Page 19 of I Will Find You

If he’d violated me, I would be ruined.

And ruin means death. Death at my own hand. It is in The Manual, and how it must be.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Jason saved you. The Prophecy above all.”

“The Prophecy above all,” I repeat, my skin nothing but shame come to life.

“You are so close, my dear,” she whispers and then mutes the sound. Her closed fist goes to her mouth, and she coughs. Coughs hard, until she finally stops, her eyes a bit watery when she looks back at the camera. For years, I tried to guess her age. Fifty? Sixty? Seventy? When I asked Jason, he said she was timeless.

Why the coughing?

The sound returns and she clears her throat, sipping from a glass off camera. “In less than three weeks we will be reunited. For thirteen years, you have only seen me through video. Your Ritual was beautiful.”

Instinct makes me reach for my hip, my fingers caressing a spot.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Rudy never did more than the inappropriate touching, did he?” Her tone is sharp. Judgmental.

Interrogative.

“No! He started to do it today. I warned him. Told him it would lead to his death. He said he did not care.”

“Such a shame,” she says, shaking her head. Another wracking cough comes from her, too fast for her to hit the mute button. It sounds awful, like marbles in mud, coming down a pipe.

When she is done, her eyes are red.

“Mother? Are you ill?”

The smile she gives me is weirdly sad and happy at the same time.

“I am, Paigelynn. But soon I will be well.”

“Before I see you at my wedding?”

One blink, then two, make it clear my question flummoxes her. The Mother is always composed. She has taught me what it means to be a woman, a wife – a queen.

Soon I will rule over her. Soon, with my King, we will rule over all.

“Shortly after,” is all she says, with her smile returning quickly, making my breath come out fast. Relief floods me.

The Mother is my lifeline to being the best possible queen I can be. No one is more important to me right now.

Other than my future husband.

“I am grateful you can be healed,” I say to her in a rush of words. “The world needs you.”

“All that I need is right here, Paigelynn. You are what I need most.”

Pride fills me. Being so important to her makes me feel so blessed.

“Thank you, Mother. I am honored.”

“I must go, Paigelynn, but remember: no man can touch you in ways that turn you impure. You must resist.”

“I did, Mother. I did resist.”

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