck, the roughness of his beard scraping my skin—a sensation that was so welcome. “I have so many feelings for you.”

My eyes closed, and I squeezed my lids together. “I’ve had feelings for you since I was twelve.”

He chuckled, a sound full of surprise and cuteness. “Really?”

“Really.”

I released him, knowing the light was going to turn at any second, and as we both glanced through the windshield, we saw that it already had.

He pulled his hand back but brought mine with it and set my palm on the gearshift, cupping my hand while he shifted. “I want to tell you something,” he voiced, his gaze still on the road. “I had every intention of using these lessons as a way to get you to change your mind. It’s not that I didn’t want to be the guy. I just wanted to make sure you knew what kind of guy I was. I thought these steps would give you a better picture. But, shit, Oaklyn, we’re on lesson three, and you haven’t wavered even a little on your decision. Not even after I asked you to get on your knees.”

“Nothing you can say will scare me.”

He rubbed his thumb across mine. “Unless it involves anal.”

I used my free hand to gently punch his arm. “You and anal. Seriously, I can’t even.”

He lifted my hand and kissed it before returning both to the gearshift. “I still want to follow through with the lessons. Enjoy things just the way I planned and take our time since there’s no reason to rush it.” He quickly glanced at me. “And I want to do the same with us. Go slow. See where things take us. Figure this all out together, given that this is all new to me and the physical part is new to you and we have the Hannah thing to deal with.” He paused. “Are you all right with that?”

That was everything I wanted. For us to feel each other out and learn how to make this work.

Besides, we couldn’t go public until we talked to Hannah, and I knew that was going to be a massive hurdle, one I wasn’t looking forward to.

But now that we’d had this conversation, I was curious how it was going to affect the upcoming lessons, especially tonight’s. If I would feel a change in Camden’s touch, in his reactions, in the way it all played out. If lesson four would really be something he’d never experienced before—an answer we’d semi-fought about through text and I’d told him the man I fell in love with would give me one of his firsts instead—or if it would be something he made me choose.

“Yes,” I said. “I like that idea.”

“Good.”

I couldn’t get the smile to leave my face. It felt like it was permanently etched there, that Camden Dalton wasn’t just a person, but an entire mood.

“You know I won President’s Club through my company, and today, I got one of the gifts, which is airfare and a stipend toward a hotel. I texted Hannah and asked her if she wanted to come on the trip with me, and we’re going in two weeks.” I shoved my hand between my knees as the weight of the secret suddenly hit me. “I’d better be careful with how much wine I drink while we’re gone because our little PI is going to try to get everything out of me and I can’t cave.”

“Where are you going?” He peeked at me before he turned at another light.

“Sedona. We’re staying at a Spade Hotel, and we’re going to spend our mornings hiking and our afternoons at the spa. I can’t wait.”

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