Page 57 of The Sweetest Note

“It’s freezing here,” I scoff. Hearing movement behind me, I quickly grab scrubs that look to be her size and underwear before turning back to go to Lennon.

My eyes widen as I see that she’s upright on the bench and grabbing the scalpel, staring at her thigh. “No!” I scream. Please, where’s my fucking fighter? The girl who fought me under the plastic at every turn?

Startled, she looks behind her, almost letting go of the scalpel. Stupid, I’m so damn stupid…

My long legs eat up the length between us, and I fling the clothes onto the counter as I pass it. Lennon hurries, attempting to stab herself in the upper thigh, but I grab both her wrists, twisting the one wielding the knife until she lets go with a pained cry.

“Why would you do this?” I growl. “This is not the way you go out, is that understood?”

“I just want to be done,” Lennon screams, her voice tortured. “I have nothing. They don’t love me, and they left me here!”

I swallow roughly at the pain in her voice, shaking my head. I can’t tell her the scenes were twisted into a lie, or that Derek is putting his very soul at risk to save her. It’s too soon for her to know any of this.

“Why would you fight me so hard tonight if you just wanted to kill yourself?” I ask, leaning over her so she has to arch her neck to see me. I ignore the nudity, it doesn’t affect me right now, because I need to seeher. This girl bends, but she can never break. I won’t let her give up. I need to understand what’s going on in her head.

“Why does it matter?” she gasps as her legs kick and her body twists to get away from me. Lennon’s still wet, and I struggle to hold onto her. “You tried to fucking kill me earlier with the plastic, you psychopath!”

I chuckle darkly, because she’s wrong… so wrong. “I can kill you in hundreds of different ways, girl. Take another look. Do you really not know who I am?” I don’t know what makes me ask her this. She barely paid attention to me in high school, too busy trying to survive. I look different now too.

Lennon shakes her head, purple, wet hair whipping back and forth. I wince as it hits me in the face. Damn, it's like a weapon. Lennon starts to slip from my hands and I yell, “Damnit, why are you making it so hard to help you?”

“Snap my neck,” she insists, her eyes wild and angry. “Your hands are huge, just a little pressure, and I’d be free of this place. I’d still be me, whoever that is.” Lennon laughs without amusement, twisting again, and I pull her up into my chest, crossing my arms with one of her wrists in each hand to become a living straightjacket.

Breathing hard, I bury my face in her neck. I can’t bear her desperation. She’s so much better than this. “Lennon,” I rasp. “Tell me one thing you know is real.”

“Nothing… it’s all jumbled. I don’t know what’s real anymore, I’m always medicated,” she cries. Huge tears trail down her cheeks, hitting my face.

“Can you hold onto one thing for me? Promise to never let it go?” I growl. I need to get her back to her room, or people are going to come looking. But I need her to hold onto this one thing, or the next time someone turns their back on this girl, she’ll accomplish killing herself.

And then, all of this will be for nothing. Do I want to stop Xav and Grant and my father? Fuck yes, but I also find myself wanting her too.

“What?” she whispers in a tortured sob.

I want to ask her to pinch herself, but she’s often tied up or in a straightjacket. I rack my brain, trying to find something for her to hold on to. “Derek Williams. You know him, right?” I ask, knowing she does, swallowing hard. I know I may be doing something insanely stupid, but no one knows he’s on her side.

“Yes,” she whispers. “His mom is here. She’s really sweet, and doesn’t deserve to be here.”

I have varied thoughts on this, but I refuse to voice them to this gorgeous girl. Lennon doesn’t need to know about how Marian is here because she made the wrong choice. “I have a feeling, no one deserves to be here,” I tell her instead. “Derek is going to come for you. That man will burn the world down for you, and I need you to remember this. Also… that video was bullshit,” I whisper in her ear, so softly that it’s barely a breath, but I know she hears me because she sags into my arms and sobs.

The sobs are for herself, the knowledge that she almost let them win, and she almost gave up. “Oh my god,” she breathes, her voice tortured and devastated.

I sit her carefully on the edge of the tub, making sure she can balance. Standing slowly, I take a step back and grab the clothing I threw. I’m worried about her. Lennon is so damn thin, I could feel her bones as I hugged her to me. No wonder she has so little energy.

Swallowing hard, I kneel on the floor, knowing she may cringe away from me. “I just want to help you get dressed,” I tell her softly as she hugs her body.

Nodding, she struggles to breathe, coughing as she chokes. Lennon’s throat is bruised from the plastic sheeting, and my stomach twists. I don’t deserve to touch her… ever.

Quickly, and efficiently, I help her put on the underwear and scrubs I found in the closet. She looked at me surprised when she saw me pick up the scrubs.

“It’s cold,” I grunt as I help her. “You’re not sleeping enough, and Xav is planning on keeping you up tonight.” Every word is spoken softly, so softly even if there were devices in the bathroom, they wouldn’t pick up. My lips barely even move.

Lennon notices and she sighs, letting her hair cover her face as she responds, her voice muffled by the straightjacket as it goes over her head.

“More metalcore for hours? How cliche,” she says lightly.

Fucking asshole. No one would be able to sleep through that. I grunt as I tie her arms down, and then go to the closet and find her two pairs of socks to put on. “He’s going to use your sister,” I whisper.

Lennon sucks in a breath as I help her up. “Remember, nothing here is as it seems, yeah?” I remind her softly as I start to walk her to the door. Looking over my shoulder at the cart… I chew my lip. “There’s a million different pills on the cart, know if any of them are for sleep?”

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