Page 19 of The Sweetest Note

“We have specialists you will work with, new treatment practices that are considered cutting edge, and lots of hard work for you to do. This will not be a comfortable stay,” the doctor says with a shark’s smile. “These treatments should yield very satisfying results.”

I still feel like I lost a chunk of the conversation. Fisting my hands so my nails dig into my palms, I’m glad he can’t see them.

“Satisfying for who?” I ask.

“Whom,” says a voice that steps into the office.

I don’t know why, but the voice makes my heart stop. Do I turn to see who spoke? Wait for him to walk into my eyesight? I feel like my life is going to change when I do see him and I want to close my eyes.

But I don’t.I don’t fucking cow to anyone. Taking a deep breath, I sit a bit taller. “Yes, satisfying for whom?” I repeat insistently.

The man behind me chuckles and grabs my hair, wrapping it tightly around his fist. Gasping, I try to pull away. “Why, it’ll be satisfying for me, of course. We are going to have a great time rewiring your brain.”

Eyes forced to meet his, I see almost colorless blue eyes set in a cruel, lined face. Holding my hair firmly, he looks at the doctor. “Do I have permission to act as I please with Miss Lennon?” he asks smoothly.

Something tells me he’ll do whatever he wants either way.

“Yes. The nurse stated she wasn't even close to breaking yet. Usually our patients are much more pliable by this point, but I also got the feeling that I rushed her and Colly. The news has broken that she’s under the care of a physician due to a mental breakdown, so no one should come looking for the sad, crazy musician who broke under too much pressure. It’s an age-old story, and one that will work in our favor. In an effort to pretend to give a shit: What are your treatment goals for Lennon O’Reilly?” the doctor asks.

“I’m sitting right here,” I snarl, tired of being spoken about as if I’m not in the room.

The man behind me chuckles and shoves three fingers into my mouth. I try to bite down, but gag instead. “You will learn your place,” he tells me as I stare up at him. This tactic is one of humiliation, and my eyes start to naturally leak tears as he restricts my airway.

I try to stand to get my feet under me in an effort to catch a breath and get away, but he steps around my chair and swipes my feet off the floor. I can’t get any leverage with my hair wrapped around his fist, feeling like I’m drowning on my spit and his fingers. My body twists, still intent to try, but with the straightjacket, it’s a losing battle.

Over the roar of panic beginning to sound in my ears, I hear him calmly continue, as if I’m an errant child, and they are discussing my punishment. “I think we’ll try some behavior modification using a new technique I learned to see how it works on a female. It’s been years since I’ve had the pleasure to practice on a woman without restrictions. Typically, the women who come here are protected from me. Such a pain in my ass,” he says with a small chuckle.

I try to speak, but can’t. Instead a small sob releases and I feel a rush of shame. I don’t want to give him anything to enjoy, not one sound, but my body is weak. I struggle to breathe from my nose, but he shoves his fingers deeper down my throat.

Calmly, cruelly, he dismisses me as I writhe.If only I could get my feet on the floor.His foot simply continues to kick my feet out from under me, as if enjoying my struggle. “Gabriel, have the orderlies been allowed to play with her yet? I understand she has several boyfriends, so she shouldn’t mind a little sexual play. No one cares what a whore wants, but I have some clients that have interest in a new plaything. Miss Lennon may be perfect for this, but I’ll need to train her a bit first,” he explains.

I don’t completely understand what he means by clients, but I’m in a locked down unit. This should mean I only have to worry about the hell inside of this hospital. I release a snarl despite his fingers gagging me, and the man pulls them slowly out before pushing them even deeper. This feels sexual and dirty, and my heart thunders even louder as I begin to see what my future may be. Torture and modification under the excuse of making me better.

Did Roark and Turner really fucking send me here?

“Yes, yes, Mr. Xav. I’m sure she’s pretty to look at under the restraints and clothing she’s wearing. My kids enjoy her music, and have been to her concerts. They’ll be sad she won’t ever perform again, but we have our marching orders, don’t we?” The doctor seems rueful as he says this.

I don’t want this to be my life. He said I could eventually leave!

I struggle more and Mr. Xav pulls his hand away. “You’re just going to tire yourself out,” he sighs. “Lennon, we need to talk soon, but I think you need a nap first.”

I feel a pressure on the back of my neck as he presses down and I gasp. “Please no,” I rasp, my throat sore and uncomfortable from earlier.

The edges of my eyesight start to darken and I see Dr. Bennet is towering over me as well now. “You’re a pretty little pawn,” he says, brushing my cheek with his finger. “I don’t know who you pissed off, but they are determined to make an example out of you. We may as well enjoy the process, and I know your screams will be extremely sweet, little songbird.”

I whimper as my eyes start to close and I begin to lose consciousness. “You don’t have to do this,” I whisper as my head starts to lull.

Mr. Xav releases my hair, but continues to apply pressure on the back of my neck. Leaning over me with the doctor, he grins. “No, I don’t. I’m doing this because I fucking can.”

Shuddering, I pass out, starting to understand that I’m not getting out of this easily.

Derek

I stare at the phone another moment before lifting my hand to command silence. Somehow, everyone shuts the fuck up and I answer the call, putting my father on speaker.

“Hello Father,” I state, my voice polite, but uncaring. I don’t want my father to pick up on anything he can use against me.

“Did you lose something, son?” he asks, mildly amused. I’m not in the least bit surprised by the barb.

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