Page 51 of Claiming His Bollywood Cinderella

“Rethink what? God, Naina, look at me and say whatever the hell is going on in that head of yours.”

“I don’t know if I can marry you.” She spat the words out and he could see the anger in her now. But it didn’t touch him. Couldn’t touch him.

If it did, he would be lost. And despite everything life had thrown at him, he had never allowed anything to make him into that lost creature that depended on someone else for its emotional well-being, like his father had his mother. “Either it’s a yes or a no.”

Naina saw the instant the shutter fell down over his features. As if it was simply a matter of pulling down a curtain. She suddenly wished she’d gone into his arms. When he touched her, when he held her, it felt like nothing and no one could hurt her. Like nothing could ever come between them.

“I love you, Vikram. So much. That’s what makes this complicated.”

“You have a funny way of showing you love me, Dream Girl. Just like the entire world.”

“You’re right. That you proposed to Zara in a crazy moment doesn’t change anything. Maybe you hid it from me because it’s such an uncharacteristic thing for you to have done. Because you hate weaknesses, don’t you? You’d hate for anybody to think you needed someone in your life. But I do understand one thing now.”

“And what is that?”

“That this marriage would mean completely different things to us both. For me, it meant entering into a holy bond with a man I love, and trust. A man who’d give me his highest commitment.

“But for you, it’s a way of locking me down. A way of having what you want without the messy tangle of emotions to impede you. A way of giving me everything, the entire world, without actually giving me the one thing you should give.

“You’re a businessman in this too, Vikram, as you are in everything you do. I’m a no-risk investment. That’s why this is easy for you.

“I was awed by the fact that not only did you want to be with me but that you wanted to spend your whole life with me. I thought that was the ultimate commitment. For all the clever words you give me, I’m never going to be your equal in our marriage because you’ll always hold part of yourself back. Because you have nothing to lose by marrying me and everything to gain.

“I deserve more than that. So I need time and distance from you to properly think this over. I need to—”

“Distance and time are not going to change a thing. I had years to become what I am today, Naina. This is another foolish demand of so-called romantic love...this expectation that people will change for you, that suddenly they can grow new personalities, that one morning, I’ll wake up and absolutely believe in love...is downright ridiculous. You’re giving up what’s real, what’s here, for some fantasy version of life that’s not true.”

She nodded then. “You truly think this is only about three little words? Or about asking you to change for me?”

“Then what the hell is it that you want from me?”

“Nothing. I do love you. I’ll always love you because you made me love myself, Vikram. You gave me myself back. No one else did that for me. And if I agree to marry you knowing what I do now, if I continue this pattern of loving you so much, worried that I might lose you at some point because you don’t feel the same, then I’m right back where I started. Do you see?

“This is me doing what you’re always urging me to do—protecting myself from hurt. From people who would use my love and affection to achieve what they want, what’s best for them.

“See, what you’ve been preaching to me all along has finally sunk in. I’m doing what’s best for me.”

She turned away from him, every inch of her trembling. Every cell in her hoping that he would swallow the distance between them and take her into his arms. But also just as terrified that if he did, she wouldn’t be able to help herself from going back to him.

In her misery, it took her a few minutes to hear the silence behind her. She’d thought it would hurt less if she was the one who walked away first. Instead of being the one who was always left behind.

Her limbs shaking, Naina realized it made no difference at all. It still hurt like hell.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

VIKRAMPUSHEDHIShand into his shaving kit looking for the card he’d stuck in there. He usually immediately saved an important contact on his phone but then, he wasn’t his normal self anymore.

Something sharp pricked his finger and he pulled back with a filthy curse. A drop of blood welled up on his skin. He pressed a cotton ball against it and upended the leather shaving bag onto the black marble countertop.

A black metal dangly earring with tiny fake pearls shining around the base winked at him.

“I got this one at a street bazar in Hyderabad when I lived there one summer.”

He picked up thejhumkaand smiled. God, he couldn’t believe he remembered every detail of her bargaining with some bloke in her funny dialect of Hindi. Naina had told him the story behind every pair of earrings one night when he’d complained about her things being everywhere.

Colorful scarves on different drafts of the script. Tubes of lipstick—always some gorgeous shade of red—seemed to multiply and take over among his clothes. She’d completely taken over his bedroom and he knew now, his heart.

He’d threatened to throw them all away if one more earring stuck into his backside at night and she’d been truly horrified. When he’d arrogantly reassured her that she’d have her pick of rare gems and jewelry to replace these ones, she’d been close to tears. So he had kissed her, promising to never throw anything of hers away.

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