Page 32 of Room 13: Bred By the Bears

It was a punch to my solar plexus.

Now all Iwanted to do was show her how I could take care of her. Thatwecould. The three of us had the means to provide her with a beautiful home she could fill with her visions. There was an empty room upstairs we used as a makeshift office if we ever needed to host Zoom meetings or conference calls. I’d give it to her so she could paint. If she still painted. We’d never gotten clarity on that.

“Put a baby in me, Ryker,”she’d said.

I’d give her babies. As many babies as she wanted. I’d fill her with babies. And when she got sick of popping out red heads with blue green eyes that were a combination of the two of us, I’d pass her over to Armel or Obsidian and they could make babies with her too.

I hadn’t been able to resist. Even though the shower was supposed to be about care and not sex. But she was so soft. The request too earnest to pass up. And so I did. I rocked into her, pinning her hips against the shower wall. Pressing into her in shallow pumps. Slow and gentle. Whispering things like “Oh sweetness, you like it soft and slow. We don’t always have to be hard. We can be soft too. Just like this.”And promising her things like “One day we’ll make a baby for real. Me and you.”

My orgasm snuck up on me. We’d been so lost in the twisting pleasure of a journey with no destination that I hadn’t even noticed the tell-tale signs of my impending finale. I didn’t even have time to warn Miele. But it didn’t matter, the moment mine started, it tripped hers, and we came within moments of one another.

“How would we work?” Obi asked in the car. Shit if I knew. But we’d figure it out. That’s what our trip to Troublesome Creek was about. Figuring some shit out. Showing her we were in it. Even if she said she didn’t want it. Maybe she didn’t really mean it. Maybe she was afraid to hope her wildest dreams could really come true. And I wanted to show her they could.

“It’s a cabin, Casey. We’re not at the Ritz. You have permission to make it look exactly how you want it to. Don’t feel obligated to fit expectations of what hotels offer. If you want oversized leather sofas in here, next to that fireplacedo it. In fact, why don’t we look at oversized modular sofas with interchangeable ottomans. That way if it’s a super large group there are pieces that could come in and out. And if there are smaller groups the sofa can be split apart into smaller pairings.”

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Casey pulled her into a hug. “There are too many details. It’s overwhelming.”

He saw me over her shoulder, holding his hand up to wave at me with a warm smile. Miele must have felt the shift in his body. She turned to see where Casey’s focus had been drawn. It had been a risk coming unannounced. The potential for her to throw me out on a screaming rage taunted me from deep inside my subconscious. Instead, when she turned, her eyes went wide and her mouth puckered. And then as if she remembered she was southern and proper, she slapped on a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and walked toward me.

“Armel had business with Odin,” I blurt out. “We hitched a ride.”

“It’s like your ears were burning.” She strode up next to me and wound her arm around my bicep. “I was just telling Casey how perfectly your art would complement our ideas forThe Lodge. That’s what we’ve decided to call the big house. It makes it sound more camp-like.”

“Sure,” I told her looking around the room. “When we get home I’ll take you to my studio, you can pick out whatever pieces you want from my private collection. Or if you have a specific idea just let me know. I’ll make you anything you want.”

I felt like we were in an alternate universe. My feet stood firmly planted in Montana, looking at Miele and Casey. I felt Miele’s soft skin, and took in her soft orange blossom scent. But it was likeshewasn’t here.MyMiele. The one from the shower. The one I felt so immensely connected to. This was a stand in. Like the body doubles actors called in to do the sex scenes. I didn’t want the body double. I wanted her.

“Have you met the others yet?” Casey asked all warm smiles and effusive charm. “We’re packed to the gills! My brother’s family, his wife’s best friend, and her other close friend. Troublesome Creek hasn’t yet seen this much activity. It’s exciting but also a bit…” He wiped his hand across his face, pressing against his forehead before smoothing back his hair. “It’s chaos. Total chaos. But the best kind. I don’t know where everyone else is, but my best guess is at the lake.”

That sounded like athanks for stopping by we have shit to do. That was fine. I didn’t want to be there anymore anyway. Not with fake Miele and her painted on smile.

I surprised her by coming up here. She hadn’t invited us. I’d expected a less than warm welcome. I almost wished she would have yelled at me. Yelling would have been preferable to a total lack of emotion. That did more than just sting. It hurt.

twenty

The soundof the door clicking shut felt like a kick in my ass. I saw the confusion in Ryker’s eyes. He’d looked so excited when he walked in. Cautious, like he didn’t know whether or not his appearance would be a good thing. But he smiled at me the same way he had when I’d talked to him about his sculptures. Pleased. Soothed. Like he’d just come inside from a winter storm, and I was the fire he warmed himself by.

“So want to tell me what all that was about?” Casey nudged my shoulder with his, handing me a bottle of water.

“Not really, no.”

That wasn’t true. It probably would help to have someone listen. I was a tangled bramble of confusion and who better than someone else in the kink community to help me untangle myself.

“You know I love and support you, no matter what.”

Being friends with Casey was effortless. I’d never had someone like him before. Not out in the “real world.” We’d happened upon one another accidentally. A chance encounter as we worked on a design project together. I’d overheard a phone call where he was telling his then girlfriend that Daddy would be home soon and take care of all her aches and tingles. And I’d nearly come, right there, in the middle of that mixed use urban space.

I’d never engaged in Daddy play, though I called RykerDaddywhile we’d all fucked out in their backyard and shit did that feel good. But that isn’t what I felt confused about. Calling him Daddy was simply another layer of kink play to explore. To find out what other things turned us on as we further explored our relationship.

Relationship. I needed to stop. We weren’t in a relationship.

“Jason was an asshole, Miele. You know this, right? He didn’t deserve you.”

“So instead, I need three guys to feel satisfied? And not even really satisfied. I need those three men to whisper lies in my ear just to come.”

“It’s a fantasy, Miele. Kink play is about indulging in our fantasies.”

“A fantasy I desperately want to be a reality. And you and I both know that it’s just a pretty lie. Repeated visits to a pretend world that doesn’t and won’t ever exist.”

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