Page 86 of The Sweetest Note

Stepping back, I slide down the wall onto my ass, eyes rolling towards the ceiling as I drift. Fingers twitching, I think about how gorgeous Lenny is, with silver-blonde hair or lavender, she’s a goddess.

I am so ready for her to be back in our arms. Sleepy, I fall onto the hard tile floor and yawn.Maybe I’ll just sleep here for a while. Dreaming of Lennon sounds nice for a bit.

My breathing slows, and a part deep inside of me feels like something is wrong. I feel like I’m wrapped in wool, and everything feels insignificant. My hand falls to the side, and I notice how pale it is.

I think I fucked up. I took pills from a stranger, someone I didn’t know, and now I think I’m going to die on this stupid floor. I’ll never play with the kids downstairs again, never see Lennon, or Derek or Turner.

Attempting to yell, it sounds more like a gurgle. Fuck. Breathing hard, I kick out and thump my foot against the bathroom cabinet. Wheezing, I do it again. Shivering on the floor, I begin to pray.

Please let me see Lennon again. Please don’t let me die. For fook’s sake, don’t let the kids see me like this.

Gritting my teeth against this last thought, I scream as I kick hard. I hear a bang from the bedroom door slamming against the wall and my eyes close. I don’t know if I have any more energy left to save myself.

If I die here, I deserve it for being a selfish bastard.

Cold fingers touch my face and I moan. “Shh,que tomaste, Ror? Mi hijito, necesito saber.”

My eyes meet Mama Rodriguez’s eyes and she shakes her head, dashing my tears carefully. I roll my eyes to the counter, because even if I don’t know Spanish, I know she needs to know what I took.

Getting up quickly, she grabs the bag of drugs. “¡Maldita sea!” she curses. Looking down on me, she bends and squeezes my fingers. “I need to get Tori. That girl better be out of bed,” Mama Rodriguez mutters as she hurries out of the room.

The whole thing would be funny if it weren’t for the fact that everything looks lifeless and dull. My eyes start to close no matter how hard I work to keep them open. Everything is hard, and my heartbeat sounds weird in my ears too.

Fuck I’m gonna die aren’t I…?

A hard slap across my face makes me gasp and my eyes rip open.

“Roark, we’re not doing this today, okay?” Tori is on her knees, with a nasal spray in her hand. “When you’re better, we’re going to talk about you bringing that shit into my house. In the meantime, this is probably going to feel uncomfortable.”

Tori pushes the nozzle of the spray in my nose and I inhale deeply. It feels like my body is at war as the drug pushes its way through my system. My eyes still droop and Tori keeps talking to me.

“You’re lucky Greg is so compulsive and immediately made sure we had Narcan in the house when you moved in. He knew you were going to have a hard time,” she continues as she pushes up my eyelids. “We’ve been having some trouble at Miguel’s club, but I really thought we’d run the person off. Apparently, I was wrong and they were just waiting to get to you.”

I hear Turner speaking on the phone and I hear the words “overdose” and “ambulance”. Shuddering, I gasp as my skin feels clammy. At least it’s working, but it feels shitty.

“Not on purpose,” I whisper to her, blinking heavily.

Tori shakes her head with a gentle smile. “Of course not, honey. We all know that. Can you tell me how many pills you took?”

“Two,” I grunt, and her eyes flick up to the powder residue and hundred dollar bill I abandoned.

“That shouldn’t have made you feel like this,” Tori mutters.

Tesa comes and sits next to us, squeezing my hand. “My mother is freaking out about you. I told her you’d be fine,” she sighs. “There was a report someone overdosed after they left the club, and the toxicology report showed the drugs were laced with fentanyl. The police threatened to shut my brother down, but he agreed to help find the dealer.”

“Xav?” I gasp out and Tesa’s lips thin.

“Hijo de puta!”Tesa growls.

“Tesa!” Mama Rodriguez yells and I let out a weak laugh.

Tori pushes my hair out of my face and sighs. “You scared the shit out of us, Roark. Don’t do it again.”

Nodding, the last thing I remember is the sound of heavy boots up the stairs as I pass out.

Turner

I feel like an asshole. There was this desperation in Roark’s eyes when he dropped by Miguel’s office, but I ignored it because I was hurting too. We’ve all be drowning since Derek told us Lennon had been sold and raped at the hospital.