“Yeah, but don’t finish it.” Albin took the bottle back and held it against his chest. “You look like you could drink the whole bottle if I let you.”
I sat back in the chair and stretched my legs out in front of me. “Normally, I would tell you that you didn’t need to worry, but today is different.”
Albin blinked. “I know what you mean. This isn’t how the night was supposed to go.”
I looked at the window over his shoulders and squinted. “How long do you think we’ll be here?”
“A few hours if the wolves don’t break in first,” Albin replied with a frown. “I’m going to move some things in front of the door. Better safe than sorry.”
Wordlessly, I rose to my feet and helped him. Between the two of us, we managed to move a few chairs around and a large table. I was covered in sweat when we were done. Albin sank back into the chair opposite me and held his hands up to the fire, a strange expression on his face.
“You okay?”
Albin tilted his head in my direction. “We should keep drinking. It’s really cold.”
I shivered and picked the bottle of wine up off the floor. “I don’t get why people don’t like to drink alone. I don’t mind it.”
“It’s a lot less sad, I guess.”
I snorted. “I’m drinking with you, and I’m still sad. I don’t feel like it makes a difference.”
“You were sad before I found you.”
I lowered the bottle and handed it to him. “True, but so were you.”
Albin took a long sip and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. “It is what it is.”
The warmth in the center of my stomach was blossoming and unfurling. Fuzzy spots began to dance in my field of vision. For a while, we sat there in silence until another strong gust of wind began, and I inched closer to Albin, desperate for the proximity. While the wine didn’t drive away any thoughts of Louis, it helped me see him in a different light.
All I could see was the selfish, self-absorbed man he was.
Always prioritizing himself and belittling what I did.
For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why I started dating him to begin with, other than the fact that I didn’t want to be alone, and I liked the attention.
It was pathetic.
“What’s pathetic?”
I ran a hand over my face. “I didn’t know I said the last part out loud.”
Albin sat up straighter and studied me. “You did.”
I stood up and folded my arms over my chest. “I was thinking of how pathetic I am for thinking that a man like my ex was going to treat me right. Why did I even think I was going to be different? It’s not like I didn’t know what kind of man Louis was.”
Albin pressed his lips together and didn’t say anything.
“But I still told myself it didn’t matter and that I was going to be the one to change him. It’s stupid, I know, but I did it anyway. I let myself fall for a man I knew wasn’t right for me. Why do people do that?”
“Hope? Faith? I don’t know.”
“Hope and faith are stupid,” I told him, with a lift of my chin. “We’re all just better off being straightforward with each other and not relying on each other, especially men. Men are so unreliable. Why are they?”
“Why do women make it hard to be reliable?”
My hands fell to my sides, and I ran a hand over my face. “I tried really hard, you know. I did everything Louis wanted, even when I didn’t want to, and I told myself it was because I loved him, but I don’t even know if that’s true. I think I just loved the way he made me feel.”
I didn’t realize I was crying until my shoulders started shaking. With a sniff, I ran a hand over my face, and my lower lip trembled. “I may not have loved Louis, but I cared about him. Now I’m all alone.”