Page 11 of Cross the Line

We load our plates and walk back outside, sitting at one of the tables. I pop a grape into my mouth as I watch the waves crash on the shore. It’s so beautiful here. If I were the fairy tale type, this would be it. I would live here, near the beach. I could listen to the waves all day long and not get tired of hearing them.

“Tell me,” Cross’s voice pulls my attention back to him.

“Tell you what?”

“What you were thinkin’ about.”

“I was just thinking if life were normal, I would love a place on the beach like this. Just listening to the waves is relaxing.”

“Why can’t you have it?” he asks as he eats his food. I watch him grab his beer and take a long pull before staring at me.

“Life isn’t normal. At least mine isn’t.”

“It could be your new normal,” he says.

“That would be nice, but it isn’t doable.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know if I will be staying around here after everything is said and done.” I see the look in his eyes. I know he doesn’t like to hear that, and I don’t like to say it, but it is what it is. I don’t think sticking around after dealing with Luke will be an option.

“Then change your plans,” he suggests with a shrug.

“I can’t. I’ve thought about it. More than I care to admit, and every time it comes back to the same thing. It’s just something I have to do, Cross. I don’t think I can move forward without finishing this,” I admit to him. I have thought it over. The idea of not handling things the way I’d been planning and staying with Cross weighed heavily on my mind and heart, but he has Cara. He has a life that doesn’t include me as a permanent person. His girlfriend is his rock. Not me.

“I don’t know what you’re thinkin’, but things change all the time, Raven.”

“I was thinking about you and Cara. How great something like that could be.”

“We don’t talk about her,” he growls.

“I know we don’t, but it’s been on my mind. She seems like a nice girl, Cross.”

“She’s too nice. Besides, I’ve been thinkin’ about callin’ things off with her.” No. He can’t do that. I know why he thinks that, and I won’t be the reason. I slam my fork down on the table and stand to my feet, glaring at him.

“Don’t you dare use me as the reason you break up with her,” I snarl at him.

“It is what it is, yeah?”

“No, it isn’t, Cross. There will never be something more for us, and you know it,” I remind him.

“Doesn’t mean I’m happy, Raven. Do I want more with you? Yeah, I do, but I’ll take what I can get. Cara, she just doesn’t do it for me.” His words are like a brick to the chest. Is he trying to say I do it for him? That I could be someone that he sees himself with in the future? I’ve made it clear that I can’t do that. That will never happen, and it won’t, especially when he finds out the truth.

“She doesn’t do it for you? What the hell does that mean?”

“It means she doesn’t do it for me. She doesn’t make me feel the way you do. I don’t want to bend her over and fuck her. I don’t feel that connection with her. I don’t feel the electricity between us that I feel when I’m with you.” Oh my god. He feels that too. Just like I do.

“There can’t be anything between us, Cross,” I repeat, even though he already knows.

“I know. Doesn’t change what I feel.” This is going to end badly. I can feel it. When this is all over, when I have to drag myself away from him finally, things will hit hard.

Chapter Seven

Cross

I won’t lie and say Raven’s words haven’t lingered in my head. I won’t deny that they didn’t hit me hard either because they did. I also can’t lie to myself about this thing between us. I can’t force her into anything, nor would I want to. If she wants me, she can have me. I’ve already decided to break things off with Cara. That had nothing to do with Raven, though.

“Are you listenin’?” I look up when Drake finally speaks and nod my head even though I was zoning out thinking about her.

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