Page 108 of The Bachelor

His stare intensified, gazing between both of my eyes. “Just like my mom makes it.”

Growing up, I’d spent enough dinners at the Daltons’ house to know the meal that neither of their children ever missed. Mrs. Dalton was known for her lasagna—a dish that she had mastered so well that none of them ever bothered to order it in a restaurant because it wouldn’t compare to hers. If I was going to attempt to duplicate her signature dinner—one that I knew Camden loved more than anything—I needed to make sure it was perfect.

What I didn’t tell him was that I had made two batches, both completely different, to test which one came out better.

I was thoroughly impressed with the results.

“Not exactly like your mom’s, but similar-ish.”

This time, he just pecked me, leaving his lips lingering on mine while he said, “You know that’s my favorite.”

“And some homemade bread as well.”

There was no warning; he just scooped me up, moving so fast that I didn’t even have time to take a breath, and I was suddenly in his arms. My legs circled his waist, and my hands went around his shoulders. And while we stood in the middle of my kitchen, I expected him to set me on the counter.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t move at all.

He just held me, smiling.

“Looks like I picked the right thing to cook tonight,” I said, laughing.

He shook his head, but it wasn’t in agreement; it was more like he was in awe. “Oaklyn …” He didn’t say any more for several seconds. “There are moments, like when I watched you making breakfast in my kitchen this morning, and when you came into my office this afternoon, and now, when I just want to stare at you.”

“Why?”

“Why?” he mirrored, but he wasn’t challenging my question. It sounded like he was trying to come up with the right words. “I’ve always found you so incredibly beautiful. Ever since we were kids. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice all the times you bent over in front of me, or when you were in a bikini in our pool, or when I came to your apartment to visit my sister and you were walking around in workout clothes. But never during any of those times did I ever think I’d get to touch you. That I’d get to put my lips on you. That I’d get to be the first guy to be inside you.”

My heart was exploding not only from his candor, but from his expression too. The way his eyes were softening while he looked at me. How he saw me in a way that no other man ever had.

“There was so much fucking temptation every time I was around you. There were instances when I had to actually walk into another room, so I didn’t flirt my ass off with you or brush a piece of hair off your cheek—any excuse just to touch you and talk to you more. Because I knew that even though those were small acts, if I allowed myself to do them, they would lead to my hands wanting to be all over you.” His focus shifted from my right eye to my left, scanning equally back and forth. “You’ve always been this perfect girl in my mind, Oaklyn. Never did I believe we would be here. That every one of my desires would be coming true. That you would be mine. So, yeah, there are times when I just want to stare at you and remind myself that it isn’t a fucking dream. That I get to do this”—he pressed our lips together—“any goddamn time I want.”

I thought my heart couldn’t swell any larger.

But it happened.

My chest filled with so much emotion that I almost couldn’t hide it from my eyes.

“I know exactly what you mean. I’ve felt the same way for just as long.” I rubbed my nose against his cheek, inhaling his scent and feeling the roughness of his beard. “You have no idea how badly I want to talk to Hannah about you and just boast at the fact that I’ve finally gotten the man I’ve been dreaming about for all these years. How I want to put one of our selfies on Instagram. How I want us to go hiking at Runyon Canyon and go to my favorite restaurants and even a concert without the fear of running into one of the Daltons, who I swear are everywhere in this city so we’ll inevitably bump into one of them.”

“I promise you’re going to get all of that very soon.”

A worry came over me.

One that made me want to clarify and say, “Camden, I don’t want you to think I’m rushing us. This pace is perfect. I’m not trying to force us into something you’re not comfortable with. I just hate that we have to be a secret.”

“Stop.” He kissed me. “I want everything you want. You’re not alone in this.” He continued to gaze into my eyes, holding me like I was weightless. “How about right before you go to Arizona with Hannah? That’ll give us a little more time, and we’ll have a better idea of what things look like between us. You’ll get to clear your conscience and then take off to the mountains with her.”

I took a deep breath. “Ugh, I don’t know if that’s the best idea. I almost think we should tell her after we get back. What if she’s so mad that she won’t want to go? Or it could turn our trip into something awful.”

“Then, we’ll tell her when you get back.”

“Okay.” I filled my lungs again. “I like that plan.”

Just having something set in motion gave me the smallest amount of relief. It was this in-between, this waiting, this unknown that was eating at me.

“Once we tell her,” he said, “nothing is going to change between us. I want you to know that.”

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