Page 52 of Her Diamond Deal with the CEO

‘What happened?’

For a moment, he didn’t reply, and she held her breath as the silence stretched and stretched. And then he said slowly, ‘I suppose if you were being charitable you’d call it a screw-up.’

He pressed his fingers into his forehead as if he were drawing out a memory. ‘I was at my dad’s and my mum was flying back from St Barts to pick me up, only then I found out he was taking my sisters—half-sisters—to the beach house and I had a tantrum because I wanted to go too.’

The skin was pulled taut over his cheekbones.

‘Obviously that wasn’t an option so, to distract me, my dad told me we could play hide-and-seek. And I went off to hide. I had this really good place in the airing cupboard, and I waited and I waited and then I heard a door slam and I knew my mum must have arrived. But I wanted my dad to find me so I stayed hidden, only I must have fallen asleep because I woke up and the house was dark.’

She felt herself tense. ‘Why was it dark?’

‘Because everyone had left.’

He spoke in a matter-of-fact way but she felt her face dissolve with shock. Her heart was racing. ‘I don’t understand,’ she said slowly. Because she didn’t. Before their deaths, she and Oli were at the centre of her parents’ world. And Jack’s family was wealthy, educated. They had childcare on tap. It made her mind boggle to think his father could leave his child home alone. Yes, in a film it would be funny, but she didn’t feel like laughing. She felt sick now, sicker than she had in those first tumultuous months of her pregnancy.

‘Nobody meant for it to happen. I think my dad was worried that if he came and found me I’d have another tantrum when he had to leave, so it was easier for him to just go. To be fair, Holly, the housekeeper, was there. Only she was in the garden when he drove away, and she must have thought I’d gone with him, so she locked up the house and left.’

‘What about your mother?’

‘She’d decided to extend her holiday so she was still in St Barts.’

Anger knifed through her. ‘Without telling your dad?’

‘She did tell him. She left a message. But they were always leaving messages and I guess he just didn’t bother picking it up. Like I said. It was a screw-up.’

‘But they must have realised and come back—’

‘Nobody came back.’

His eyes were tired, empty, lost, and, sliding off the bed, she knelt in front of him and took hold of his hands. ‘You must have been so scared.’

‘I was a kid. I didn’t really understand what had happened at first but then I realised I was locked in the house on my own and then I panicked. I got up onto a chair to try and slide one of the bolts on the back door. Only I fell off and broke my arm.’

Her lungs felt as if they might burst. Each word he spoke hurt more than the last.

‘I didn’t know at the time, but I triggered the alarm system and the security company saw me on the camera feed and called my grandfather and he came and took me to the hospital. I don’t know what he said to my parents but after that I went to live with him.’

Jack looked down at his hands, and she saw that they were shaking. ‘He’s the only person who’s ever looked out for me. And I lied to his face.’

Now she took his hands and held them tight. ‘Not about what matters. Your grandfather wanted you to take stock of your life, and you have. And I saw how much he loves you, and he’s always going to love you. He just wants you to love yourself.’

‘I’ve hurt him. I do stupid things. Reckless things.’

‘Like on the yacht,’ she said quietly.

He nodded. ‘I didn’t lie to you. I wasn’t drunk or high. And I didn’t want to be there any more but I jumped because I saw this photo of my mum and Penn at some tennis match, and I got upset—’

There was a long pause. Outside the window, the sky was growing darker.

‘I don’t know why it happens but I start to feel numb—’

His hands tightened around hers. ‘It’s like I’m disappearing into this darkness and I need someone to come find me or I’ll disappear for ever, and the only way I can stop it is by doing something that hurts or scares me. Because then I can focus on that and it brings me back, and I know that’s not okay—’

‘Oh, Jack—’ Clasping his face, she kissed him gently. ‘No, it’s not okay.’ She felt suddenly and intensely protective of him. ‘But it will be.’

He buried his face into her hair. ‘I’m sorry about what I said earlier. And how I was before about the baby. I know I’m the father, and I want to be there for you, for both of you. And I don’t know how we can make it work or even if you want to try—’

‘I do—’ She bit her lip to stop herself from crying. ‘I do want that; I want you to be part of this.’ She took his hand and laid it gently against her stomach.

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