Page 55 of Her Diamond Deal with the CEO

His eyes dropped to her stomach. ‘And what? You’re punishing me for that?’

She took a step towards him. ‘No, of course not. It’s not even about you. It’s about Oli. I didn’t know what to say to him.’ Her voice stumbled but he could see the fierce love in her eyes for her brother. ‘He doesn’t have anyone else but me, and he needs me. And I know he’s super-smart, but you spoke to him. He’s just a kid.’

‘And I spoke to you. I told you things I’ve never told anyone. Because I trusted you—’

‘You can trust me—’ she began, but he was backing away from her.

‘You told me that we could make this work. That we would make it work.’ He was shivering now so that he had to tense his body to keep his voice from shaking. ‘But you know what, Ondine? I’m really struggling to see how you could believe that when you haven’t even told your brother I exist.’

Suddenly, he couldn’t bear to be in the room with her any longer, to have her witness his stupidity. Without giving her a chance to reply, he turned and walked across the living room and into the hall and slammed his hand against the elevator button. The doors opened immediately, and he stepped inside, his heart pounding.

‘Jack—’

He caught a glimpse of her pale, stunned face and then the doors shut and a moment later the elevator started to move. He didn’t know where he was going. But it didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was to keep moving. Because if he stopped, he knew the pain in his heart would swallow him whole.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

ASTHEDOORSclosed Ondine felt as if she were back on Dipper’s Beach. Only the difference was she couldn’t dive after him into the elevator shaft. Instead, she hammered the button on the wall with her fist, again and again, but she knew already the lift would only come back up when Jack stepped through the doors in the entrance foyer. It was one of the perks of having the penthouse: you had your own private elevator.

But it didn’t feel like a perk now. Panic clawed at her throat, strangling her.

Where was he going? Above her frantic heartbeat she could hear his voice inside her head.

‘I got upset... I don’t know why it happens but I start to feel numb...and the only way I can stop it is by doing something that hurts or scares me.’

And now she was scared. Pressing her hand to her mouth, she gave a sob as the lift doors opened. It was empty. He was gone because of her. She had hurt him. She hadn’t meant to, but she had. Somewhere out there in Manhattan he was hurting—

Head spinning, she stared at the empty lift, panic and fear overwhelming her. She had known instantly what to do on the beach even though she’d been off duty and had no float, no phone—

Her phone.

Her heart stopped beating. Of course. She could call him.

She ran back into the apartment and snatched up her phone. Her fingers felt fat and clumsy as she pressed his name on the screen.

‘Pick up, pick up...please pick up,’ she whispered. She felt a jolt of relief as he answered and then she realised it was just his voicemail greeting.

‘Hi, this is Jack. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.’

‘It’s me. I’m so sorry, Jack. I know I hurt you and I know you probably don’t want to speak to me right now, but could you please call me back?’

She texted him too, and then she sat down on the sofa. She had to. Her legs felt as if they were made of blancmange. Even after her parents died, she hadn’t felt this helpless. Then there had been so much to arrange, to organise, and she’d had to be strong for Oli. But here in this beautiful, silent apartment with his accusations still ringing in the air, she couldn’t catch her breath, let alone think of what to do next.

The room swam. She had never meant to hurt him. She loved him, and now she realised how much because pain was the price you paid for loving someone. She knew that from losing her parents and this pain was equal to the aching loss she’d felt after the accident.

Think.Think.There must be something she could do. She couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. But this was her first time in New York. Aside from Jack, she knew no one. Knew nothing about the city.

Except that wasn’t true. They had talked a lot about his life here, she thought, her heartbeat accelerating. She knew where he bought coffee. And where he liked to walk. And he had a driver, Tom, who had picked them up from the airport.

She felt a fluttering hope, tiny but strong like a hummingbird’s wings. Surely with Tom’s help she would be able to find him, and then she could talk to him. She could make this right. But first she needed to get dressed. And call him again.

An hour and a half later, that hope was growing feebler by the minute. Nobody had seen Jack at any of the places she went to. And New York was so much bigger than she had imagined. A man could get lost there with hardly any effort. If he was even there.

Maybe he had left the city. She pictured the Walcott jet gleaming on the runway, her heart a leaden beat of misery. Left the country.

If only she had told Oli the truth. But when could she have told him? And what? At the beginning she had been struggling to believe that she could go through with it. That she would marry Jack for money. After the ceremony she had been angry with herself, mainly for having left herself so few options. Too angry to speak to Oli. He would have heard it in her voice. She couldn’t have risked that. Couldn’t have risked him coming back.

Then later she had been sick and then there was the baby and how could she have told him about the baby?

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