Page 86 of Midnight Surrender to the Spaniard

And then he took a shaky breath and his head went down into his hands. It felt as if the biggest, strongest tree was giving way beneath her fingers.

It was a very private moment that she was certain he would prefer no one to see. He let out a couple of low sobs and she could see his fingers pressed into his eyes. She didn’t know what to do, or how to comfort him, so she just hugged him tightly. Perhaps it was the right thing, because he brought her to his lap and it was like watching the sun go down to see the tears falling from his eyes.

‘Not yet,’ he said, and she clung to him. ‘I thought he had more time.’ He looked at her then. Right at her, as if they were in that deep water again, as if their souls were locked together. ‘Will you please stay? I can’t imagine the funeral...’

‘Sebastián!’ Her mouth gaped and Anna felt her heart split down the middle, torn completely in two. She really didn’t know what to say or do.

He spoke before she could. ‘You can’t.’ He said it for her. ‘I know. I forgot for a moment that you leave today.’

‘I have to get back to Willow.’

‘Of course.’

He retracted his question immediately, that brief glimpse of his agony wiped away as he tipped her off his knee and went back to being the strongest tree, all signs of vulnerability erased.

‘Of course you do,’ he said. ‘You must go—and so must I. I have so much to do.’

‘I know.’

Anna sat there, hugging her knees, as he took the quickest shower and then dressed hurriedly, calling his PA as he did so, to arrange an urgent flight from Marbella to Jerez. If she didn’t know better, she might think he was getting ready for work.

‘I have to get to the hospital and tell Alejandro. Carmen’s probably calling him now, but I asked her to wait and let me tell him face to face.’

He closed his eyes for a brief second and she saw it then—how he dealt with it all, and probably had since he was ten years old. Before that, even.

Wow.

She watched him snap back into business mode and she saw then why they called him tough—he had to be. Because everything came to him, everyone looked to him, all worries landed on his shoulders. Now he was on the phone again, speaking with whom she did not know, but it sounded like a priest.

Then he paused, kissed her cheek, ‘I really do have to—’

‘I know.’

‘Stay as long as you—’

‘I can sort myself out.’ She gave a shaky smile. ‘Worry about yourself and your family. I’m so sorry, Sebastián.’ As he threw things into a small case she hurriedly took out her phone. ‘I took this photo of you all last night.’

‘I haven’t got time—’

‘It’s of the five of you,’ Anna said. ‘It might help, if you would like it?’ she attempted.

But he was heading out through the door.

‘It doesn’t matter.’

Last night seemed to have taken place in a whole other world, and everything in this one was suddenly different. It was her last morning in Puerto Banús, and breakfast was served on the deck of the yacht, but she could barely manage the coffee.

It felt wrong to be on the outside.

She felt as if she should be there, with the rest of the family, but it was she herself who had demanded that they remain a secret.

Emily called an hour or so later and told Anna the news she already knew.

‘How’s Alejandro?’ asked Anna.

‘Stunned,’ Emily said. ‘He’s flying back to Jerez now, with Sebastián.’

‘Do you want me to come to the hospital?’

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