Page 37 of Curvy Love

@TheZMan: I’m sure Ezra would love to be called lovely.

@PsychedelicAlmond: I just meant that he was unexpectedly kind.

@TheZMan: That’s all? Just kind?

@PsychedelicAlmond: It’s not polite to compliment one man when you’re speaking to another.

@TheZMan: I was unaware that was a rule.

@PsychedelicAlmond: It’s not a rule. I mean everyone knows the man is attractive.

@TheZMan: So, you thought he was attractive?

@PsychedelicAlmond: Yes, he’s pretty, but still too arrogant for my taste. Besides, physical traits are short lived and unimportant. I’m more interested in who a person is than I am in what he looks like.

@PsychedelicAlmond: Do you want to meet?

I cringe after I type the words, somehow afraid that he will see through me. That he might sense prevarication. That he’ll notice I didn’t say I wasn’t attracted to Ezra. Just that other things are more important to me.

I didn’t lie to TheZMan, but I also didn’t admit the whole truth. I just told him the truth as I want it to be.

Yes, Ezra Carlisle is attractive, but no amount of physical zing can match the emotional connection I feel to TheZMan. And the whole truth is that I’m hoping when I meet TheZMan—if I meet him—I’ll have both the physical and the emotional.

So I sit there at my laptop, waiting breathlessly for him to answer. It takes longer than I expect and my heart sinks. What will I do if he says no? This beta software trial ends in a few days. Once it ends, I’ll have no way of contacting him. I hate thinking that I’ll never meet my ZMan in person.

@TheZMan: Tomorrow. Two o’clock. Come to the office and I’ll leave a note with security to send you to the right place.

@PsychedelicAlmond: See you then.

Relief floods my body.

Still, I can’t help worrying about how long it took him to answer. I swear I could feel his hesitancy through the internet connection.

Did I imagine it or is there a reason he doesn’t really want to meet me?

For the first time, it occurs to me that he could be married. Or gay. Or in a long term relationship. Or only dates skinny, model-esque beauties. None of that feels right, based on what I know of him. But how well do you really know a person if you only know them through writing? And I’ve not shared huge details about myself—mostly my work—with him and so surely he’s done the same.

In the end, though, I want to meet him. Even if he is married or gay or unavailable. If all we ever are is friends, that will be okay. Because I enjoy his company and his advice.

And frankly, I’m torn. ZMan is amazing, as best I can tell from our exchanges. But Ezra Carlisle was not what I was expecting. He was charming and kind and made all of my girl parts stand up and notice him.

I blow out a breath. I suppose if things with ZMan are awkward or weird or he’s a sixty-year old married man, then I’ll make use of Ezra’s card that he gave me. I saw the card that he handed Jill. It was for a VP. But my card is his, with his cell hand written on the back.

The card I have is proof that Ezra Carlisle is available and interested, even if ZMan isn’t.

Oh, but I still hope ZMan is and that he wants me too.

chapterfifteen

Paisley

I should not be doing this.

I’ve repeated that to myself at least thirty times this morning, and yet, it hasn’t stopped me. It didn’t stop be from getting ready, including shaving all my parts. It didn’t stop me from putting on a flirty dress that’s black with big white polka dots. And why yes, I am wearing the cherry red matching panties and bra that I bought specifically for this dress. Whatever.

The combination of the dress and the red lingerie makes me feel like a sexy Minnie Mouse. Pretty undergarments make me feel confident and when you’re going to meet someone new, you should always feel confident. And seriously, I’ve seen some of the Halloween costumes that the college girls wear, sexy Minnie Mouse is a thing. As is sexy Big-Bird and that’s just all kinds of f-ed up.

I am so full of shit.

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