Page 22 of Cross the Line

“You’re not eating,” he says, nodding toward my food. I pick at my fries, popping one into my mouth before smiling back at him.

“My stomach is still a little off,” I tell him. He nods his head as if he understands, but he can’t.

“It’ll get better. What do you want to do today?”

“I thought maybe we could go shopping. Get some stuff to redo the bathroom. We talked about that, remember?” Luke nods his head as he finishes off his food.

“We can do that.”

“Okay. Thanks, Luke.”

“Don’t thank me. I want to do things for you and with you, Raven.” His words make me sick. Just hearing them repeat in my head causes me to cringe.

“Are you okay with all this?” I ask him. I was gone for a while, and I know why. He doesn’t know that I know and that gives me all the ammo I need to see this shit through.

“I’m just glad you’re back,” he says. I watch him finish his meal. All of it. It makes a small smile curve my lips, knowing what I’m doing to him. He trusted me, and that was his first mistake. He shouldn’t trust me. He shouldn’t trust a thing I do for him because it all comes with a price.

“I’m glad to be back,” I tell him as I stand and collect the dishes. I walk over to the sink and place them in when I feel his hands slide around my waist. I cringe, my stomach threatening to expel everything I just ate. His fingers slip under the front of my shirt, and I find myself trying not to react. Everything in me says to run, but I know I can’t. I know I have to be stronger if I’m going to get through this.

“Can we go slower?” I ask, trying to get him to leave me alone. I need his hands off me before I say or do something I might regret. His lips come to rest on my neck, and a shiver runs through my body, not the good kind. It’s the sick kind. The kind that causes vomit to rise in your throat.

“We can go as slow as you need,” he says before pressing another kiss to my neck. I pray to God he doesn’t want to go any further. He pulls away from me as I think the words, and I let out a breath of relief.

“I have some friends coming over later,” he announces, and my skin crawls. I know his kind of friends. I know what they do and who they are.

“Do they have to?”

“Yeah, they do. We’re just going to hang out and have a little fun.” I know what that fun is. Drugs. That’s what got us in this situation. Him and his damn drugs.

“I’ll stay in the room.”

“No. You’ll stay with me. That’s the whole point of us being together, isn’t it?” I want to say no. I want to tell him to fuck off because this will end at some point anyway. And the sooner that happens, the better off we’ll all be.

“Okay,” I agree softly, trying to play the complacent girlfriend. I finish washing the dishes and put them into the cabinet after drying them before I turn and head into the bathroom. Stripping out of my clothes, I turn the shower on and climb in. Cold water hits my flesh, and I shiver.

The water slowly turns warm, and I let it envelop me in its warmth. Closing my eyes, I try to tune out my surroundings. I try to picture myself someplace else. Someplace I want to be.

With him. With Cross. I remember him touching me, caressing me. Holding me. I let my hands wander all over my body, picturing Cross the whole time. I want him touching me, and maybe if it’s meant to be, he will be real one day. He’ll be back in my arms.

No. That can never happen again. None of that will ever happen again, and I know it. But I can let my imagination run wild. And I do.

My hand slowly slides over my breast, tugging at my nipple as I picture Cross’s mouth covering me. I tug and pull, feeling that warmth inside of me. With my other hand, I let it slide down my stomach and between my legs. I slowly slip a finger inside of me. I find myself moaning slightly, just thinking about Cross touching me.

I work my finger in and out as I caress the rest of my body under the steam from the warm water. I picture Cross’s hands all over my body, his lips. The warmth of his body pressed against mine. I can remember the feel of his body, the heat, the warmth, the hardness. Fuck I miss him.

I pull my finger free from my pussy and circle my clit. Warmth floods my body from the inside out, and I find myself coming quicker than I thought I would. My body pulses and trembles. When I finally catch my breath, I grab the soap and wash quickly. I climb out and tie the towel around myself. I reach up and wipe the mirror and look at myself.

What am I doing? Does he deserve this? In my mind, he does. In my heart, he does. He did this to me. He ruined me, and now it’s my turn to ruin him. I shake all the thoughts away. He deserves what he gets. Luke made this happen, and I must remind myself of that fact.

I dry myself and put on my clothes before leaving the bathroom. That’s when I hear Luke’s friends are here. I tentatively walk into the living room to see them talking and laughing. That’s not all their doing. Drugs. The reason I was in the position I was in.

“Hey, Raven. It’s nice to see you,” one of the guys says. My insides clench as I smile and take a seat next to Luke. As usual, I’m offered drugs, which I don’t take. That isn’t my thing.

“You sure?” Luke asks. “It’ll help you relax,” he says.

“I’m good. You guys have fun. I think I’m going for a walk.”

“By yourself?” he asks, sounding concerned.

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