Chapter 1
Martha
I pressed a hand over my ear and glanced over my shoulders. “Hold on; I can’t hear you properly. Let me see if I can find somewhere quiet.”
With that, I pushed open the double doors of the kitchen and wove in and out of the serving staff, piling steadily out of the doors and into the restaurant. Steam rose through the air and curled. I waved a hand in front of my face and coughed, ignoring the strong smells wafting through the air. Then I went into the locker room and slammed the door shut behind me. Through the doors, I heard the banging of pots and pans together, punctuated by the occasional sound of the chef yelling out instructions at everyone.
I ran a hand over my face and stood up straighter. “I never promised I would be there for the Christmas ball, Louis. I said I was going to try and be there.”
“It’s Christmas, Mar,” Louis pointed out. “Why would you want to spend it at that dump anyway?”
“First of all, the coffee shop is not a dump, and second, it’s two days before Christmas. You know how busy this time of year is for us, and I make good money here.”
And Kane, my high-strung boss with a permanent scowl on his face, would never let me take a few days off for Christmas. While I had worked hard to prove myself and earn a living over the past two years, as plenty of other employees came and went, it wouldn’t matter one bit to Kane.
All he was going to see was everything I lacked.
He reminded me a lot of my mother like that.
Whenever she looked at me, I always got the sense she only saw my flaws.
Louis exhaled. “Fine, I just thought it would be fun to spend the holidays together, but I guess I was wrong. I’ll talk to you later.”
Before I could respond, he hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear, stared at it, and ignored the bile in the back of my throat. With a sigh, I tucked my phone back into my pocket and cast a quick glance in the direction of the small mirror hung above the sink on the other side of the room. I grimaced at my reflection before I went back outside and into the hustle and bustle of the restaurant.
I could barely hear myself think above the Christmas music playing through the overhead speakers and the steady rise and fall of conversation around me. After scanning the room to make sure Kane hadn’t caught me sneaking into the back, I stepped behind the bar and reached for my rag. As soon as I did, I locked eyes with Mary, the other bartender on shift, and she gave me a small smile.
For the rest of the night, I couldn’t get Louis’s words out of my head.
Even though we’d been dating for a year, he still felt as far removed from my world as he was when I first met him. As the only child of two high-powered lawyers, Louis didn’t know the first thing about having a job or hustling for every cent that he spent. Time and again, I’d tried to explain to him what it was like for me, being forced to work multiple part-time jobs all while attending college classes during the day, but he never seemed to get it.
As far as he was concerned, it was my parents’ job to support me.
My parents, on the other hand, couldn’t have cared less.
Having divorced when I was still in high school and gone on to live in separate states, neither of them paid much attention to what I did. My dad lived somewhere up North with his new family and sent the occasional holiday card when he remembered, and my mom, who had her hands full with the twins, rarely paid any attention to me. Although I lived in the apartment above her garage, I might as well not have existed at all for her.
On the rare occasions when she did acknowledge my existence, it was only to criticize me.
Louis was one of two people who still knew I existed and cared.
And it made it hard for me to justify spending the holidays away from him for a high-paying job I hated.
At the end of my long shift, I found myself in Kane’s office, handing in my resignation. He stared at me for a long time before his face twisted into a sneer, and he shook. Heart thumping steadily against my chest, I hurried out of his office and into the locker room to clear out my things. On my way out, I gave Mary a quick hug and cast a quick look around the bar, with its mismatched tables and chairs scattered throughout the bar in no particular order, and the patrons who were all wasted and talking over each other.
I wasn’t going to miss this place at all.
Outside, I shivered and tightened my coat around me. With a smile, I got into my car, tossed my bag onto the passenger seat, and backed out of the parking lot. I kept one hand on the wheel, and the other fiddled with the radio dial. Christmas music filled my small car as I leaned forward and squinted through the windshield. Then I flicked on the windshield wipers and exhaled. When I pulled up outside the address Louis gave me on the other side of town, I was beaming so hard my mouth hurt.
Christmas lights hung out front, along with several men and women in white and red outfits. They all greeted me with a smile as I hurried through the double doors and into the hotel. Inside, I ducked into the festively lit spacious ballroom and scanned the crowd for Louis, getting a few curious looks in return.
In my jeans and t-shirt, I stood out amongst the dresses and the suits, but I didn’t care.
All I cared about was finding my boyfriend.
Until I spotted him underneath a large bay window, bathed in moonlight, with his arms around a red haired woman dressed like a cheerleader. She leaned into his touch and tilted her head back. In horror, I watched as the two of them began to kiss, with Louis pulling her closing to him, his hands moving to her behind. In a daze, I crossed over to them and stopped when I was a few feet away.
They didn’t pull apart right away, and when they did, Louis gave me a once-over before turning back to his date. “I thought you weren’t going to make it.”