Page 23 of Cross the Line

“I’ll be fine.” He nods as I stand from the couch and grab my phone before walking out the door.

I walk down the block, just taking everything in. The trees, the grass, the things I’ve taken for granted. I pull my cell out and stare at Cross’s name. It would be so easy just to call him. I debate it and then finally dial his number. I listen to it ring as chills run up my spine. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be calling him.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Raven? Are you okay?”

“I’m good. I … I just needed to hear your voice,” I tell him. It’s not a lie.

“You walked away from me.”

“I had to. I couldn’t say goodbye, Cross. It was too much.”

“You feel somethin’ for me, Raven. You can’t tell me you don’t,” he says.

“I’m not saying I don’t. There’s just too much going on for me to stay with you.”

“Let me help you.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not? I wanna help you, Raven.”

“I know you do, but this is something I have to do on my own,” I tell him.

“Then why’d you call?” He sounded pissed off that I called him, but I needed to. I needed to hear his voice and know what I was doing was right. I needed this.

“I needed to hear your voice,” I tell him. He blows out a breath I can hear over the line.

“This is fucked up, Raven. You shouldn’t have left,” he tells me.

“I have to finish things,” I remind him.

“I could have helped you. I get it, wantin’ to do this on your own but fuck, Raven.”

“You miss me.” It isn’t a question. It’s a statement, and I can tell by the tone of his voice.

“Of course I fuckin’ miss you! What the fuck did you think?”

“I thought you’d go back to Cara and be happy.”

“Don’t you get it? You made me happy, Raven. You.”

“I can’t do this right now, Cross.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both. I have to finish this, and by the time I’m done, you will hate me.” It’s the truth. Once he learns what I’ve done, it’ll be too late. Everything will be over and done.

“I can’t hate you, Raven. Don’t you get that?” he asks, causing my heart to swell.

“I need to go,” I whisper. If I don’t hang up now, I’ll never be able to.

“Don’t do this, Raven. Don’t shut me out,” he says. My heart can’t take this. I can’t take this. I pull the phone away from my ear, but I can still hear him saying my name. Tears spring to my eyes and slowly fall down my cheeks as I press the end call button. I need to pull myself together before I go back home. I reach up and wipe the tears before turning and walking back toward the house with my heart in my throat. God, I miss that man.

Chapter Thirteen

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