Page 2 of Allie's Enforcer

Last weekend, I decided to buy paint and get started. It’s the only way I’ll ever be able to fit this project into my busy schedule. I wince at the thought of inviting Allie into my messy house, but we have to sort this shit out.

“Why don’t you come in and we see what’s going on here?” I need to check my confirmation and see what the hell happened. Then I can switch gears and throw myself into wooing Allie. In an instant, all of my priorities change, and winning her heart becomes the most important. All the rest can wait until I know my curvy little honey bun is mine forever.

“I’d prefer just to leave this with you.” She shoves the bag into my hand and takes a step back. “If it’s the wrong book, you can come by Gatsby Books whenever you have the chance and exchange it. Scarlett, my partner, will be happy to help you.”

Before I’m able to pull my head from my ass and stop her, my soulmate hops in her car and pulls away like the hounds of hell are nipping at her heels.

Soon, very soon, little honey bun, I’m going to make sure you don’t ever get away from me again.

I step back into my living room and pull open the black bag. I blink several times as I pull the book out and see purple tentacles on the cover. Blinking, I flip through it. Holy shit. This isn’t the latest Slade Gray book. There are things happening in this book that blow my mind. Eight fucking cocks?

I feel the floor drop out from beneath me as a thought occurs to me. My fucking soulmate thinks I read this shit. There’s only one, maybe two men brave enough to do this shit to me.

I trip over another fucking box as I rush through the house looking for my phone. Once I find it on my dresser, I scroll down to find the group chat with Grizz, my brother-in-law, otherwise known as PIMAD or pain-in-my-ass-dickhead, and Giant asshole.

Me

I’m going to ax murder whoever sent this shit to me. It’s going to be slow and painful.

I’msure they’re waiting for me to text once I received their little present.

Giant asshole

Come again?

PIMAD

He’s finally lost it. I told you it was coming.

Me

Fuck both of you. Who sent me the goddamn tentacle porn book?

There’sa good minute or so pause before the next text comes in.

Giant asshole

Tentacle porn? I really want to take credit for that. It’s goddamn brilliant. I fucking wish I’d thought of it.

PIMAD

I just spit coffee all over my desk. Please send me a photo of the book in question.

Meetingmy soulmate blew my goddamn mind. It’s the only excuse I can think of for stupidly sending a photo of the book.

Me

The girl from the bookstore is my goddamn soulmate, and she thinks I read this shit.

PIMAD

Now I see what’s going on. You’re embarrassed that your girl caught onto your peculiar desires before you could pull the wool over her eyes.

This asshole is tryingmy patience. Before I’m able to respond, another message comes in from Grizz.

PIMAD

Don’t worry. There nothing wrong with having a monster fetish. You do you.

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